A quick update about why I have not posted here on my blog or been on YouTube for a few weeks and how I have been spending my time: Roadtrippin’, some slight ranting, obscene gestures, naughty words, snowboarding, beer, some boats, a little 3D printing, and a sneak peak at the Jeep’s homecoming after 12 weeks in the body shop are all to follow.
We drove 6+ hours each way for Thanksgiving this year and it was all that an annual family Thanksgiving Hell weekend should be: A late start, Farting dogs, forgotten items, foul weather, snarled traffic, booze, weird family drama, unhappy wife, alcohol, some yelling, miscommunicated plans, mountains of guilt, one dog escape, unmedicated crazy, some tears, no turkey, more alcohol, slamming doors, heartburn, someone that showed up super-high, fits thrown, 1 minor meltdown, fitful dreams… You know, the usual stuff. It is going to take a week and a cleanse to get my liver and mood back to a moderately-normal functionality.
After we got home LATE Sunday night, I started a fire in the living room stove insert, fed the puppies, we ate a little something, unpacked, and said a little prayer of thanks that no one went full-postal.
“Next Year” we are doing something different. Seriously. Like a cruise or our own private affair with a fried turkey, soft white rolls, butter, cranberry & pine nut stuffing, corn on the cob, more butter, apple pie, peach cobbler, expensive/tasty booze and ZERO drama.
My birthday is almost here. I will be taking the day off from work, the next day as well and enjoying doing stuff that makes me happy! A strait razor shave, brunch, an afternoon movie, steak dinner with my wife, cookies, etc… Below is a short birthday wish list in no specific order. Just putting it out there:
Peace on the Korean Peninsula
For the Adults in the room to take the reins of the American Political System
Heifer International: Bees (I really like to give the gift of bees) Goats, Chickens, Llama, or the whole Ark…
A little cash to Doctors Without Borders/MSF
Go give blood and send me a post card
Money for Diabetes Research
Some time in a Tattoo Artist’s chair
An Amazon Gift Card
Book: Campaign Furniture by Chris Schwartz
Book: Bees of the World by Mitchner
A gift card to Hardwick’s Hardware in Seattle
Genetic genealogy testing from 23&Me
Starbucks Gift Card
Coupon for The Art of Shaving
A card from each of my kids
Sign up for the 2-Day Rally School Course
An Ash Pack Basket (Sling-style harness)
Amber 2ga. Plugs (bonus points if they have insect inclusions)
A fine Anejo Tequila
Jack Daniel’s Tennessee Honey
Porto (Cálem Vintage, Ramos Pinto, or a Taylor’s)
In about 4 weeks I will celebrate the 14th anniversary of my 29th year. I want cake (moist yellow cake with chocolate butter-cream frosting), snuggling, two fingers of a great scotch after lunch, lots of tiny cups of coffee all day, a nice glass of wine with a steak for dinner, laughter, and a few well thought out gifts. I will not be working that day and I plan to pamper myself with a haircut and a strait-razor shave.
Below is my birthday wish list for my wife, family and children.
Gifts that Keep giving:
Books:
Campaign Furniture by Chris Schwartz
Theodore Roosevelt: A Strenous Life
I could stand a Kindle Paperwhite
A volume on handplanes or a tome on traditional woodworking
Bees of the World by Mitchner
A Lost Art Press volume of The Essential Woodworker
Washington: A Life by Ron Chernow
James Krenov’s Cabinet Maker’s Notebook
Two Classic books on Shaker Furniture: here and here.
Stuff:
Forging class at the Pratt starting in October
Letters from my kids – written on actual paper.
