Working on my day off

November 14, 2016 / Matt Talley / Leave a comment

The house remodel seems to never end… I will be so glad to just be and live in our space at some point. We are close, but there are still details left undone – enough that I am trying to concentrate on one room at a time. My plan is to get each done in turn and then move on to the next. I wasn’t as successful at that as I wanted to be this weekend as I bounced back and forth between the living room and our bedroom closet, but I did get a ton done.

I installed the upper shelves and corner shelf in the walk-in closet, laminating two layers of 3/4″ plywood for really strong support over a 54″ span and in the unsupported corner. In addition to using copious amount of glue and screws, I attached the butted plywood edges together with wood biscuits – it is always a fine day when I get to crank up the biscuit joiner.

Almost a year ago, I sourced some corner shelves at one of the local architectural salvage places for less than $200 – far cheaper than what it would have taken me to build them. They came out of a 1930-40’s house and were painted Christmas colors, but I knew that they would be perfect for our living room, which was stripped of its built-ins at some point in the last 88 years. They have sat in storage and until this past week when I pulled them out and got some material together to permanently mount them. Stamps-With-Foot helped me set them in place after I built sturdy bases. Each of them cover a wall plug, so I am in the process of re-routing the receptacle using armored cable. I also have to build in an air-return duct under one and that has taken some serious brain power to get right. I will add trim this week and my wife and Mother-in-law will paint them cabinet white this weekend.

While I was at it, I punched out a rubber washer for a pot lid knob. I made the knob a couple years ago out of some scrap cherry firewood after the original plastic one broke. The original washer had corroded, so I made a new one and installed it.

I also took a couple minutes to mount the red glass post topper on the back fence. It was ordered (along with a spare) months ago and have meant to put it on every weekend since. There is always an excuse for why I didn’t, so I marched right out first thing Saturday with a tube of clear silicone and finally just got it done. It is the little victories that keep me going.

A Walk-in Closet for My Wife

November 9, 2016 / Matt Talley / Leave a comment

As part of the now 10 month rehab, remodel, rebuild of our house my wife wanted some space to hang her clothes and put her shoes and boots that was not an afterthought. A place that, for once was not crammed or disorganized and was purpose built. It was decided that we turn a small bedroom/office into a walk-in closet.

I sketched out a few ideas in my notebook and went over them with her. She removed a large shoe rack and opted for more clothes bar space. She also wanted a bunch of drawers to store smaller stuff in. I initially drew everything with a built in dresser, but changed it a little and made room for a free-standing French dresser made in Revel in the 1930’s that we acquired while living in Toulouse. There is 27 feet of linear hanging space using iron pipe (no sag), 24+ shoe cubbies, shelves, drawers, storage, and two full length mirrors.

I spent most of this past weekend getting the flat panel section dividers up, installing the clothes bars and adding top shelves. There are three areas that are made for off-season storage: coats in the summers/short sleeves in the winter. For these spaces, I decided to line one wall each with cedar. While some people might line the whole closet with cedar, I would advise against it unless you and your significant other wants to smell like a lumberjack constantly. Too much and the smell, while pleasing for me, pervades everything.

I lined two of the three spaces this weekend and got to use my old-school hand miter saw. While manual, it is faster to use in the closet – no dragging in a stand and cords and creates a LOT less dust than my big power Bosch miter saw.

I still need to add shelving on one side, put up all of the upper and lower panel trim, fill my nail holes, sand, paint, and bring the dresser in, but the space is usable and has allowed us to unpack all the boxes that have sat in our bedroom full of clothes. I will take the clothes back out on the day that I sand and paint.

Here is the progress to this point:

Using My Dad’s Tools

November 7, 2016 / Matt Talley / 1 Comment

In 1982 or 1983 my dad made me a ball, bat, and glove rack for Christmas. I was super into baseball and it was cool to have your gear up on the wall ready and waiting for you to be able to grab it all and run out the door to a game at a moments notice. Getting the pocket for the ball cut correctly and rounding over all the edges and corners took him forever. He decided that he HAD to have a router and for that same Christmas, my mom bought him a Craftsman 1-1/2 HP, Model #315.17492 Double Insulated router. He was as happy as a puppy with a new bone and looked for stuff to round over, “ease the edge…” everywhere in our lives for months. He was so proud of that router and for years a wood project around the house wasn’t complete until it had been kissed by a 1/4′ shank bit, whirling at 25,000 RPM.

When my dad passed, I got all his tools and the router was part of the deal. I have used it for years and while it is a little funky to adjust and has a base that isn’t perfectly round, it still does a fine job of “easing the edge” on shelves and cabinets. For the most part I use a 1/2 or 3/4 round-over bit in it and use my trim router for 1/4 and 1/8 round overs. Technology has much improved since the early ’80s and I have other routers to do fancy stuff these days but, Daddy’s still gets used a good bit.

I few years ago I had a garage break-in and a bunch of tools were stolen. I lost a lot of Daddy’s wrenches, power tools, my grandfather’s chisels, all sorts of stuff, but the big funky router happened to be in the basement where I had left it sitting for weeks on a long undone project. I am thankful it didn’t end up in a pawnshop somewhere and I am still able to use it to do a little work and connect with my dad, all these years later, just by using the router that he so badly wanted. I used Daddy’s router today, while building a walk-in closet for my wife. I thought about my dad, his smile, his quiet manner, and his patient love for his small son.

New yellow Mustard-Monster Lathe up and running

October 27, 2016 / Matt Talley / Leave a comment

When building The F-Bomb Garage, I bought some new tools in which to fill it. One of those hunks of iron delight was a Powermatic PM3520b wood lathe with a bed extension and lots of accessories. It was a replacement for the three lathes of varying sizes I had sold before the original garage was torn down. I didn’t have the room or desire to store equipment that I wanted to upgrade anyway. The new lathe had been boxed up for 4 months waiting for me to clear some room, unpack boxes, and for the power to be hooked up.

I spent all of Saturday afternoon, the weekend after power was finally turned on, putting together my sweet lathe. The thing is a beast, so I had to start out with the bed upside down and install the legs. I carefully rolled it on its side after all the leg bolts were torqued down and girded up my loins for some heavy lifting. Now, what I should of done was hook a block and tackle to the rafters and pulled it up right, but I am hard-headed, so I put on wrist straps and dead-lifted the bed onto a 2′ wood block. Then, after psyching myself up a little, I lifted it the rest of the way vertical. If my sweet wife would have caught me, she would have said dirty words and i would have been in serious – grounded form the shop – trouble.

Anyway, after the base was upright, the head-stock/motor, banjo (tool rest holder), and tail-stock went on. I installed the 18″ bed extension while I was at it and made sure to check everything over one more time.

It is 710lbs of mustard-yellow sexy.

We Have LIGHTS!!!

