My wife has a fantastic sense of humor. It is dry and witty and she comes up with fantastic one-liners!  She is HILARIOUS without forcing it. Her humor is natural, unpracticed, and off the cuff. What comes up, comes out.

This is the sixth, though certainly not the last, installment of Things My Wife Has Said:

• I found this amazing piece of valuable art at a resell shop for $6. I was in shock a little that they did not know what it was.  I said nothing, paid for it, and practically ran home to show to my wife. She picked it up and marveled at my find then started slowly for the basement stairs, holding it gingerly and looking down at it almost lovingly. I asked her where she was going with the art and she replied like it was a normal statement on a normal day, “I am taking it down to put with the rest of my Dragon’s hoard”. My own tiny version of Smoug the Dragon…

• As we were going to sleep one night, my wife was already in bed and half asleep when I walked into the room. I heard her say, “You have to take the dogs out, I’m not wearing pants.”  I had just stepped out of the shower and was still wet and only in a towel.  She opened her eyes and said very slowly and with an air of menace: “Are you going to take the dogs out? If the answer is no, I will put PJ bottoms on and leave them on for a VERY LONG TIME”. I understood the gravity of my situation. I took the dogs out. 

• I watched an episode of a show without her that we had been watching together and was snacking after dinner at the same time. She walked in as the TV went off, looked around like an FBI agent first arriving at a crime scene – taking it all in. I was confronted with a narrow-eyed gaze and she said, “You smell of peanuts and treachery…”

• Our two dogs were mad after long walk. When questioned about their mood, she said , “They got to go to the park and shit on things – including me.”  I am guessing there were repercussions for the puppies… 

• We were on the town for a rare night out and enjoying Sushi at our favorite Japanese restaurant, sitting beside their salt water fish tank.  Laurel looked up, hashi, in hand, holding a delicate piece of Unagi sashimi and said, “We are just like those people on Soul Train.”  She meant that we are like the people on the TV show/movie Snow Piercer.  I erupted in laughter.  She smiled and ate her Unagi without a care in the world for just a little while.

• “Can we save some of Brodie’s hair or blood for later?”  Brodie is our 14 year-old Boston Terrier.  I think she wants to clone him…