A 3-Day Rally School Course
A bottle of Pre-Shave Oil from The Art of Shaving – Lavender
A couple of thoughtful cards
The iWatch 2. Simple black – the cheapest one
German Wheat Beer is always welcome
Zombie shooting targets
An Ash Pack Basket (Sling-style harness)
Amber 2ga. Plugs (bonus points if they have insect inclusions)
2ga. Dark Jade plugs
The AKcooltools Stainless/bronze Clamptite and the lg roll of stainless .041 wire
24 Provence lavender plants for my front yard
Tiffany blue silk tie and matching pocket square
These new bad-ass cufflinks
A Global Sashimi knife
Classic Cartoon DVDs (Wanrner Bros., Tex Avery, Bugs, Tom&Jerry, Loony Toons, Road Runner, etc…)
Christopher Ward Quartz Trident with black rubber strap
Booze:
A fine Anejo Tequila
Hakushu 12 Whisky
A bottle of Fronsac or Canon-Fronsac (Château Lafond, Château La Vieille Cure, La Dalphine…)
Jack Daniel’s Tennessee Honey
Porto (Cálem 2011 Vintage, Ramos Pinto, or a Taylor’s)
Glenfiddich 21
Portland Growler Company from Cineastas on Vimeo.
I was flipping through my Instacrack feed today and I noticed that in the last couple on months that I have had some really good beer. I am such a raving wino that we can buy a 6-pack and 4 of them will sit in the fridge for a month before I finally give them away to guests one at a time. More often than not, I will buy one or two promising looking beers at the store and put them in the back of our euro-fridge (tiny) to reward myself with after a day of yard work in the hot sun, when I am finally done with some long-term shop project, or if a project goes horribly wrong – like destroying a saw blade on an unseen nail, anytime I have run a chainsaw that day, after a grueling hike, finishing a monster drawing or spreadsheet, a bowl flies apart on a spinning lathe, multiple parts cut too short…. All that stuff deserves a beer
If you happen to follow Stamps-With-Foot or me on Tumblr/Facebook/Instagram it looks a lot like our life here in France is filled with wine, coffee, cheese, baguettes and croissants. There is a good bit of that, but there is also a LOT of time spent at my J-O-B; no 7 hour french work day and 2-hour lunches for me. No berets have been purchased, I am not wearing a scarf, no-one is smoking Gauloises, and neither of us has perfected the “french shrug”
Regardless, we do like to share the shots of the fantastically good and cheap stuff to drink and eat here. More pictures of the same will follow for the next two years or so 🙂
Dear Santa,
Below is my Christmas list for this year. I have been pretty good – no felonies. Please take a look and feel free to buy directly from the list or use it as a guide for the elves in the workshop – nudge, nudge, wink, wink…
Smart wool socks
For the all crazies at Westboro Baptist Church to smitted repeatedly with a bat.
A pair of red Chuck Taylor low tops – size 9.5.
Gift to Heifer International: Bees, goats, water buffalo…
Books: Theadore Roosevelt: a Strenous Life, American Sniper, Twilight at Monticello, Founding Foodies
Movie ticket/theatre gift cards
Zombie Targets
A new shaving mug
Illy coffee, Jamacan Blue Mountain, or REAL kona coffee
Wood burning kit from Woodcraft or Rockler
Don Julio tequila
Cabellas gift card
Glenlivet 12/15 or Glenfiddich 18 Scotch
For the both congressional houses to play nice and get some shit done.
Sam Adams “perfect” beer glass – set of 4
Any item from my Amazon Wish List
Now that you have been provided the above list for review don’t even consider bringing any weak-ass “Top Fiction” crap from the local B&N, fake Moleskines, cheap beer, ground Starbucks coffee, calculator watches, or any item that even remotely reminds me of Twilight. And don’t be gettin’ uppity when you slide down the chimney this year: We both know that the cookies and milk my wife leaves out are for me. If you touch my cookies there will be an elf beat down. Seriously. I will leave the liquor cabinet open again this year. As per our previous agreement, help yourself to the Bourbon. As long as you stick to the list, Mrs. Kringle will never know about you, Jim, Jack, & Johnny…
Merry Christmas, Santa!
Magical Spring has finally come to Le Maison du Talley. Our rhododendrons are back and in full pooping bloom after they were hacked back last year. The tulips, daffodils, and poppies have all decided to bloom at the same time. The Spanash, English and Provence lavender has taken root and flourished along the front fence. After a two year struggle with blossom-rot, the two cherries up front are full of flowers and green cherries. We have Mandarin orange blossoms, apple blossoms, apricots, figs, raspberry buds, a fence line of blooming roses, and 3 Meyer’s lemons on the dwarf tree in our backyard mini-orchard.