October 21, 2016 / Matt Talley / Leave a comment

HOLY Bejesus… I have Electricity in the F-Bomb Garage!! Only 4 months after permit pulled and 9 months after garage build began. I have lights that are not hooked up to an extension cord, the auto door openers work, there are five 110VAC plugs ready for power tools, and my lift is now working without the aid of a 220VAC extension cord running from the drier plug in the basement of the house.

I just had the bare minimum done to get the panel and transfer switch in place and have the city sign off on the garage. Now, that is not to say that all is well in the electrical department: I am still waiting for final permit sign off for the work already done, which is on hold. Apparently, my electrician screwed up the wire routing in the meter box and SCL cannot install a meter. Thankfully they are letting me keep the lights on until my current electrician can come back and address.

I am now prepping in all the other 110 plugs myself – at 4′ high, putting in 2 additional 220 plugs and a 50amp plug for my welder. There is no way I am going to pay an hourly fee to have romex run, holes drilled, staples put in, and plugs & switches wired in. Nope. I will be paying electrician that my company contracts for industrial work to sign off on my install and run the lines into the panel and install breakers – already arranged and the price isn’t too bad at all. While I can do this in my sleep, I am not licensed and my insurance would not pay a dime is something happened, regardless of fault.

Additionally, My J-O-B was getting rid of a huge organizer bin cabinet: 1/8″ steel, 72″X24″X84″ and 350+ lbs. There was no way I was going to watch that beast go to the recycling center, so I asked if I could have it. Yep, the facilities guy said “load it up” and btw “I have a pallet jack that is wonky if you want it…” Yes, please. Got them both home and the cabinet fits perfectly and will be amazing for climbing, boarding, camping gear organization – keeping all the shop dust and debris off of my gear and making it so I don’t have to dig for small parts ever again.

The pallet jack was low on hydraulic fluid. I filled it up, put a weighted pallet on it overnight and this morning I found the pallet still in the air and no fluid on the floor. Win-win.

F-Bomb Garage Build Update: Mid-September 2016

September 17, 2016 / Matt Talley / Leave a comment

Still no electricity… long sad story from the electrician: too much work, not enough people, confusion with the city, scheduling snafu… No show at all last week. I have watched an entire house, with a garage, be built and sold 3 streets away since my garage project started…

Fall is here and the rain is coming soon, so I spent an afternoon last week with the Airless Spray Rig and painted the garage doors, bollard post, and man-door Benjamin Moore Heritage red. The door & building trim will be bright white and will go on after work one day next week. Gutters go on after.

House Remodel Status September 2, 2016 – 7.5 months in

September 3, 2016 / Matt Talley / Leave a comment

Here is the house/garage re-build/build status for the 1st part of September.

The F-Bomb Garage has been painted – at least the outside walls. I need to paint the trim and doors next.
Repaired some major issues with the trim and siding on garage – real unhappy with my garage builder!
Front yard is still green, but need to clean and re-seed the back yard.
There oar only 2 rooms in the house that are complete and need no work at this point. Stamps-With-Foot could be happier with me right now…
The mounting brackets for the granite in the basement are done and I will install them this weekend.
Our washing machine went out… fuck. The bearings finally gave up the ghost. need to haul it out and put another in.
No garage power yet. Huge load of confusion between the City of Seattle and my electrician. Maybe worked out now, but we will see.
The yard is completely fenced in and the rear gate is installed. just a couple of tweaks and then power wash and polyurethane coat.
The living room corner cabinets are in place, but not painted or installed.
We have a small roof leak – motherfvcker!!! it is around the kitchen vent and from where the moss removal team got too eager with the power washer. I will go up there this weekend and seal it.
Got a huge bill from our plumber for work that they didn’t do before abandoning the job. wanted to scan my ass into the 3D printer and send them a copy. Called a lawyer instead. we have a plan forward.

The yard is now secure for the puppies

September 2, 2016 / Matt Talley / Leave a comment

I spent my evenings after work this week rebuilding 35’ of fence, connecting it to the corners of the new garage, and installing two gates using reclaimed boards and stringers from the original fence that I carefully tore down back in January. I reused the screws and most of the hardware, but had to buy 7 new treated posts, 2160 lbs of Sakrete, 4 bolts and two 2x8x10s. Total cost was $160 and 14 hours of labor including the tear down and hole digging.

My neighbor has been INCREDIBLY patient with me, my mess, noise, and building debris. When I rebuilt the fence on her side of the yard, I tore out some more of the existing, replaced two rotten posts and then leveled the tops of each section to make it look nicer. There were a couple of solid posts left from the previous fence location – about 2′ from the new garage – that I just couldn’t chop down or pull out so, I leveled them up and built her a simple trellis for honey suckle or wisteria. I also bought her a $50 Starbucks card as a small ‘Thank you!’.

The back gate and adjoining section is a nice mix of mostly reclaimed and reused hardware, boards, bits mixed with new posts and structural support. I did double up on the facing boards (set on both sides) for some additional privacy as our hot tub is right on the other side. The gate itself used to be on the opposite side of the yard. I had to trim it a bit to get it to hang plumb, and move some hardware around a little. I will be adding an additional hinge in the middle for added support and some face boards on the outside as well, so it gives the same amount of privacy and so it matches the fence. The whole thing then will get a power washing and a coat of polyurethane in the coming weeks.

Painting The F-Bomb Garage

August 26, 2016 / Matt Talley / Leave a comment

The Garage build is coming along. Still waiting for Seattle City Light to connect the power from the transformer. 5 weeks now…Delay has been just a factor of this build. I would have more patience with City Light if one of their crews hadn’t been sitting at a bikini coffee stand for 30+ minutes on Monday while I was eating a late lunch across the street. I like boobs and bikinis and coffee even more than the average bear, but come on – don’t tell tell everybody how swamped your crews are if they have time to have a philosophical discussion with a nearly naked barista…

(For those of you not in the PacNW – bikini coffee here is a thing and some stands are really open to the definition of what a bikini is – an eye patch and pasties are the rule and some stands.)

I can’t continue with the interior wiring until that connection happens and the electrical inspection is OKed. No insulation or drywall/T1-11 until it get the “OK to Cover” from the electric inspector. I am not one to sit on my butt, so I wheeled out the airless spray rig for the first time in like forever and put two coats of quality Benjamin Moore paint on the outside of the garage – matches the house. I will paint the doors and trim this weekend.

Building fences and pouring concrete

August 25, 2016 / Matt Talley / 2 Comments

I need to tie the wooden fence back into the new structure so the dogs can roam in the back yard again. While backing up to unload concrete and posts for the fence, I barely tapped the corner of the garage with my trailer. Not a single scratch or dent or ding, but it made me say DIRTY words. I put my thunkin’ cap on and decided that if I did it once, I would do it again, and someone else would definitely smack the corner. A Bollard was in order. I went by Pacific Metals and picked up a 6’X5″X5/16″ wall hunk of square tubing and 4 sections of 3/8X10′ rebar.

