Tag: cookies

Dear Santa -2012

/ Matt Talley / Leave a comment

Dear Santa,

Below is my Christmas list for this year. I have been pretty good – no felonies. Please take a look and feel free to buy directly from the list or use it as a guide for the elves in the workshop – nudge, nudge, wink, wink…

Smart wool socks
For the all crazies at Westboro Baptist Church to smitted repeatedly with a bat.
A pair of red Chuck Taylor low tops – size 9.5.
Gift to Heifer International: Bees, goats, water buffalo…
Books: Theadore Roosevelt: a Strenous Life, American Sniper, Twilight at Monticello, Founding Foodies
Movie ticket/theatre gift cards
Zombie Targets
A new shaving mug
Illy coffee, Jamacan Blue Mountain, or REAL kona coffee
Wood burning kit from Woodcraft or Rockler
Don Julio tequila
Cabellas gift card
Glenlivet 12/15 or Glenfiddich 18 Scotch
For the both congressional houses to play nice and get some shit done.
Sam Adams “perfect” beer glass – set of 4
Any item from my Amazon Wish List

Now that you have been provided the above list for review don’t even consider bringing any weak-ass “Top Fiction” crap from the local B&N, fake Moleskines, cheap beer, ground Starbucks coffee, calculator watches, or any item that even remotely reminds me of Twilight. And don’t be gettin’ uppity when you slide down the chimney this year: We both know that the cookies and milk my wife leaves out are for me. If you touch my cookies there will be an elf beat down. Seriously. I will leave the liquor cabinet open again this year. As per our previous agreement, help yourself to the Bourbon. As long as you stick to the list, Mrs. Kringle will never know about you, Jim, Jack, & Johnny…

Merry Christmas, Santa!

What I Want Thursday – 8/2/2012

/ Matt Talley / 1 Comment

Below are the things that I find are present for me today:

1. More time with my children.

2. I want to stick to my new diet and workout schedule and not fall off the wagon and back into the cookie/café Mocha/lethargic/big-belly abyss.

3. For my wife to finish some long ago promised sewing tasks for me.

4. More book shelf space at home. We read more and more on our kindles and have sold many, if not most, of the paperbacks that have filled our lives for years and we are still completely out of space for our books. There are stacks on the floor in both of our home offices, to-read piles on each night-stand, fiction and history filing the living room book case, literature lined up on the basement hutch, cookbooks on the bottom shelf of the china hutch, and single volumes littered across the normally unoccupied spaces of our small home. We more shelves, not less books!

5. A finished kitchen

6. Painted lawn furniture

7. Filson Medium Travel bag. My son and I went to the Filson factory store and I fell into love/lust over this piece of luggage. I know that sounds weird, but I fly a LOT – I am a Platinum SkyTeam frequent flier member and a Gold OneWorld member. Quality, attractive, roomy, useful luggage is a necessity.

8. A cigarbox electric Ukulele for playing blues with a slide.

9. A proper car camping/glamping kitchen set up.

10. A few books: Passions:The Wines and Travels of Thomas Jefferson; The Lodge Cast Iron Cookbook; Paris Between the Wars 1919-1939: Art, Life & Culture; Ernest Hemmingway bio and a two books of his letters (1&2), etc…

11. A Truck bed full of wooden wine/port crates/boxes for a couple of open projects at home.

12. To give Heifer International a menagerie of animals. That is my charity goal for the year. I want to save, gather, raise, find as much cash as possible to give to Heifer International by the end of 2012 for the purchase of bees, goats, cows, water buffalo, chickens, trees, training and hope. It will provide animals and knowledge that will change lives for the good. I will add a link or a tab on my front page to a fund status page/counter and update it as the gift grows.