Stamps-with-Foot and I planted garlic and onions in the fall that are close to being pulled and we spent an afternoon planting tomatoes, squash, corn, and zucchini in two of our raised beds. After in initial problem with early blight last year, our two full beds of tomatoes went NUTS! and we had more that we could use or give away. We were more selective this year and planted just a couple varieties and only 7 plants. I hot-housed a bed of spinach, Swiss Chard, and beats all winter that is now in full production mode.
I plan to be home more this summer and really spend some time tending and harvesting, although one wouldn’t know it from all the traveling so far. I can’t wait until mid-August when I can sit in my cotton hammock, gently swinging over my Ireland-green grass, drinking a Dunkel Weissbeir, snuggling my wife, and patting our puppy while gazing out onto our yard and garden.
I resolved not to travel as much in 2012 as I did in 2011 (over 150K air miles), but I am not off to an auspicious start: by January 17th, I already had just over 9,000 miles and I am booked for another British/European tour in March, but I can say for a fact that 2012 has started off with much sweeter miles, My J-O-B sent me to England and Ireland for 8 days and my sweet little wife, Stamps-With-Foot, got to tag along for the first time in years. I can’t tell you how great it was to have her the with me! I slept great, I didn’t miss her when I saw some new or interesting site since she was right there. I had a dinner date every night and it was guaranteed that would be invited back to her place…
We had a day off in London and a night out in Dublin and we made the most of our time seeing old friends, visiting the V&A, taking the Globe Theatre tour, wandering through the Sherlock Homes “Museum”, visiting favorite shops, drinking Guinness, ogling the floor at Christchurch, more Guinness, and listening to Irish trad music on the top floor of Gogarty’s in Temple Bar. It was a really nice mid-winter diversion for us, though there were some tears shed over Brodie, my wife’s puppy/fur-baby, not being there to snuggle her to sleep…
My J-O-B sent me once again to Northern Ireland to address a possible issue. I REALLY didn’t want to fly into & stay in Belfast again (shiver) and make the daily hour drive through sheep country every morning. Instead, we flew into Dublin, drove north an hour & 20 minutes, and stayed in the seaside town of Newcastle – a mere 10 minute morning commute each day from our intended work site. I was accompanied this time by two coworkers that had never been to the UK or Europe and it was great seeing it all new again through their eyes. I have noticed that I can be blind to a new experience or site in a place that I have been to for work more than a couple of times. They pointed out some really cool stuff and some mannerisms of the local population that I just had never noticed.
It wasn’t 100% work/sleep/work. We got an afternoon to explore Newcastle and spent the evening before we flew out in Dublin – great city! That last night, we stopped by Christ Church to marvel at the floors and spent 2+ hours (them not me) souvenir hunting/buying at Carroll’s, before I took them down to Temple Bar for dinner and so they could see the crowds and sights. After dinner and a little walking to work off the desert, we sat at a high table on Gogarty’s second floor, right next to the musicians bench, watched Irish dancing and listened to irish ballads as we put a few pints of the black stuff away.
One of the reasons my J-O-B pays me the medium bucks is because I will travel anywhere in the world with little to zero notice. I again proved that last week when, with two hours notice, I hopped on a plane from Seattle to Northern Ireland two days before the Memorial Day weekend. Stamps-With-Foot was none too happy. I bought her shiny objects while there to quell the violence in her heart. Man, she really likes shinny stuff because I haven’t heard one more cross word from her about my trip and I am starting to wonder if she relishes when I travel so that she can display annoyance and mock anger to receive sparkly bobbles and guilt-heavy jewelry.
Some rough initial, unedited opinions of Belfast:
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We spend way too much cash every time we darken the door at Trader Joe’s. They have some really good stuff, most of it I didn’t know that I wanted or needed it until I saw it on the shelf and then I lust after it.
We were there Saturday night and I noticed a display for TJ’s branded “Bavarian Style Hefeweizen” and while I am real skeptical of some store-brand products, especially beer, I decided to give it a try if no no other reason than to make fun of it. I was pleasantly surprised to find that not only was the beer drinkable and super tasty, it was also unfiltered and had lots of lovely yeast in the bottle. My initial reaction was that the beer had a clean taste of banana and wheat, with a little clove spice. It poured a dark amber color, was murky, and formed a creamy off-white head with a limited amount of foam lacing. I might go so far as to say that it is one of my top 10 of American Wheat beers – especially for the price. I know, who woulda thunk it??