I rented an auger to dig the needed 7 post holes and dropped in 1 more for the bollard. The fence post holes are 18-14″ deep, but the bollard hole is 38″ deep and after chipping away at it with a post hole digger, maybe 14-16″ in diameter with a bell-shaped bottom. I cut 3 of the rebars to 7’ and bent the three pieces into a fishhook shape, wire tying the tops together in 3 places. I then took the off cuts and bent them into a “U.”

I put the rebar in the hole, sitting on plastic rebar chairs and placed the post over them. I splayed out the “hook” sections and wire-tied the U-shaped pieced around the rebar and around the bollard. I then added another hoop around the original section and the tied hoop. Concrete was poured in and vibrated to get all the air and voids out. I filled the bollard with concrete and used a scrap section of rebar to agitate and pack down the concrete in the bollard.

I left 4” of the top of the square tubing free of concrete and dropped in a 6” lag bolt with to 3” sticking out of the wet concrete, but still in the tube. After the concrete dried and while I was setting some fence posts, I went back and finished off the top of the bollard with a bit more concrete. I will paint it red when I paint the doors to the garage. The thing won’t stop a tank, but it might save the corner of my garage from a moment of inattention…

Not so short contractor rant

August 22, 2016 / Matt Talley / Leave a comment

We are so close to being done with the garage and the house (yard is still a disaster, which will have to wait ‘til next year, but the stress of dealing with crappy, disorganized, and/or no show contractors throughout this process has been and is so frustrating. This is not a post to rail on all contractors or even all of our contractors…

We had same great ones:

Maranatha Hardwood Floors showed up on time for the quote. The owner was personable and the quote was reasonable. They showed up on time, did a beautiful job, listened to a specific request from my wife, there were no extra charges, cleaned up after themselves, and our floor looks great.
RCS Fire Place was A-1: On time, good pricing, no add-on charges, etc…
After an initial sales rep flub, Greenwood Heating & Air did a nice job on our heat pump. Very professional installers. No complaints.
Vehicle Equipment Solutions was awesome on the lift order and install. I couldn’t be happier with their work.
Our Drywall guys were top notch. Very professional, great price, showed up when they were supposed to and finished right on time.
The carpet guys that did our bedroom were fast, professional, and did a nice job.
I had some custom wrought iron brackets made and the blacksmith listen to our wants and delivered a beautiful product.
Pacific RIM equipment rental was great in supplying heavy equipment for the garage tear out and site prep. When there was a breakdown, they delivered a new machine and I wasn’t charged for any gas use for the entire weekend.
Bryan at Squak Box was a rock star when it came time to haul out the debris from the old garage and all the old concrete. On time, no hidden costs, dropped the containers perfectly. Couldn’t ask for more.

And the not so great:

My garage contractor has now quit. There is little I can do at this point besides shake my head in wonder and disgust. It has been a bumpy road from almost the start, but I figured that with a little bit of work it would all be OK. A bit of work turned into a part time job and time spent on the garage was time not spent on the house and that made Stamps-With-Foot grumble. In addition to the garage tear down and the site preparation that had to be done (40+ hours of my time and ~$3000. I had to do 4-5 hours of slab/rebar prep when the contractor’s guy messed up, then had to ask for poly burlap to cure the slab, apparently not standard. I ended up keeping the slab wet for the entire 10-day cure (to limit cracking and allow it to fully harden, then apply the concrete densifier after my normal workday and the end of the cure process.

Installation of fire blocking isn’t required per code in Seattle for a wall less than 10’, but it is the right thing to do. It was out of scope for the contractor and an additional cost, so The Ruminator and I ended up doing it while he was here on summer vacation. I had to install two forgotten kicker studs, tighten missed/forgotten anchor bolt nuts, added nails to the hurricane straps, and had to go over punch list items twice before they were addressed.

The windows and door trim were installed incorrectly – I could see daylight in the corners of the windows and I asked that they be re-installed. When that was being done, my siding got cracked. I also found that instead of every 16” per code, the siding was nailed every 4’ in some locations. I called and the foreman came out. He addressed some issues but caused others. I then called the owner and he came out. He agreed with every point I had. They crew came back and while some items were fixed, others were not and new problems popped up. I let the owner know and this was his response:

“Unfortunately we’ve succeeded in messing up again. ____ had no excuse for why he didn’t read my email, about taking the siding out from the bottom of the windows, and what they were thinking with the screws into the bottom of the fascia’s. If they’d pre-drilled the holes it would have worked and been clean.

I don’t have anyone else in my employee who I could send down to make any corrections, and I don’t think you would trust anyone I sent to do any more work. What I’d like to offer is to forego our final payment and let you clean up any items by your self. I don’t like doing this, I really want to get the job done for you but we’ve already had three try’s. I know you might not be as happy as you should be but I want to at least make you satisfied with _____________.”

I am not happy and while I agree that I don’t trust his guys to come back a third time, the keeping of a few hundred bucks does not make it all better. Now, I either have to find and pay someone else or do it myself. Frustrating.

I have looked at this. Am I just an asshole? Am I too picky or do I expect too much? I really have looked at this hard and yes, I can be an asshole, but not in this and not with a single contractor or tradesman on my site. We provided lunches, Gator-aid, and beer for all the guys working, I talked to every contractor that has been on our property like I would want to be spoken to, If I wanted something different or changed, I addressed it right then by ASKING and wasn’t the least bit of a shit about it. I cleaned up the job site in the afternoons after I got off work to save them all time and effort.

Is needing someone to stick to a schedule, be on time, and not halfway do something too particular? I don’t think so. Is asking that a contractor meet minimum code requirements, pull permits, and do the job they agreed to for the agreed to price crazy? apparently so.

Other issues:

In addition to the plumbing circus that we had in the spring, we had a carpentry crew that abandoned us for a job where the other customer was screaming louder. They left tools, work unfinished, material, you name it. My electrician has been a little flakey – uncashed checks, no shows, showing up unannounced and unscheduled, really hard to get a hold of, etc., but at least this one hasn’t broken into our house while we were gone… I have had 3 contractors come out for quotes on our basement bathroom tile and never heard from two of them again. The third guy finally called me back and said the job was just way too small and “not worth the time it would take to set up his wet-saw.”

I get it, all the contractors in Seattle are busier than a puppy with two peckers. That means that 1. they can be super picky, 2. charge what they want, 3. if they fuck up, no worries, there are three other jobs waiting.

The F-Bomb Garage completion is getting closer!

July 19, 2016 / Matt Talley / 2 Comments

I was out of town this past week on a work trip to merry ol’ England. I came home to a sweet surprise: I have a new 10,000lb two-post lift installed in the F-Bomb Garage. I got a decent deal on a . Went with the Rotary Revolution RPT10 because there is a local dealer, local support, I got a decent deal on the lift+install, and some experience that some friends and colleagues have had with this and other lifts.

