Hmmm… I am a thirty-something short, sarcastic, oft tenderhearted, tattooed, serious skeptic. I have more bikes than one person should and can now and again be seen riding my 1895 Penny-Farthing around the neighborhood just for kicks. I read 30-40 mostly non-fiction books a year, am a trivia-machine, and will go 20 miles out of my way to prove a point. I believe in a woman’s right to choose, liberal politics, the Right to bear arms, and affordable health insurance for everyone. I feel that one should be free to love whomever they choose and as long as no one is being hurt or abused, what you do in the privacy of your own home and on your own time is your business. I have always thought of myself as a C&E Catholic, but have lately been drawn to the Unitarian system of thought/belief.
I love my wife and two children and do not want to trade any of the three: The grass is greener on MY side. We have lived all over the world and have chosen West Seattle, WA as our home after two years in Germany.
Stuff about me:
- I no longer remember anyone’s phone number – my phone does it for me.
- I hate cats in the house – outside they are OK.
- Sarcasm is just one service that I offer to the public at large.
- Know in my heart that Popeye’s is better than KFC.
- I am mildly dyslexic – B, P, & D all look the same if I am writing too fast or am tired.
- During college I was almost expelled for proving that a professor was biased.
- I don’t need 8 hours of sleep, 5 works for me usually.
- My wife and met at a St. Paddy’s day party, playing pool.
- I can write backwards, upside-down and slowly upside-down and backwards at the same time.
- An overdue library book showed up on my credit when I was trying to buy a house – 10 years after the due date.
- I mix my cereal together in the morning and refuse to drink the left over milk.
- My spelling is atrocious.
- I am allergic to thistle.
- I think Carrot Top is funny and have seen him live twice. You may now cast stones.
- Quoting historical figures and journal articles while arguing a to prove my point is a crutch for me.
- Pushy people piss me off.
- I really like silver and stainless steel cuff-links.
- I have a reproduction 1895 Penny-Farthing that I ride in the streets from time to time.
- I love to read and I turn to my books if depressed.
- Really like wife.
- Someday I will be old enough to smoke a pipe and not look like a douche.
- I could once play the violin well, but that ability is now lost.
- My first vehicle was a 1971 GMC truck.
- My children make me very proud, even when they are being pains in the ass.
- Favorite comic strips are Get Fuzzy, Dilbert, and Yehuda Moon.
- My family has been in Texas since the 1840’s, but I choose to live elsewhere – I hate the heat and snakes.
- I am a coffee and beer snob.
- CNN hooks me every time; I am such a news junkie.
- I think of my departed father almost every single day.
- Sometimes I show signs of mild ADD and jump from project to project.
- I once got fired from a job for going home for lunch every day and not eating with my coworkers – true story.
- If a restaurant is too cheap to have Coke-Cola on tap, then no, Pepsi is defiantly no OK!
- My Dad bought my first real bike, a chrome Raleigh BMX, with a bonus check he got from work.
- I wish I could build furniture and cabinets for a living.
- My brain is great at remembering trivia, but poor in remembering where my keys are.
- Paying for my children’s college education is something that I feel I owe to them in life.
- My favorite color is Cobalt blue.
- I hate shopping at Wal-Mart and haven’t done so in years.
- My favorite charity in Heifer International.
- I have a bone spur on my left heal and an “old man hip”.
- I am handy and hyper-mechanically inclined. I have “the knack”…
- I am one hell of a good shot – competition good with both rifle and pistol.
- My hair is not falling out; it is just migrating to other parts of my body.
- I don’t gamble. Not because of any possible religious or moral reasons, I just don’t like giving money away.
- I am working on three books right now, but they will probably go unpublished.
- My tonsils were taken out when I was 2 and I have disliked ice-cream ever since.
- I am the only left politically leaning person in my immediate family.
- I am a bit of a cyber hoarder.
- I prefer AWD and 4X4 vehicals.
- Advanced math was the subject in school that I had to struggle with the most.
- For Father’s Day 2009 my wife gave me a weekend subscription to the Seattle Times -again, I am a news junkie.
- There are over 1500 books in my home and not enough shelves.
- I can be ungracious winner – the dance of “I won in your house…” has actually happened.
- Sometimes I wish Matt were my legal name.
- There is not enough time in my life to pursue all my athletic hobbies to the point that I could get truly skillful at any of them.
- I once stole cookies from my children while they slept and now neither trusts me in the presence of chocolate chips.
- Napping in my hammock on a summer Saturday afternoon after cutting the grass in a great joy in life.
- I have been in-love two times in my life.
- Checking the mailbox is one of my little joys in life.
- I have a super-potty mouth.
- I want to take an extended vacation to Australia and New Zealand.
- Fish stop biting when I show up with a rod and reel. A trait that I have passed on to my son.