Although TJ’s is owned by a German grocery store chain, ALDI, and one would think that they would import the good stuff from the Spaten Brewery, the beer is actually brewed by the Gordon Beirsch Brewery in San Jose, CA., which is a brewery started by a guy who went to beer college (yes, it actually exists and is rigorous in its depth of craft and science) in Weihenstephan Germany. I have a feeling that we will be serving this beer to company all summer long. Again, both surprised and impressed by Trader Joe’s.
While at the grocery store this weekend, I found a bottle of Jacob Leinenkugel Brewing Company Sunset Wheat. It had an odd label and it is brewed in Wisconsin of all places so I wasn’t expecting much – no slight meant against Wisconsin, it is just that one doesn’t say the name and automatically thing ‘great beer.’ I have a co-worker from the Badger State and bought the beer solely so that I could have a sip, pronounce it crap, and make fun of him/his home state in a long witty e-mail diatribe. I poured it into a chilled pint glass Sunday evening, sniffed, swirled, sniffed again, took a precautionary taste, and then said dirty words! I hate it when I plan to be funny and am shot down in flames. This beer was actually good – really good. The color is perfect for a summer beer and there are hints of citrus and cherry on the tongue. It formed a respectable head in the glass, it was crisp and subtly dry in the mouth and the aftertaste was light and refreshing. Shock Top Wheat WISHES it was this good!
The Jacob Leinenkugel Brewing Company was founded and is still based in Chippewa Falls, Wisconsin. It began beer production in 1867 and their beer is colloquially known as Leinies. The Sunset Wheat was introduced in 2006 and the next year they introduced Summer Shandy (wheat beer mixed with lemonade – also called an Alster Wasser or Radler in DE) as a seasonal brew – perfect on a hot summer day when you have to either go back to work of have plans that evening. Leinenkugel also produces Leinenkugel’s Auburn Ale, Creamy Dark, Hefeweissen, Honey Weiss, their Original Pale Lager, and a 1888 recipe seasonal Bock. Not a fan of the lager beer, but I am raring to try the Hefe, Shandy, and Honey Weiβ.
I am both very impressed by my find and somewhat sad: I found a great beer that I will drink all summer long, BUT I don’t get to make snide, yet work appropriate remarks to the resident Cheesehead… I will comfort my loss with multiple doses of Sunset Wheat and reapply as necessary.
I sat down last night with a ½ liter glass of Schneider Brewery’s Aventinus Dopplebock – there was TV and snacks involved as well. I can’t say enough good things about this beer. It goes amazingly well with dinner (veg or carnivore style), it is a fine brew to enjoy after a stressful day, and is nice on a warn summer day curled up in the hammock mit mein frau und kleine welpe.
I actually found this premium brew the first time at 99Bottles in Federal way. I have had regular weight Schneider Weiss on a number of occasions and our local pub serves it in a Schneider-branded Weissenglas, but somehow the Dopplebock escaped my attention while living in the cold Prussian north. It is named for Johannes Aventinus (1477 –1534) who was a Bavarian historian and philologist. He wrote Annals of Bavaria, a valuable record of the early history of Germany and was/is called the “Bavarian Herodotus,”
Schneider is advertised as “Bavaria’s oldest wheat beer brewery” though what that truly means is not 100% clear – oldest family owned, oldest in one place, oldest just brewing wheat, oldest with a charter, ect…? They do strictly follow the Reinheitsgebot – german beer purity law – and the current owner/brewer, Georg Schneider VI, is a direct father to son descendent of Georg Schneider I, who acquired the rights to boil wheat beer from King Ludwig II. in 1872.
The beer itself is a murky brown with a ruby tint. It pours smoothly and finishes with a fine thick foam head. The taste is amazing: velvet smooth with hints of clove, banana, bread, cinnamon, vanilla, milk chocolate & cherry aromas present. Those Bavarian yeasts make my heart beat so… It is like a proper dunkelweizen crossed with a beer float.