We are getting closer to finally building some stuff inside/voiding warranties/modifying the jeep. My contractor had a foreman out last week to deal with the framing punch-list items: a couple of anchor bolts, some trim, loose siding, a funky corner, and I had him re-install my three windows with the proper flashing tape – I could see light in all the corners. A leaky window after I have stressed the importance of proper installation and showed them what I needed twice would throw me into fits. He also swapped the door trim, but not everything on the list got done and now there is more stuff that needs attention. I have the contractor stopping by to go over it all tonight. Very frustrating to spend this sort of cash and to deal with all the little things over and over.

The electrician is 3 weeks out – everyone is building and remodeling in Seattle and contractors are super swamped, so I am going to concentrate on the outside in the mean time: Paint and gutters as soon as the siding issues are dealt with.

F-Bomb Garage Build Status – Late June

June 24, 2016 / Matt Talley / Leave a comment

Well, we are a month+ behind schedule, but the our garage is coming along:

The roof trusses are up and on: Flat trusses on one side and scissors on the other side to accommodate the 2-post car lift. My contractor is not adding the fire block (insert grumpy face). These both limit the upward spread of a possible fire and add structural rigidity to the wall. Building code in our area is 10′ of wall height before block is “required” and my walls are 10’… I don’t care to build to the minimum of code, I want it done the right way and fire blocks, regardless of wall height, are the right way, so I cut them all to size myself and have employed child labor (The Ruminator) to install the blocks with a driver and some 3” framing screws. I then snapped a line at 5′ on the outside wall and gave him a hammer and a big box of 8d coated nails so he could attach the sheets to the blocks. Not too many shiners – he did a fine job.

The Tyvek vapor barrier wrap is just installed over the front wall so that the garage doors could be hung. Both are 8’X9′ R12 insulated fiberglass doors with no windows and follow the two different ceiling lines on the inside. I put jack-screw openers to the side of the doors so that the space over the doors would be clear. In the pictures below you can see the tiny attic as well – a pull down ladder goes in next week. Overkill, but I put ¾” T&G up there as floor decking and glued/screwed it in place – just ‘cause…

There is Carlisle WIP300 self-sealing roofing underlayment/membrane installed. #30 roof felt is $25 a roll and WIP is $90, but I only needed 5 rolls (4.2 actually). That $325 difference is serious insurance as the WIP can sit out without shingles on it, in case of wind damage an such, and not leak for 6 months. The roof (as well as wall) decking is all CDX (I HATE OSB) and for the small quantity bought for my garage, it is $4 a sheet in difference. $200ish total for sheathing and decking – well worth the price for peace of mind. Roofing is 30 year algae-resistant (important in Seattle) 3 tab architectural shingles that are color matched to our house.

The rest of the wrap, windows, the man-door, and 6″ reveal Hardi lap siding goes on next week.

Garage and House Build/Remodel Update – 6/14/16

June 14, 2016 / Matt Talley / Leave a comment

Garage:

My slab is cured and the densifyer has been applied. really happy with the results – a big thank you to Mr. Mark Flood!!
The ground around my garage slab is all level. I rented a Skid-Steer this past weekend and played in the dirt. Hauled 2 yards of excess over to the neighbors yard to fill some voids and I used the skid-steer to pull out 7 small stumps for her.
Got a call from the builder yesterday and the lumber will be onsite today, Framing starts Wednesday, and trusses are delivered on Friday.
Was asked to move the Honey-bucket so that the lumber would have enough room. Odd, request for my builder to make of the homeowner/customer, but I did it just so there would be no issues with the lumber delivery.
If schedule holds, windows and siding start next Wednesday, and we will be fully in the dry by next Friday.
It looks like I will be installing the windows as I am more particular than the builder about such things.
My son, The Ruminator, will be here for a few weeks and I will get him help me run wire in the garage shell.
My 2-post car lift will be installed by the end of the month

House:

We are finishing up the paint on the main level.
I need to start putting the 1/4 round trim back down.
Bathroom: there is tile work to finish and a mirror to be hung.
Basement remodel is stalled. We had the head manager for the plumbing company out on Saturday after we found even more problems with the work that was done and we have told them: “…in light of the previous and continuing issues, incomplete work, existing damage caused by your subcontractors that we will have to have repaired, and that the basement portion of our remodel has been brought a complete stop, my wife and I do not want a____________ employee, or anyone from a subsidiary company back in our home. We do not wish to continue dealing with _______.” We can’t really touch anything until they agree to this. If they do not, then we can’t do anything as the matter will have to be settled via remediation.

New Garage Slab Has Been Poured!

May 26, 2016 / Matt Talley / Leave a comment

The slab is down and the curing has begun. It is not laser flat – 1/8″ – 1/4″ variance in couple spots in the field, but the pad is smooth. I had the apron poured extra thick (8-9″) brush finished and control joints troweled in. I had a sprinkler on it for the 1st 24 hours and soaker hoses and a poly/burlap wrap was applied just after the slab control joints are cut yesterday morning.

I will let is cure for another 5 days and then apply a densifyer (Ashford) on top. Framing will start next Thursday or Friday. I am so exited that I feel like a pimply teen who just scored a playmate as a prom date!

Continued Plumbing Woes…

May 16, 2016 / Matt Talley / Leave a comment

As mentioned previously, no plumbing permit was pulled for the work in our house and we had to have the BRAND NEW concrete in the basement torn back so that the county inspector can view the pipes and witness a pressure test. When the inspector arrived for the first try, he found 3 additional issues that the plumbing company (big company, one of the oldest in Seattle) had to address. They ended up tearing up more concrete, part of our foundation wall and a 2′ section of my BRAND NEW AND FRESHLY PAINTED drywall!! To add a little insult – I found an empty bottle of wine from a case we imported from France under the trash pile that the first and second crew used in our back yard. Seriously, why would they leave the bottle?! As a ‘Fuck You’..?!

I am unhappy and Stamps-With-Foot is livid. The plumbing company GM came by and was really apologetic and assured us that we would get an update, directly from him, every day. That hasn’t happened and we had no clue that the concrete was being re-poured until my floor re-finisher called and asked if it was OK that he let the concrete guys in.

The new concrete is super wonky and out of level – 1/2″ below the toilet flange and my tile guy wants $800 in addition to his original quote to lay extra floor leveler. To rub salt in the wound, the plumbers sent us a bill for $36,000 dollars. That is not a typo: $36K. The original agreement was for $9200.00 BEFORE they screwed up. I called the GM, sent him all the emails that had gone back and forth and he promised that he would get right back to me. That was a week ago…

Super frustrating. Out of the 7 contractors that have worked on our house remodel and garage build, the plumbing company is the ONLY one that we have had any issue with. Everyone else to this point has been super easy to deal with, lived up to their contract, filed for and received permits, and were clear and concise when small issues came up.

I am not naming names – yet. I am going to see what their next step is. If they try to bill me for another dime, I won’t hesitate in publishing all the details, pictures, e-mails and text messages here on the interwebs – I get 34K hits to my site a week, so… I will be having a long talk with the county concerning a fine request, use Angie’s List remediation, file a BBB complaint, file a WA State L&I claim, and then there is the Consumer Protection Division of the WA Attorney Generals office. That should get things started at least.

