About me: I am 50-ish, short-ish, sarcastic, oft tenderhearted, tattooed, and a serious skeptic.  I am an engineer by profession, a joiner and a cabinet maker in my soul. Additions to the list of things that could define me are: Maker, blacksmith, fabricator, historian, designer, CAD monkey, veteran, climber, runner, blogger, grandfather, writer, cyclist, son, marksman, storyteller, photographer, husband, father, basement tinkerer, reader, coffee/beer snob, salad dodger, serial warranty voider, and practical joker.

I have more bikes than one person should, read 20-30 mostly non-fiction books a year, am a trivia-machine, and will go 20 miles out of my way to prove a point when I KNOW I am right – sometimes to my own detriment.  I believe in a woman’s right to choose, moderate politics, the right to keep & bear arms, and affordable health insurance for everyone.  I feel that one should be free to love whomever they choose and as long as no one is being hurt or abused – what you do in the privacy of your own home and on your own time is your business.  I have always thought of myself as a lapsed C&E Catholic, but have lately been drawn to the Unitarian system of thought/belief and am more of a Deist in the Jeffersonian vain.

I love my wife and three children and do not want to trade any of the four: The grass is greener on MY side.  We have lived in Switzerland, France, and Germany, but now live full-time in Eugene, OR in a 1970s modern house – which is quite the departure form the restored and completely modernized 1928 craftsman bungalow we owned in Seattle for 13 years.

Stuff about me:

1. I no longer remember anyone’s phone number – my phone does it for me.
2. Learning German has destroyed my French Language skills – I now officially suck at speaking French
3. I hate cats in the house – outside they are OK.  Great for barns!
4. Sarcasm is just one service that I offer to the public at large.
5. Know in my heart that Popeye’s is better than KFC.
6. Long for a simpler life with less crap.
7. I am mildly dyslexic – B, P, & D all look the same if I am writing too fast or am tired.
8. During college I was almost expelled for proving that a professor was biased.
9. I don’t need 8 hours of sleep, 5-6 works for me usually.
10. My wife and met at a St. Paddy’s day party, playing pool.
11. My favorite shoes, dress anyway, are wingtip brogues.  I have 9 pair of them.
12. I can write backwards, upside-down and slowly upside-down and backwards at the same time.
13. An overdue library book showed up on my credit when I was trying to buy a house – 10 years after the due date.
14. I mix my cereal together in the morning and refuse to drink the left over milk.
15. My spelling is atrocious.
16. I am allergic to thistle.
17. I think Carrot Top is funny and have seen him live twice. You may now cast stones.
18. Quoting historical figures and journal articles while arguing a to prove my point is one of my quirks.
19. Pushy people piss me off.
20. I really like silver and stainless steel cuff-links.
21. I have a reproduction 1895 Penny-Farthing that I ride in the streets from time to time.
22. I love to read and I turn to my books if lonely or depressed.
23. Really like my wife – like marooned on a desert Island together type of like.
24. Someday I will be old enough to smoke a pipe and not look like a douche.
25. I could once play the violin well, but that ability is now lost.
26. My first vehicle was a 1971 GMC truck.
27. I play the Ukulele and Banjo fairly well, but I suck at playing the guitar and Mandolin.
28. My children make me very proud, even when they are being pains in the ass.
29. Favorite comic strips are Get Fuzzy, Calvin&Hobbes, Dilbert, Strange Planet, and Yehuda Moon.
30. My family has been in Texas since the 1840’s, but I live elsewhere – I hate the heat, ticks, and snakes.
31. I am a coffee, wine, and beer snob.
32. I did not know of or meet my biological father until I was 48.  I was as much of a surprise to him! 
33. We were in contact and built a relationship before his passing that meant a lot to me.
34. I am such a news junkie.
35. A proud member of the American Legion
36. I think of my departed dad, the man who raised me, and namesake almost every single day.  He is missed.
37. Sometimes I show signs of mild ADHD and jump from project to project.
38. I once got fired from a job in college for going home for lunch every day and not eating with my coworkers – true story.
39. If a restaurant is too cheap to have Coke-Cola on tap, then no, Pepsi is definitely not OK.
40. My Dad bought my first real bike, a chrome Raleigh BMX, with a bonus check he got from work.  It was 1/4 of the check and that act has guided me and taught me who I want to be with my wife and my own children.
41. I wish I built furniture and cabinets full-time for a living – covered in man-glitter everyday and wearing overalls.
42. I collect KLM Delft Blue houses – not coins or stamps or comics or records.  Delft Gin Bottles in the shape of Amsterdam canal row houses. It is a disease.
43. My brain is great at remembering trivia, but poor in remembering where my keys are.
44. Football Team: Pittsburgh Steelers and have a vintage 1981 Lynn Swann #88 Jersey and a framed 1976 Gimble’s Terrible Towel.  
45. Baseball: Astros/Mariners, except when they play one-another and then Astros.  Love going to games, but do not watch baseball (or football for that matter) on TV
46. Paying for my children’s college education is something that I feel I owe to them in life.
47. My favorite color is cobalt blue.
48. I am a Masonic Lewis
49. Will watch FC Basel, FC St. Pauli, Manchester United, and Barcelona if they are on TV, but only casually.
50. I hate shopping at Wal-Mart and haven’t done so in years.
51. My favorite charity in Heifer International.
52. I have a bone spur on my left heal and an “old man hip”.
53. I am handy and hyper-mechanically inclined.  I have “the knack”…
54. I am a .45 and .308 bolt action man (Pre-64′ m70).  Not an AR guy.
55. No hockey or basketball team affiliation
56. My hair is not falling out; it is just migrating to other parts of my body.
57. I don’t gamble.  Not because of any possible religious or moral reasoning, I just REALLY suck at it and don’t like giving money away.
58. I am working on two books right now, I am hoping to publish at least 1 in the next couple of years.
59. My tonsils were taken out when I was 2 and I have disliked ice-cream ever since.
60. My last child was born just before my 50th birthday. 
61. I am the only moderate to left politically leaning person in my immediate family.
62. I am a bit of a cyber hoarder.
63. I forever have too many projects at home up in the air at the same time.
64. I prefer AWD and 4X4 vehicles:  Subaru’s, Jeeps, VWs, and Toyota trucks.
65. Advanced math was the subject in school that I had to struggle with the most.
66. There are over 1900+ books in my home(s) and never enough shelves.
67. I can be ungracious board-game winner – the dance of “I won in your house…” has actually happened.
68. Sometimes I wish Matt were my legal name – It is the diminutive of my middle name and what I have always been called.
69. There is not enough time in my life to pursue all my athletic hobbies to the point that I could get truly skillful at any of them.
70. I once stole cookies from my children while they slept and now neither trusts me in the presence of chocolate chips.
71. Napping in my hammock on a summer Saturday afternoon after cutting the grass in a great joy in life.
72. I have been in-love two times in my life.
73. Checking the mailbox is one of my little joys.
74. I have a super-potty mouth and a large vocabulary – the combo makes for interesting conversation.
75. I want to take an extended vacation to Australia and New Zealand.
76. Fish stop biting when I show up with a rod and reel.  A trait that I have passed on to my son.