One pint is great! and it would be easy to have a second with the right buddy and I might be talked into a third, but with the high alcohol content I would need help home after #3. Normally a beer with 8.2 abv doesn’t really spin my wheels, but you truly can’t taste the booze unless you are careless and let your glass get too warm. I give this brew my heartiest recommendation.
My Weiβ bier love affair leads me down odds paths now and again. I look for new beers that may be worthy to consume, even better if they are somewhat local, to sample. I picked up a Fish Brewing Leavenworth Whistling Pig Hefeweissen Alpine-style Wheat Ale at our local grocer and it looked promising: Locally brewed, cool label (karabiner, bikers, mountains, climber, etc…) there was some sediment in the bottom, and the liquid in the bottle was the right amount of cloudy.
At dinner last night, my lovely personal beer-wench brought me a proper Weiβen glass and I poured a 12oz. sample. At first I thought “Yeah…” as it had a really nice cloudy golden unfiltered appearance, and looked as if it was going to form a nice thick foamy head. Nope, the head was thin and there were no real aromas that wafted from the glass. The beer was pretty weak in taste as well: slightly doughy, almost NO fruit phenols and somewhat malty, like the brewer had decided to add a little IPA to the barrel. I was disappointed. It is an OK American Wheat, but definitely not “Alpine-style” or Bavarian. I was hopeful seeing the unfiltered appearance, but was left wanting by the actual product. Overall, not great, not terrible, definitely drinkable compared to a Bud Light, but not something that we will be stocking in the beer fridge downstairs. I am going to try out their Dunkleweiβ this weekend and hope to have a better experience.
C&P on California Ave. is now my coffee shop. I have never had one before, just this or that shop that I would stop into IF I happened by. Well, the courting is over and while some may rave about Tea for Two and Hotwire, I now have a one true coffee home. When a certain Ex decides to put that hit out on me, I have a feeling that an overly muscular and black-suited gent with a thick accent will find me hunched over a book, in the faded high-backed chair, coffee in hand and ¾ eaten cookie on the table.
Not only does C&P serve great coffee, they are also purveyors of fine wine and good beer. There is live music 3+ nights a week, Mexican Coke bottles sit snugly in their fridge, the Wi-Fi is free, their croissants are both flaky and buttery, and our badass dog is always welcome. In the summer, one can sit outside on the large patio area that is raised above the sidewalk and has views of the Olympic Range and Puget Sound. Who can say ‘NO’ to setting outside on a calm sunny PacNW day, enjoying a great cup of coffee and a chocolate chip cookie? There is a sign on the door saying that C&P is a place reserved for “Service Animals Only” and apparently the fact that our puppy makes my wife so happy and is so damn cute, means he provides a service, so….
We stopped in today after a walk at the beach was aborted by a downpour and Peter (who is the “P” and his wife Cam is the “C” in the business name) poured us a great cup of Joe, BS’ed a bit, and hooked us up with a wonderful bread. He had an extra loaf because “…the local bakery guy has a thing for my wife…”
The Anheuser Busch Companies have just released Bud Light Golden Wheat. Really?! Low calorie Wheat beer? That is like telling the Pope that he has to give up funny hats. It hurts my soul a little that it is possible that someone’s first taste of wheat beer will be this cloudy bath water. The first time you kiss a girl, you want her to be a real girl not a cardboard cut out. Your first car should have an engine and you shouldn’t have to use Flintstone-propulsion. One’s first wheat should be glorious. I recommend Franziskaner or Paulaner – you really can’t go wrong if there is a monk on the label.
Laurel and I are getting married, again. “But Matt, aren’t you are already married?!” Yes, yes we are and no I am not taking a second wife – I looked into that, but I sort of let it go when Laurel started making sawing gestures while looking manically at my lower abdominal region.
The story is that we had planed a fairly extravagant affair for the summer of 2007. We had accepted a job in Germany and had planned to come back to The States for the wedding that next summer. German residence laws squished that plan as Laurel could only stay in Germany for three months at a time with a six-month gap in between if we weren’t hitched. After weighing our options, we went to a courthouse in SoCal to make our relationship official in the eyes of the extremely uptight German Government and then spent a weekend in a B&B. Not the most romantic wedding tales you have ever heard, I know.