New Floors! Reason #451 for me to have OCD

May 11, 2016 / Matt Talley / Leave a comment

We are out of the house and living in the basement like quiet mice this week as our floors are being sanded and refinished. I am both super-stoked and full of trepidation. Let me explain: I love my original oak and hemlock floors. LOVE them! They are beautiful and I want the entire world to see them shimmer in the sunlight. However, I do not want them dirty or dented, or scratched, or even breathed on heavily. That was before they were refinished…

With the new stain (DuraSeal Spice Brown) and 3 coats of hard Swedish Finish, our floors will look even more stunning and I will become a minor dictator of the hardwood – I know this will happen. Woe be the young lady who steps inside the house with heeled shoes on and I almost feel sorry for the first electrician or plumber that comes in wearing muddy boots.

The plan was to get done with painting before we had the floors done, but contractor scheduling and a huge plumbing oops (more on that later), mean that with are 1/2 done with the painting and will continue as of next week. The stain goes on today and they will have to cure until Sunday night.

5/16/16 Update:

Here they are with the last coat on and dry. We are going to let them harden for a few more days before moving and furniture in and bringing in the paint ladders for finish up the last couple of rooms.

Garage Build Update 5/10/16

May 11, 2016 / Matt Talley / Leave a comment

My slab gets poured next Tuesday. All clear from the City for electric trench and slab forms. There were a few issues that I saw last week that needed to be adjusted: There was a rebar oops in the car lift footings that was a serious new-guy error, but instead of calling my contractor to bitch, if just fixed it. Sometimes you are only as good as your worst employee… I picked some rebar and a couple boxes of chairs, looped ties, and put a 12″OC grid down of 1/2′ rebar 3″ from the dirt in the footing hole on Friday evening after work.

I also lifted the existing rebar over the footing holes up with chairs so that it would all be the same level as the welded wire. Hanging it from the wire would force the wire down to the top of the visqueen, negating the use of the material in a large area. I took the extra chairs I had and added them to the welded wire field. I understand that it gets stomped down when they pour and walk the pour, but the trick for me is to limit the amount that stays down. It was $90.00 worth of material and a couple hours of my time and we can work it out as we move forward with the build. The minor details in the grand scheme.

Jeep Trailer

April 28, 2016 / Matt Talley / Leave a comment

I have been posting a LOT about our remodel and garage build in the last couple of months, so I thought I would mix it up and post something not remodel related – mostly not related…

Simple and unassailable fact: A grown man needs access to a truck or a trailer. Since our move back to Seattle from France, I haven’t really had either and have been visiting U-haul for my hauling/dumping/moving/logistic needs, but that is getting both tedious and expensive. I finally bit the bullet and had a trailer made to match my CJ7 Jeep. I had it built because there wasn’t one available retail that matched what all I wanted to do with it – remodel work, hauling heavy loads of dirt and lawn debris, moving, climbing base camp set up, camping, SCA events, hauling firewood, etc. I also wanted a shorter and narrower trailer than the standard 5X8 utility trailer that you can find at the roadside truck and trailer dealers. I wanted it to both look good with the Jeep and I plan on hauling it places that a bigger trailer would be a hindrance so I took the opportunity to have a little customization done to get exactly what I want.

The specs for the new trailer are as follows:

4X6 tube steel frame with extended tongue
Wheel base to match the Jeep’s so that it will track in the same ruts off-road
6 lug 225 wheels with grease zerts right on the hub
Steel load-bearing fenders
More ground clearance than the Jeep for dodging stumps and rocks on trails
Long lasting LED brake and running lights
Spare tire mount
Treated wood bed with 6 D-Ring tie downs
3500lb rated axle, so I can load this thing up with dirt or concrete
Black hardened acrylic paint to match the Jeep
Swing rear gate that is also removable
Welded lip for ramp mounts
Swinging front wheel jack
High replaceable wood sides to match the lines on the jeep.
I will be adding:
1. Uni-strut interior rails on the sides and bed.
2. A triangular tongue tool/storage box.
3. Three Jerry can holders for gas and water on the outside.
4. One propane bottle holder for the grill/heater when camping
5. Load-bearing torsion box cover
6. Removable rack for carrying sheet goods and lumber

I used it the first day I owned it to haul some granite and paint for the bathroom and it will be full of doors and windows on Friday.

House Status and Plumbing Woes

April 27, 2016 / Matt Talley / Leave a comment

We are making progress, abet slowly:

My father-in-law came in this weekend and painted our bathroom and the trim.
I have a new granite vanity top installed – one with the facets centered on the sink.
New reproduction 1920’s glass handles are installed in the vanity. I is not gud counter. I bad at numbers. Didn’t have enough – one short. Store now sold out. Amazon to the rescue.
The drywall should completely done and sanded as of today. The new arches are super sexy!
I modified the kitchen knife rack to fit the new ceramic sharpener. The original was broken by the asshat moving company and Kyocera doesn’t make that size anymore, so I had to drill out its assigned slot. The replacement knives (also the movers…) are now in as well.
Primer will go on the fresh walls tonight and tomorrow night.
I have patched the hole in the tub surround and am waiting for the thin-set mortar to dry so that I can lay the tile.
The new fireplace insert is in and fantastic. I will do the new surround and mantel after the floors are refinished and as I am trimming out the Dining room Ceiling
I met with the garage foundation crew on Monday to go over all the details and they start the ground work today. I am almost giddy with excitement.
My new dutch doors are ready and I will pick them up Friday
The finish carpentry trim-out starts next Monday.
I learned yesterday afternoon that no plumbing permit was pulled and that we might have to demo the concrete in the basement – the new concrete – and the newly laid supply line so that the county inspector can view the pipes. I am super unhappy and will update as I know more.
We are now 4 weeks without a shower or bathroom sinks at the house. I have been a decent human being and fairly understanding up to this point with our plumbing company (big company, one of the oldest in Seattle). I am afraid that they have mistaken nice for weak and unwilling to have a confrontation. That was a miscalculation. Please refer to the Capone quote concerning kindness…
My wife is still medium chipper and hasn’t threatened to leave me yet over the lack of a shower or all the dust, so that is something.
The lavender out front is in bloom and the bees are back, so not all is lost.

Productive weekend with Heavy Equipment – The Old Garage is Down!

April 20, 2016 / Matt Talley / Leave a comment

Super Productive weekend! The old garage came crashing down at about 9:00am on Saturday. All it took was a little push with the forklift at the peak of the roof (I rented an extension boom forklift and a jack-hammer to assist with the garage and old slab destruction) I didn’t take out any fences or cars, but one of our recycling cans took a beating. Within 3 hours it was all loaded into a debris dumpster that I had dropped Friday morning.