Big Game huntin’ in the back yard

/ Matt Talley / Leave a comment

I can say with certainty that there are some unique benefits when you are my child:  They are allowed to watch cartoons at any point during the day, expletives are allowed as long as they are in another language (points given for Chinese curse words), cookies (in moderation) and cold milk are a food group of their own, no brussels sprouts will EVER appear on their plate, I have the tools and childlike imagination to build most anything that can be dreamt up, big game and zombie hunting are allowed in the back yard, sword fights with foam batons are good clean fun, mohawks and blue hair are just fine, and I will trick out a BMX bike like a hustler will pimp out a Caddy.  Apparently, I am an overgrown man-child with credit…  I am constantly amazed that my sweet wife both puts up with my antics and is contemplating procreating with me .

My son knows all the benefits of “Dad’s house” and this summer we worked on a wooden boomerang, build stuff in the shop, and sniped at dinosaurs with a pellet rifle perched atop his Wimbledon Cup-worthy bench rest that I built for him last year.  He is a dino-slaying machine!

How did I, of all people, miss this?!?!?!

/ Matt Talley / Leave a comment

Today is National Chocolate Chips Day!  Damn!!  Why didn’t I get some warning on this?!  I should already be well into my Chips Ahoy!-induced sugar coma – Face smeared with melted chips, shirt littered with crumbs, one shoe just gone, right hand clutching a batter encrusted beater, left hand resting on on an empty milk carton, and face etched with a smile…

The Original Tollhouse Cookie Recipe in below – Just like Mom makes!

  • 2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
  • 1 teaspoon baking soda
  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • 1 cup (2 sticks) butter, softened
  • 3/4 cup granulated sugar
  • 3/4 cup packed brown sugar
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 2 large eggs
  • 2 cups (12-oz. pkg.) NESTLÉ® TOLL HOUSE® Semi-Sweet Chocolate Morsels

PREHEAT oven to 375° F.

COMBINE flour, baking soda and salt in small bowl. Beat butter, granulated sugar, brown sugar and vanilla extract in large mixer bowl until creamy. Add eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Gradually beat in flour mixture. Stir in morsels. Drop by rounded tablespoon onto ungreased baking sheets.

BAKE for 9 to 11 minutes or until golden brown. Cool on baking sheets for 2 minutes; remove to wire racks to cool completely.

PAN COOKIE VARIATION: Grease 15 x 10-inch jelly-roll pan. Prepare dough as above. Spread into prepared pan. Bake for 20 to 25 minutes or until golden brown. Cool in pan on wire rack. Makes 4 dozen bars.

SLICE AND BAKE COOKIE VARIATION:
PREPARE dough as above. Divide in half; wrap in waxed paper. Refrigerate for 1 hour or until firm. Shape each half into 15-inch log; wrap in wax paper. Refrigerate for 30 minutes.* Preheat oven to 375° F. Cut into 1/2-inch-thick slices; place on ungreased baking sheets. Bake for 8 to 10 minutes or until golden brown. Cool on baking sheets for 2 minutes; remove to wire racks to cool completely. Makes about 5 dozen cookies.

* May be stored in refrigerator for up to 1 week or in freezer for up to 8 weeks.

FOR HIGH ALTITUDE BAKING (5,200 feet): Increase flour to 2 1/2 cups. Add 2 teaspoons water with flour and reduce both granulated sugar and brown sugar to 2/3 cup each. Bake drop cookies for 8 to 10 minutes and pan cookie for 17 to 19 minutes.

Bike to work month… big belly… left in the dust by old guy…

/ Matt Talley / Leave a comment

May is bike to work month and I need to ride. As I have neglected my many two wheeled lovelies this spring in my quest to become hugely fat, I decided it was time that I get back in the saddle, shed some pounds, and get into fighting shape. My first outing was somewhat painful and more than a little ego smashing. I drove into work the first sunny morning of the month and cut out 20 minutes early to take advantage of the not-rainy weather. This winter and spring have been cold, wet, crappy, and gray and I am so white that my skin is almost translucent.