- I love Port and once “accidentally” drank two bottles all by myself.
- Solid wood Art Nouveau furniture makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
- I need glasses to drive but not to read.
- During college, I designed and built two bookcases that were hidden doors for people on commission.
- My favorite uncle was a builder and was the first adult, apart from my parents, that made me feel of value.
- I “read” my first playboy in the second grade – It belonged to Chris Larson’s older brother also named Matt.
- When I was 8, I was stung by a Portuguese Man o’ War in Galveston – fvck it hurt!!
- I was a super accident – my mom had her tubes tied years before I was born.
- Board games are the SHIT!!
- I am a .308 and .45 man.
- I had two Great, Great grandfathers who fought on opposite sides of the Civil War.
- Pigeons are rats with wings. I hate them and ate one out of spite when I saw it on a menu in Morocco.
- I have been drawing house plans since I was 12 years old.
- There are 12 pairs of sport-specific shoes in my closet.
- Every year on my birthday I wake up at the time of my birth, 4:17am, and call my mom to say ‘Thank you.’
- Since birth, I have had over 45 home addresses.
- I have been an avid runner since I was 14 and love trail running the most.
- Hate snakes. Hate.
- I have rock climbed all over the world, but now prefer local or semi-local crags and day trips with friends.
- My relationship with my sister is not as close as I wish it were.
- Triple Grande 1 pump mocha: It a frown into a smile every time.
- I used to drink at a dive bar that John Wayne went to in Newport Beach.
- My wife is a better person than I am.
- I don’t hunt any more for personal ethical reasons – I am just not that hungry.
- My father left me his tools when he passed away.
- Chocolate chip cookies and cold milk will be served at my wake.
- My penmanship is terrible, but I have a bold and interesting signature.
- In college, I gained 25lbs. one semester drinking cheap beer, eating free pizza, and playing Saga Genesis every night.
- I am a doodler.
- Favorite booze is tiquila – partial to Don Julio.
- Gardening has become a recent fascination for me.
- I fairly heavily tattooed, but don’t particularly like being poked with needles.
- I would love to be a history teacher.
- My wedding ring is made from the same steel as industrial ball bearings and would be impossible to cut off my finger if there was ever an accident.
- I am partial to boobies.
- My least favorite part of my J-O-B is filling out expense reports.
- My worst fear is to die young not know my children as adults.
- Flip-flops rank high on my list of the good things in life.
- My work shirts are pressed with light starch and I prefer French cuffs.
- As a child I was constantly into some sort of serious mischief – there was a fire in the barn incident.
- My blog is an outlet for my ego, as is everyone’s personal website.
- I am a huge cynic and take pride in that fact.
- There are things I did as a teen that I look back on with shame.
- I once worked as a research librarian for an international coin/money museum.
- I have a low tolerance for chemicals – Fabreeze puts a serious hurtin’ on me.
- The worst job I ever had was working in a sawmill. I lived in a swamp and had no car at the time…
- Moving to Germany was both a financial disaster and a financial blessing for my wife and I.
- I REALLY like Smartwool socks.
- I married the worst girlfriend I ever had. We were divorced soon thereafter.
- No matter what life throws at me now, I have been poorer, colder, hungrier, hotter, more scared in the past and I will get through it.
- Arguing about the Bible, the history of the book itself, with ultra religious conservatives brings me great joy.
- My shoes and belt have to match.
- I am a list maker – imagine that.
- Recycling is mandatory at my house.
- I realized around the age of 25, after 20 years of riding, that I was too stupid to own a motorcycle
- Continental Airlines is my least favorite carrier – Fvckers.
- For my birthday, I give my wife a list of things I would like – cuts down on the ties and toe socks.
- I really like blue or gray t-shirts the best. Not a fan of black t’s.
1. Know my children as adults
2. Publish two non-fiction books
3. Have a photo published in National Geographic
4. Own a B&B
5. Hold five+ patents
6. Build furniture and cabinets for income and joy
7. Pay for 100% of my kid’s college tution
8. Build a wooden boat
9. Retire at 55
10. Paint something amazing
11. Have articles published in Monocle and The New Yorker
12. Pay off the House
13. Live in southern France
14. Train an Espalier apple tree
15. Teach history
16. Write two novels
17. Live on a boat
18. Climb in the Kita Alps of Japan
19. Have a winter home someplace warm and sunny
20. Own my own successful business
21. Walk the streets on Venice at sunrise
22. Change at least one child’s life for the better
23. Sail across the Atlantic
24. See my Mother want for nothing
25. Love the same woman for the rest of my life
26. Own rental property
27. Become the man my father wanted me to be
28. Cycle from Canada to Mexico
29. Paddle the waters of Hawaii
30. See my grandchildren succeed in life
31. Pass from this earth smiling
32. Leave my wife and children financially and emotionally secure