The forklift was a little manky to start and keep running. I would overload the hydraulics just a touch and instead of straining, it would die and take 3-5 minutes to restart. The rental company was supposed to bring another one out, but we kept waiting and waiting and just making do as we whittled away at the slab and footing with the jackhammer and forks. While the garage demo was a breeze, the slab was something else altogether. It was super tough, full of quarter-sized aggregate, and 6 inches thick. The footing was +16” deep. I was impressed – I thought it was just some concrete poured over dirt like our basement slab. Nope, this stuff was WAY overbuilt for the tiny carriage house. I could had parked a tank on this thing and it would have been just fine.

With the slab about ¼ split and loaded into a second dumpster, the forklift finally died. After a couple of calls, the rental company brought me a free 18000lb rated track-hoe with a bucket thumb and a pusher blade!!! That translated into an adult sized Tonka toy for my yard. It was 5:30 or so by the time the track hoe was off loaded, so after demonstrating that I wouldn’t run it into a power pole, I parked it and work in the house a little. I try to be a good neighbor and running heavy equipment while it is dinner time in a neighborhood does not endear you to others.

I was up and at it at 8:00 the next morning and the second piece of equipment was so sweet and made the tear out and load go so much faster than I expected! However, it is apparently not a normal occurrence to have a piece of heavy equipment spinning, grunting, working in my little neighborhood. I one point I looked over and I have 5 neighbors standing in the shade of a neighbor’s garage, drinking beer and watching me demo. When I took a potty break, one asked me if I could break something to make it more interesting. Son of a… They had gathered to watch me wreak havoc and as it did not ensue, were somewhat disappointed in me.

After five hours on the track hoe the garage, the whole slab, footings, three tree stumps, and four posts that were set in concrete were loaded and ready for transport. All our water lines, fences, and overhead electrical lines were still intact so it was a successful second and final day of garage demo. My back yard is now a flat spot of dirt and is waiting for a new garage slab.

After playing in the yard for most of the day, Stamps-With-Foot and I went into Seattle and bought all the paint (Benjamin Moore only thank you very much) for the house interior and new fixtures and lights for the main floor bathroom and the laundry room sink. I then cut and installed the new bathroom vanity on the main floor and did a little electrical work in the basement. It was then shower and night-night time, because I have a regular J-O-B to go to every morning.

Story Time – A Small Remodeling Success

April 14, 2016 / Matt Talley / Leave a comment

I am super proud of this door. It is original to our 1928 house and at some point in the last 88 years was removed from a closet or from somewhere in the basement and stuck in the rafters of the garage were it was covered in something near a ¼” layer of dust.

We built a stairwell to the attic and needed a door. I was all ready to source one at Second Use or Earth Wise, but at the last minute, I remembered this beauty and it was the perfect size (28″) I needed. For a jamb, I cut down one we had just pulled out of what is now the dining room. The door knob plate is a perfect match to the others in the house, which is awesome as it would have been impossible to find another one. I did source a vintage lock, brass strike plate, brass screws, and 1920’s glass knob at one of the local vintage building supply shops – both match what we already have all over the house perfectly. The job to install the lock, attach the knob, and mortise in the strike plate took all of 30 minutes and in a year, no one will ever know that the door hasn’t always been there or about its long dormant sleep in the top of the garage.

I am really happy to have this original piece of our home hanging there again. The trim went on to match the other doors and now just needs to be painted. I will do so after painting the walls and with the rest of the trim in the room.

House Remodel Status – 4/12/16

April 12, 2016 / Matt Talley / Leave a comment

Things are moving along with the house and garage, abet very slowly.

I cut the dying vine maple out of the back yard. Its loss made both my wife and I sad – we loved that tree. Part of it I saved for fire wood and part I gave to a local bowl turned I know so he could make beautiful stuff out of the sections that were free of rot.
The new 1″ water supply line is in.
Our basement slab was cut for the new basement bathroom and drains
Concrete floor re-poured.
I have demo’ed part of the basement ceiling, the front bedroom closet and a huge spot in the dining room for the plumbing company to run PexA supply lines and vent pipe.
Plumbing rough-in is going on today and we may have a functioning toilet and kitchen sink by 5:00pm tonight – maybe…
We haven’t had water for a week and have been staying in an air B&B, which has gotten old and expensive.
Basement bathroom framing is going in tomorrow.
The new 1st floor bathroom vanity is done and in place, but the holes in the granite top for one of the facets are cut wrong – it has made me a little crazy…
I have cleared all the stuff out of the way in the back yard and am ready for dumpster deliveries. I am taking the old garage out this coming weekend.
The attic is ready for new floor joists, but still waiting on the engineer’s report to decide what is going in and options for the space. We had wanted a Master Suite up there, but are not sure if it can be done at this point.
Our fireplace insert goes in tomorrow and the new fireplace tools are already there.
The three windows for the garage and two for the house are on order and should be here next week. I just have to find a place to store them.

Some pictures of the current status and the latest progress:

I haven’t had a day off in about three weeks – working my day job, making calls to contractors and supply companies at lunch and on the way to work/home, and working at the house at night and on weekends. I have to work all this week getting ready for the garage demo and all weekend tearing it down. It is all starting to take it toll on me. I’ll get an evening off from remodel this week to attend my new advanced throwing (pottery) class, and will have a two evenings off next week while the drywall goes in, but will be back at it painting the entire weekend of the 23rd and every evening the rest of the week after.

My wife said a little something a few days ago that resonates: “Life is a journey an not the destination, but remodeling is all about the destination. The journey sucks!” I swear if I had to make this decision again, I would have sold the house and bought a McMansion in Maple Valley or an updated mid-century rambler Bellevue and just moved right in in. I have remodeled many homes in the past, but this one and the size/scope are both out of hand and way too ambitious for someone who has a day job. When all is said and done, I do not want to touch a thing in or on the house for YEARS and would like to just enjoy home for a while, sit in the back yard and drink rosé in the summer sun with my wife.

House Remodel Update – Mid-March 2016

March 16, 2016 / Matt Talley / Leave a comment

All of the demolition work is now done and the rebuild has started. Electrical is moving along, the City inspector signed off on the new HVAC (there is a permit inspection for the basement still to come), and all of the rough work on the main floor is complete. The once scary attic is now clean and waiting for a reinforced floor and new spray foam insulation. Some of the trim in the dining room and kitchen is done, specifically the cove/crown on the cabinets. All the doors are now hung, and the Wainscoting in the new dining room is 90% up. I need to finish up around the double door and fill and prime/paint.