77. I love Port wine and once “accidentally” drank two bottles all by myself – I hurt for two days afterward.
78. Solid wood Art Nouveau furniture makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
79. I need glasses to drive but not to read – yet.
80. I love woodworking hand tools – old molding planes and chisels especially.
81. During college, I designed and built two bookcases that were hidden doors for people on commission.
82. My favorite uncle was a builder and was the first adult, apart from my parents, that made me feel of value.
83. I “read” my first playboy in the second grade – It belonged to Chris Larson’s older brother – also named Matt.
84. When I was 8, I was stung by a Portuguese Man o’ War in Galveston, TX – fvck it hurt!!
85. I was a super accident – my mom had her tubes tied years before I was born.
86. German board games are the SHIZNIT!!
87. I own a 1986 CJ7 Jeep that used to belong to my best friend who was also the best man at my wedding.
88. I had two maternal Great, Great grandfathers who fought on opposite sides of the Civil War in many of the same battles.
89. Pigeons are rats with wings.  I hate them and once ate one out of spite when I saw it on a menu in Morocco.
90. I have been drawing house plans since I was 12 years old.
91. There are 12 pairs of sport-specific shoes in my closet.
92. Every year on my birthday I wake up at the time of my birth, 4:17am, and call my mom to say ‘Thank you.’
93. Since birth, I have had over 51 home addresses.
94. I have been an avid runner since I was 14 and love trail running the most.
95. Hate snakes.  Hate!
96. I have rock climbed all over the world, but now prefer local or semi-local crags and day trips with friends.
97. My relationship with my sister is not as close as I wish it were.
98. Triple Tall 1-pump mocha:  It turns a frown into a smile every time.
99. I used to drink at a dive bar that John Wayne went to in Newport Beach.
100. My wife is a better person than I am.
101. I don’t hunt any more for personal ethical reasons & I am just not that hungry.
102. My father left me his tools when he passed away and they have fed me and my children many times.
103. Chocolate chip cookies and cold milk will be served at my wake.
104. While my penmanship is terrible, but I have a bold and interesting signature.
105. In college, I gained 25lbs. one semester drinking cheap beer, eating free pizza, and playing Saga Genesis every night.
106. I am a doodler.
107. Favorite booze is tequila – am partial to Don Julio 1942 Anejo.
108. Intensive gardening has become a great fascination for me.
109. I fairly heavily tattooed, but don’t particularly like being poked with needles.
110. I would love to be a history teacher.
111. My wedding ring is made from the same steel as industrial ball bearings and would be impossible to cut off my finger if there was ever an accident, but I wear a silicone ring in the shop.
112. I am partial to overalls.  I have a lot of them and wear them when ever working in the shop or in socially acceptable situations.
113. My least favorite part of my J-O-B is filling out expense reports.
114. My worst fear is to die young not know my children as adults.
115. Flip-flops rank high on my list of the good things in life.
116. I have a thing for fruit trees – there were 7 in my tiny Seattle yard.
117. My dress shirts are pressed with light starch and I prefer French cuffs.
118. As a child I was constantly into some sort of serious mischief – there was a fire in the barn/garage incident.
119. My blog is an outlet for my ego, as is everyone’s personal website.
120. I am a huge cynic and take pride in that fact.
121. There are things I did as a teen that I look back on with shame.
122. I once worked as a research librarian for an international coin/money museum.
123. I have a low tolerance for chemicals – Even Fabreeze puts a serious hurtin’ on me.
124. The worst job I ever had was working in a sawmill.  I lived in a swamp and had no car or truck at the time…
125. Moving to Germany was both a financial disaster and a financial blessing for my wife and I.
126. I REALLY like Smartwool socks.
127. I married the worst girlfriend I ever had.  We were divorced soon thereafter.
128. No matter what life throws at me now, I have been poorer, colder, hungrier, hotter, more scared in the past and I will get through it.
129. Arguing about the Bible, the history of the book itself, with ultra religious conservatives brings me great joy.
130. My shoes and belt have to match.
131. I am a list maker – imagine that.
132. Recycling is mandatory at my house.
133. I realized around the age of 25, after 20 years of riding, that I was too stupid to own a motorcycle
134. Continental Airlines was my least favorite carrier of all time  – Fvckers.  Now it is United.
135. For my birthday, I give my wife a list of things I would like – cuts down on the ties and toe socks.
136. I really like blue or gray t-shirts the best.  Not a fan of black t’s.

Bucket List:

1. Know my children as adults
2. Publish two non-fiction books
3. Have a photo published in National Geographic
4. Own a hobby farm
5. Hold five+ patents
6. Build furniture and cabinets for income and joy as my last job.
7. Pay for my kid’s college tuition
8. Build a wooden sail boat
9. Retire for working for someone else at 55
10. Paint something amazing
11. Have articles published in Monocle and The New Yorker
12. Pay off our house early
13. Live in southern France DONE!
14. Train an Espalier apple tree Done
15. Teach history
16. Write and publish at least two novels
17. Live on a boat
18. Climb/trek in the Kita Alps of Japan
19. Have a winter home someplace warm and sunny
20. Own my own successful business
21. Walk the streets on Venice at sunrise
22. Change at least one child’s life in the developing world for the better
23. Sail across the Atlantic
24. See my mother want for nothing
25. Love the same woman for the rest of my life
26. Own more rental property
27. Become the man my dad wanted me to be
28. Cycle from Canada to Mexico
29. Paddle the waters of Hawaii
30. See my grandchildren succeed in life
31. Pass from this earth smiling
32. Leave my wife and children financially and emotionally secure