We are now back and settled and both of us felt that we would like to acknowledge such a huge event in our lives properly. We have rented heavily wooded parcel of land for a weekend this summer and will have an outdoor ceremony (I swear it will be simple and not California-kooky) and will spend the evening in a 1930s ballroom on the property cozying up to 2-3 kegs of GREAT beer, a yummy spread of food, a dozen or so pies, cake and enough wine to make Bacchus want to come and join the festivities. It is always a pain in the ass to attend someone’s do and have to get a pricey hotel room and rent a loud polyester outfit. So… to make things as easy as possible for our guests, we have rented enough cabins to sleep the entire wedding party in for both Friday and Saturday night. I swear that I will not make any of my buddies rent a pink tux, wear short-short lederhosen, kilts, nor do I expect any of them be on their best behavior – As long as no one does anything to make my hot little wife cry – then what happens in the trees stays in the trees.
To lure my elusive buddies out of their high mountain caves, I have floated the rumor that Mt. Rainer is 40 miles south, there is great sport/trad climbing in Leavenworth, some killer Alpine routes with glaciers on the Olympic peninsula, great fishing, whale watching, Canada to the north, etc, etc, etc. It would make a fine kick-off weekend to the annual summer climbing, beer drinking, rafting, cycling, suffer-fest that we all partake in.
Now, if some of our friends can’t make it, we TOTALLY understand and it is not like I will pour wax into small molds and make dolls that look remarkable like each of those who choose not to attend. It would be crazy to think that I have snippets of their cloths and cuttings of hair to paste on these completely theoretical dolls. And know that I would never heat up any pins and probe their wax parts IF for some reason they decided to miss our wedding. No, I wouldn’t even think of such…
How did you spend your Christmas Eve? Ugly sweaters, annoying cousins, and family fun time? Well, at the Talley House we slept late, had breakfast for lunch, went to the gun range, “killed” zombies with a bad-ass, tack-driving .45, drank coffee, shot a hand-cannon/thumb breaking .357, deep fried a turkey, made cranberry and pine nut stuffing, drank lots great beer, played the ukulele, and went to a titty-bar… Ok, we didn’t go to the topless establishment, but one member of our gathering REALLY wanted to.
Well, we had our opening of summer BBQ with LOTS of home brew. We had all sorts of sausage, my buddy Dave’s wife is a sushi chef and she made more raw fish than 30 normal people could eat – luckily we had Daniel and Laurel who put a major dent in the sashimi.
The beer was mostly good. Daniel was the Brew-Master and the IPA beer turned out to be just as planned – I named it Hopocalypse. There was a special Double-IPA that Daniel named S&M IPA that was super-stiff. The PacNW boys seemed to like it though. My wheat beer (Between the Sheets Wheat) didn’t turn out as good, however. The taste was excellent, but we didn’t put enough sugar in during the bottling process and it was somewhat flat. A proper Weissbier should have a nice thick foamy head, my wheat had a John Waters pencil moustache sort of head. It hurt my soul a little, but there was plenty of other beer and everyone had a good time and waddled home at the end of the evening.
We spent the Memorial Day weekend with Laurel’s kinfolk in a cabin situated on a hillside above apple orchards that had an AMAZING view of Mt. Hood. It was a great weekend, full of laugher, campfire smoke, yummy fermented hop and wheat beverages, and good food.
1. Me playing the only three cords I know (the ones Leif just taught me)
2. The view from the deck every morning
3. A porch perfect for drinking coffee and playing the banjo…
As I live in the beer capital of the world and great beer swirls all around me, I feel that there is no reason to drink sub-par beer. As my particular favorite fermented beverage is wheat beer, I thought about having a blind taste test that included a group of multi-national friends to see which of the most popular and available brands I should buttress with my patronage and financial support. The Beer Fairy (we are big buds – exchange Christmas cards and all that) stopped by our flat this past weekend and left eighteen (18) different quality brands of Hefeweissen (or just plain “weisse Bier” as we were repeatedly corrected by a German participating in the event). My darling bride graciously volunteered to be the beer wench/test focal for the evening along with another friend – both sporting dirndls, making for an authentic German beer drinking atmosphere (they are both getting some good stuff for this added and appreciated surprise detail). The tasting was loosely organized along the lines of a blind taste test – very loosely.