Next steps:
Plumbing
Basement bathroom
Finish electrical
Camera system
New window install
Coffered Ceiling in Dining Room
Hutch built in the dining room vestibule
New security system (Hate ADT)
New drywall main floor
New main bathroom vanity
New Kitchen floor (both decision and install)
Finish trim out
balcony install
Attic floor install – pending engineering review
Attic and wine cave insulation – yes, we are that bourgeoisie
New basement door and back door – both will be dutch doors
Main floor hardwood floor refinish
Basement drywall finish and paint – pending city inspection
New carpet in Basement
Garage build

House Remodel Update – February 2016

March 1, 2016 / Matt Talley / 1 Comment

Making lemonade out of lemons… I have mentioned an issue we found with our house and how we had to tear out walls to fix things. Well, we took the opportunity to do some long wanted remodeling since the place was already torn apart. We are insulating the exterior walls, re-plumbing the whole house, re-wiring to remove the old knob&tube still left in the attic, remaking the Stairs of Doom into something that people won’t fall down, tearing out the 30% efficient oil heater and adding a heat-pump, adding attic access, making a dining room, putting in arched doorways, bringing in more light, and adding lots of period-appropriate detail. Below are some of our in-progress updates after three weeks of demo, with the “WAS” pictures first.

The stairwell and chimney tear out – before and during:

The 1942 oil heater removal – before and during:

The back-bedroom transformation into the dining room – before and during:

The Attic – Before and during:

Project built for my truck – the one I sold 2+ years ago…

February 26, 2016 / Matt Talley / Leave a comment

So this post is a little bit delayed. It has been sitting in my draft folder for almost three years. It may be time to publish it…

My 2011 Nissan truck had a very cool really system for holding gear in the back of the truck: an extruded aluminum track along the side rails and two in the bottom of the bed. They made sliding tie points for use on the rails that were great for some stuff, but I needed more to really strap a load down when hauling brush and debris to the dump. I looked at buying more from Nissan, but they wanted >$200 for the set of 4. No thank you! I did what any engineer would do: Designed my own and went into the machine shop and made a few prototypes out of aluminum scrap that was laying about.

I made one version with an offset bend for the side walls and the other with a 90 degree bend for use on the bed floor rails. I might change the latter a little as I found that while a standard small ratchet strap or rope had no effect on it, if I used a large ratcheting load strap, I could bend it.

I also found that the rails were the exact same dimension as commercial uni-strut (standardized formed metal structural system used in electrical, plumbing and HVAC installations for structural support). Parts are available at all the Big-Box home stores and I was able to pick up a bag of 10 threaded nut plates for ~$8.00 and 1/4″ hex-head bolts of various lengths for another $5.00. The prototypes worked so well that I made more and with my hold down solution and the OEM tie points, I could haul anything I really wanted and make sure it was securely fastened: Refrigerators, lumber, yard trimmings, fire wood, trash, you name it.

I added the side walls of a wooden shipping crate to my new truck bed system, bolted directly to the side rails using the uni-strut nut plates and then strapped over the whole load with 2″ straps. I found the installation took me 15 minutes from start to finish and it made dump and material runs super simple. It was even faster to remove and store in the garage so I didn’t drive around town like I worked for Sanford & Son.

I sold the truck in December of 2013, but I kept the OEM Nissan tie points as well as the ones I made. I will use them on my next truck, or possibly my next trailer. I will just install uni-strut on the sides and on the deck and I will make it that much more useful.

What I Want Thursday – Febuary 2016 Edition

February 25, 2016 / Matt Talley / Leave a comment

Below are the things that I really want and that are present for me today:

More time with my children and family.
I want to stick to my diet and workout schedule and not fall off the wagon and back into the cookie/café Mocha/lethargic/big-belly/back-hurting abyss.
For the house remodel to be done
For my Garage build to be 100% and my new lift and tools installed and waiting for me.
Growler or two from West Seattle Brewing Co.
Letters – written on actual paper – from my kids.
A longboard skateboard
I could stand a new Kindle
A handsome tweed vest – or two
Brown Redwing Engineer’s boots
Huge antique pattern lathe found in a barn or a PM4224 with all the add-ons.
A pair of 1/2 round and a pair of Snipe Bill molding planes
A 1.75 – 3Hp SawStop Table Saw
One fine compound sliding miter saw
>8″ joiner/planer
A Grizzly G0752 Benchtop Lathe and G0801 Vertical Mill

If you want to hear God laugh, tell him what your plans are…

February 12, 2016 / Matt Talley / Leave a comment

As mentioned a few weeks ago, we hit a snag on the garage build. Super frustrating. There is some stuff in the house that takes precident – they just have to happen and happen right now. Thankfully, we are in a place to take care of it, but my dream shop has been pushed a couple of months. That hasn’t stopped me from getting everything prepped though. I have completely cleared out my current GROP and moved all the innards into storage for the duration of our build/re-build. A few things like ladders and yard tools are left, but after giving away an entire trailer load of scrap lumber and plywood it is all open space. It hurts a little that the cleanest my garage shop has ever been is right before I tear it down to built a new one…

The other day, I had to do a little fiberglass repair on the Jeep top and swap out my floor-mounted headlight dimmer switch. Not super a fun/sexy mod, but taking the door off made it easy – ish. I will not be bright-lighting folks for my entire commute anymore. It was nice to have a dry spot to work during a Seattle winter. Also, this was the only time in 6+ years that a vehicle had been in it.

We had to start the house remodel before the garage and start in the rear bedroom (NW corner of the house). The interior walls had to come out to repair an issue(s). After we take care of the repairs, a new arch will lead into the kitchen, there will be a 4′ French door with a 12″ balcony looking out into the back yard, and we will have wainscoting up to 68″ and a coffered ceiling in what was the back bedroom and what will be the new dining room. Here are some shots before the full wall removal, some replacement studs and new headers.

The basement stairs are also in need of replacement and will be taken out and rebuilt next week. The new HVAC will go in the week after. It has been and will continue to be a test of our resolve and patience.

Mid-month Update – Jan 2016

January 16, 2016 / Matt Talley / 3 Comments

We have a LOT going on around La Maison du Talley and I have had 12 texts and e-mails about different stuff, so here is an overall update:

We have our garage permit!! I did a victory dance when our contractor sent me the mail.
Building is on hold for a bit though as we have an issue inside the house that has to be dealt with before ANYTHING else. Looks like it will not be cheap, but it has to happen right now.
The old garage will be clear as of tomorrow and ready for demo, but that has to wait on the house as well. Dammit!
Still don’t have an HVAC contractor for the house – 2 that can’t do the work until summer, one that won’t send a written quote, one in the running, one contractor that sent me a quote that is for almost the same amount as the entire garage build & double the next closest bid, and another that I am on the fence about – mixed reviews, but good pricing.
We finally had the new hot tub cover delivered and it is fantastic: light, ridged, perfect color… Stamps-With-Foot is stoked.
Finished the movie (shot with a GoPro) about our cross country jeep trip, but YouTube blocked the audio because I used a snip-it of Hendrix’s Voodoo Chile, which is uber verboten. I will edit it for sound this weekend – maybe some rockin’ blues and re-post with links.
Sticking to my workout schedule and wrist is 90%+ healed from the break. My gym has hung heavy bags and I want to start smackin’ them, but will wait for wrist to heal 100%.
Still chubby 🙁
Jeep is running great. Front window seal is leaking a touch and need to unstick the odometer. She will be getting an oil change and fluid check this weekend.
The puppies/monsters are good, but they long for the Toulousian sunshine.
I made three more bowls in pottery class and have decided to make matching food and water bowls for the puppies as my first project.
My J-O-B is great.
Really happy to be back in Seattle.
Our furniture won’t be here until February. Customs issues…
Nana is good, ~~her Seahawks are good~~. She wrangled 90 days of free HBO from Comcast, so she is happy.
Stamps-With-Foot is happy to be going back to work.
Looking forward to Date Night with my wife tonight at an awesome hole-in-wall Greek place in West Seattle.