All 18 Hefeweissens we tested and a few other kinds of beer consumed after the testing. This shot was taken on the way to the recycling center the next day. I know my neighbors looked out their windows as I lined up the bottles for the picture and thought, ‘Crazy American, what is he doing now…‘
It wasn’t a test that would hold up to scientific peer review: Pallets were not cleansed before and after tasting, the beer was swallowed after the tasting (spitting good beer in my house unless you are having a heart attack will get one unceremoniously booted out the door!), the participants were seated together and were allowed to talk about the beer and/or each other’s mother if they so desired, food was served with the beer, there was not a control group given the same beer each time, no random sampling of participants from the overall beer drinking population was used. Multiple tests were not conducted under exacting standards, etc… This was a gathering of like-minded friends who just like beer. So, if you are reading this and you work for one of the companies that we decided sucked – sorry, but it is going to be real hard to sue me for posting an OPINION on my VERY obscure, almost NEVER read (…save for a couple of friends and a crazy English woman…) website/blog.
Just before 7:00pm on Friday, guests started showing up and we sat down for an evening of semi-scientific research. A few were late and a couple had to leave early, so the testing had to accommodate this flow of testers. All counted, there were three Americans, one Scot, one Swede, an Englishman, and three Germans who participated as testers and a good number of significant others and onlookers drinking wine and the hard stuff for the duration. Of those who participated in the actual testing: two were women, seven were men, and we ranged from twenty-two to thirty-six years old. Our dirndl-clad test administrators kept us well stocked, washed glasses between rounds, and delivered mini-pizzas and other snacks fresh from the oven. We had music playing in the background and a slide show of 350+ beer and weisse Bier related images scrolling on the big screen throughout the evening.
Going into this test I just knew that my personal favorite, Franziskaner Hefeweissen would come out on top and that my second favorite, Franziskaner Weissen Dunkel, would place well (I am brand loyal). Though, I was open to try other options to see how they faired against mein Lieblingsbier. I picked regular Franziskaner out the minute it touched my tongue and it was the only beer I gave the top score to, but I was somewhat surprised by the overall result. Here is a link to the results of the overall test and scorecard templates if you are interested, but the top five beers we tested, listed in ascending order, were:
#5: Franziskaner Hefeweissen (I was appalled!)
#4: Edinger Weisse
#3: Schneider Weisse
#2: Franziskaner Weissen Dunkel
#1: Paulaner Hefeweissen Dunkel
As you can see, the Dunkel Hefe’s scored the highest marks and that could either be because of the group of testers selected or because it just tastes better – not real sure… One thing to note though was that although Paulaner had the #1 beer, the brewery also produced the beer that came in second to last: regular Paulaner Hefe Weissen. Odd…
In dead last place was Schoefferhofer Hefeweissen. It wasn’t drinkable (one of the testers scribbled “never again” on his score card as a comment for this beer) and one would think that production of such a concoction would have already ceased due to an angry pitchfork wielding Bavarian mob storming the gates of the brewery.
The evening was a rousing success: lots of beer and food was consumed, there were no fights or broken furniture, no one got sick, no hookers showed up, not one person was locked out of their house by an angry wife/girlfriend, and we agreed to do this again in six or eight weeks to test the quality of local Pilsner (though I might expand the rules to include Czech beers as they are the ones that invented Pils…). Most of the credit for the successful evening goes to Laurel and Megan, who were so gracious to us all, even after we got loud – and I need to give a special note of thanks to Karin, who made all the yummy snacks and testing glasses possible.