A Modern Wedding Arch Build

September 7, 2015 / Matt Talley / 2 Comments

My Brother-in-law and his then fiancé decided early this year that they would visit us in France and while here have a little wedding… Stamps-With-Foot freaked out and turned on the ‘Big-Sister Action Mode’ setting on her internal processor. She quickly organized the shipping logistics, helped with transportation, found lodging for all, located a restaurant for the reception, sourced champagne and wine, etc… I had two jobs. 1. Make sure the yard was a perfect/green as possible. 2. The wedding arch. It was implied that fvcking up either would have dire consequences.

I sketched a bunch of ideas up in my notebook and talked to the bride a little about her ideas and wants over Skype and e-mail. I had planned on doing a big natural arch with the pruned limbs of 70-100 apple and plum trees, but my source burned the branches before I could get to them. I went with Plan B and drew up a modern interpretation of a classic white wedding arch. The bride said ‘go’ and it was on.

The arch is made from 4 meter (13.14’) X 1.25”X1.25” pine sticks that I sourced at the local lumber yard. They are sold for fencing trim and to cut foundation stakes from. I painted each with two coats of white paint and the bottom is held together with 10mm all-thread. The top is screwed one stick to another – everything is pre-drilled.

All was finished one day before the ceremony with the bride’s brother, cousin and sister helped out with the final painting (taking turns with the one roller) and installation. I really couldn’t finished in time without their help and support.

The bride and groom seemed very happy with the work and allowed me to even officiate their wedding. Honored does not even begin to describe my feelings about being included in this way. It was my first time getting to use my Ordained Minister credentials and I am SO adding wedding officiate to my resume! I will add some pictures and wedding details later – after the bride has had a chance to flood her social media accounts with pictures to her little heart’s content. Out-doing of being faster than the bride to share “her day” with the world would be bad juju…

As you can see from the pictures – I succeeded in Job 1 as well: Greenest yard in Toulouse:-)

Updated Materials list and build instructions:

Material:
2 – 3/8”X3’ sections of “all-thread” (Home Depot or Lowes)
4 – 3/8” nuts
4 – 3/8” washers
40-45 – 1”X1”X12’ garden stakes/lathe
These can be substituted by ripping down 2X6 or 2×8 boards on a table saw. The finished stakes will be 1.5”X1”
100ish 1.5” deck screws
White paint with primer

Tools:
Two saw horses or cinder blocks
Paint brush
Hand saw or circle saw
4 – hand clamps
hammer
Two battery drills
Socket set
Combination wrench set
½” drill bit
1/8” Drill bit for pilot holes
Two helpers that have not started drinking or toking

Directions:
1. Check with the bride and get her sign off before any purchase of build is started.
2. After acquiring your stakes or making them, leave them bundled or tie them with packing string. If you removed them from the bundle before assemble, they are likely to warp.
3. Paint all available sides with thick coat of white paint
4. Put on second thick coat
a. You can let you helpers do this and it does not have to be a sober day project. It is better if they are altered. They will paint each other. It will happen.
5. Let paint dry overnight and out of the weather
6. Cut the bundle, retie the stakes with packing string with the unpainted side out.
7. Drill ½” hole in the bottoms of all the stakes about 1/2” from the bottom and on the centerline.
8. Measure up from the top of that hole ½ to 1” and cut what are now your spacer blocks off.
9. Drill ½” hole in the new bottoms of all the stakes about 1/2” from the bottom and on the centerline. Or you can drill both holes in all your stakes at the same time and cut between them.
10. Figure out the spacing of the “floor” of you arch by standing bride, groom and officiate up and seeing what that width is.
11. Add 18”-24” on each side. 10’ is great normally, but you decide.
12. Move all material and tools to the spot where the arch will be erected.
13. Mark out you width on a spate stake and place it in your desired location.
14. Double check with the bride if this is what she wants.
15. Cut your now fully painted bundles
16. Lay you first two sections and have them cross with 6-10” left at the top.
17. Clamp the bottoms to the stake, leaving the ½” hole uncovered.
18. Check the top again and if correct, drill a pilot hole in the top over-lapping stake.
a. This is super important! ALL screw holes must be pre drilled or you will split the wood.
b. This will piss the bride off and you will have a bad day.
19. Insert the all-tread into the bottom hole and put the washer on from the front (under), followed by the nut. Just tighten till the threads are covered on the end.
a. Have one of you sober helpers hold this all-thread until the 5th or 6th course of stakes are laid. If not, then you will split the stakes at the bottom and the bride will find out. You will get into trouble.
20. Slide a spacer block on after each stake is put on.
21. With your sober helpers holding the All-thread, lower another stake into place.
22. You will want to lower both ends at the same time or something will crack.
23. Move to the peak and space the second set.
a. I used a scrap bit of stake so that I would have 1” stakes and 1” spacing between, but if I had to do it again, I would use a 1+1/2” block (skinny part of a 2X4) as the spacer. It makes for a more dramatic fan when done.
24. Drill pilot hold and repeat step 17 – 22 until you have about ½” left on the end of the all thread.
25. Assembly is easier from inside the arch.
26. At some point your sober helpers will start looking for a cooler or a lighter. Do not let them wander off. Trust me.
27. Put on your next par of washers and nuts and hand tighten.
28. Use second set of hand clamps to put another stake across the bottom of the back of the arch. This and the one on front will be removed after you stand it up, but they will help keep everything ridged until it is up.
29. Cut four 18-24” sections of a spare stake and either have a still sober helper sharpen the end (the proper instruction is “like a Vampire stake…”) or you can cut it at an angle with a hand saw
30. Now with all available help stand the arch up, gently.
31. Have the bride sign off on the build and location. Not the bride’s mother. The lady in white herself. Seriously.
32. After you have the OK, then carefully insert a “vampire stake” between two stakes and hammer it into the ground until there is 2” sticking up above the side of the arch.
a. Don’t screw this up and hit the arch with the hammer. You might break something and then you will have to go into witness protection or move to Bulgaria.
33. Predrill a hole in the stake and arch and attach the two.
34. Do this on all four corners.
35. Remove the clamped on temporary bottom sections.
36. You may now release the helpers to become a chemically altered as they so desire.
37. Touch up any or the missing paint from the cords or the assembly.
38. Bask in glory of your accomplishment with a cold malted beverage.

Driven Outside

Category: Projects at Home