What is it about the Pacific Northwest and home brewing? Everyone and their dad either brews their own or has at some point in the past. As a lover of fine fermented wheat beverages, I am intrigued. There is an issue of time: I don’t really have any to start a new hobby where I have to buy a bunch of stuff upfront. I already have this bike addiction, way too many tools, enough mountain gear to outfit a full big wall Himalayan expedition (Really!), and at least 7 pairs of different sport-specific shoes. As the weather has started to turn it has let my mind drift to thoughts of BBQ, laughter, and beer. I started thinking about a medium to large gathering at the new house and how cool it would be to brew some beer for the shindig. It was just whimsy until I remembered that Daniel, my beer/coffee snob coworker, was a master brewer. I cornered him in his cube one morning and offered to buy all the ingredients and provide all the manual labor if he would brew 10 gallons of wheaty nectar for my party. Daniel is not a Weissen fan (we can’t all be perfect) and only agreed to lead the battle if we brew 1/2 of the planned 10 gallons (this will make 17.75 12oz bottle six-packs or 4.5 cases) as wheat and the other half as a heavy gravity IPA. I agreed and a couple of days later we took off at lunch and went to the local brewing supply store for all the ingredients. We bought the malt and wheat extract, yeast, sugar, and 15 ounces of hops. The hops were Kelly green in color and wrapped in rectangular one ounce C02 flushed clear plastic bags. When laid out on the table it made me fill like I was doing something illicit, as I have not seen that much green stuff in little baggies since college.
Bottle caps, hops, yeast, wheat extract and other brewing stuff.
Without the cost of labor or power or taking into account the cost of Daniel’s kegs, carboys, capper, etc… I am paying about $6.00 per six-pack for what should be GREAT beer with an alcohol content above 8%. Not too shabby. In addition to beer, we are planning on roasted meat, veggies, grilled corn, salads, fresh bread, wine, some store-bought brew (just in case there are Philistines about), music, a fire that night, and hopefully the cops won’t get called.
We had another tasting at the house recently and it was just as unscientific as the first one. Laurel is a pilsner fan so it was decided shortly after the last testing that we would try to find the best Pils brand available. I HATE Pils, so I offered to be the beer wench. Laurel’s dad was spending some time in The Czech Republic before coming to our place for a visit, so he agreed to get a sampling of Czech Pilsner – since that particular poison was born in a Czech monastery a few hundred years ago. He outdid himself by bringing a case of one liter beer 500+ miles on a train and then lugging it around Hamburg to our place.
Things started well and we had a fine turn out of participants as well as seventeen different beers to try. Mat and Karin brought aluminium foil for hats – lest other testers read your mind and it influence their decision and we provided beer related snacks. Donald, a chef by trade, cooked gourmet treats for the guests to have with the beverages.
Things started off well – I had a system where I assigned one glass to one person and would wash it real quick after a sampling had been drunk. After the second or third beer, Laurel stopped drinking and helped me with the serving. The testers started getting loud and opinionated after the fifth beer or so with the German testers saying hateful mean things about the Czech pilsner. Anytime we offered a German beer they knew right away and gave a little cheer. Consequently, as there were no Czech testers to balance it out, the German beer trounced the Czech versions, but two did make it into the top five.
A spreadsheet referencing each testers score for each beer and the overall ranking can be found here. The top five beers were:
#5 Warsteiner Pils
#4 Staropramen Svetlý (Pale)
#3 Bitburger (tie)
#3 Krusuvice (tie)
#1 Beck’s Gold
With hats, pizza, score cards, and beer. Click on the pic on the right for the best shot of the night.
There was continued drinking after the testing and things degraded further. At one point a brother of an invited guest decided it was a fine idea to grab a VERY expensive bottle of tequila and swig it like cheap bourbon. He threw back somewhere near $60 worth before the then half-empty bottle was taken from him. Shortly after we had to officially close the testing down for the evening. I would like to think that this proves, unscientifically, that Weisse beer is better than Pilsner and that the general public is better behaved and happier when they consume Franziskaner than when sucking down a Beck’s…
Laurel always has the best costumes, no matter what occasion it is. She decided to have a costumed birthday party and went to great lengths to become the Corpse Bride. I was the groom, Victor. My costume was OK (spats are cool!) but, her’s was GREAT- visable rib bones and all. Brauning was the Sumo wrestler and the funniest part of it wasn’t his puffy red nipples – it was that his hair will look exactly like that in 20 years – exactly!