I rode my CycloX bike at what I believed was a nice little let’s-get-reacquainted clip. The sun was warm, the sky blue, little wind, I was soaking up vitamin D, and WHOOSH! – an ass on a blue bike darted past me without a word and cleared my bars by a couple inches. Son of a… Poor form, poor form… Times past, I would have chased him down, stuck on his wheel and punished him with a nasty big-ring pace till he fell off, ashamed of his transgression and performance.  However, my cookie handles precluded me for doling out lessons in cycling etiquette right then. Let’s just say that I got passed a bunch.  Once, that lovely afternoon, by a 70+ year old man on a ’80s steel frame, who said “Look out, son!” as he rolled by on my left.  Really, he said that.

I would like to tell you that I got stronger as the month wore on, but traveling for work, a painful case of costochondritis, and my own laziness conspired against me.  I rode home three more times in May, averaging once a week and did ZERO weekend rides.  I am more than a little ashamed to own as many bikes as I do and not treat them with the respect they deserve.  June and July are going to be different.  I am going to commute an average of twice a week (when I am home instead of in Belfast – long story) and I am going to do one weekend ride a week.  In fact, next weekend I am going to take my lovely bride on a tandam bike ride/pincnic on either the Burke/Gillman or the Cedar River trail

On a brighter note, ridership at my work has increased 33% from last May to this: we have 3 people out of 700 that now ride to work occasionally instead of just two…

Girl Scout Cookie tally, so far…

/ Matt Talley / Leave a comment

CRAP!!  I have a body fat percentage hovering just under the Santa-level after a Thanksgiving and Christmas season filled with glutoney and sloth (I am looking at knocking the 5 other ones off as well…).  I am working semi-hard at the gym to rid myself of my marine-mammal worthy blubber, but that got shot in the foot yesterday with the arrival of my first six boxes of Girl Scout Cookies.  Jenny Craig here I come…  So far, I have purchased six boxes from a guy,s kid at work, my wife picked up four boxes from one of her employees, and we have four more on the way from a 12-year old family member.  Fourteen boxes of yummy, baked, CRACK!

Fourteen boxes is a bunch all by itself, but when you add the frozen cookie dough that I just bought from another coworker’s kid, the three chocolate bars I was wrestled into purchasing from the 12-year old Girl Scout’s sister, and the 5-10 boxes that I will get pressured into buying outside of my local grocery store, my future begins to become clear: I am going to turn into a fvckin’ Weeble Wooble…

Stepping up on my soapbox now: The little girls that stand with their mom outside Safeway are velociraptors!  Evidenced by the fact that they hunt their quarry in packs, are relentless, and unflinching:  They huddle as a would-be victim steps out of a car, then all break rank before their unwitting mark nears.   One, the cutest and most doe-eyed of the pack, will step right in front of you with a box in her small, outstretched hands and ask you to “Please” buy some of their crack.  While one fumbles with the “No Thank you, I am trying to be good” answer, two of her “sisters” move in from opposing oblique angles and simultaneously cut off a possible escape and present you with another box of baked love-handles to be.  You will end up walking around the store with a minimum of two boxes in your cart, getting the sad also-violated nod from the other addicts who have fallen for their Late Cretaceous Period-inspired snack-trap.

Stepping off my soapbox and returning to my box of Samoas…

Santa Claus-like body fat percentage

/ Matt Talley / 1 Comment

As far as my overall fitness lever:  I have never worked this hard to look this bad!  I REALLY miss being 19.  The days of drinking lots of beer, eating crap, still looking decent, and performing at an elite level are GONE.  I am officially almost old and I have outrageous cookie-handles/spare tire, my arms have shrunk, and my body fat percentage is bordering on Santa Claus level.  The months of inactivity after the most recent surgery and gorging myself on coffee (triple Grande one pump mocha with whip…), 1-liter wheat beers, donuts, more beer, cookies, and brownies did little to prepare me for the coming summer.  I have been doing yoga at home weekly, but want to find a local class/studio to visit for a weekly or bi-weekly session.  Yoga really adds to my climbing and as I have decided to focus on my core (keeps me from stressing robo-shoulder) and my agility, it compliments the abundant AB work – which is not going well since I am starting from scratch again.  All the work last summer and fall was for naught. I am slowly working back into my pre-cartwheel down the stairs groove.

The Bionic Shoulder is doing SO much better.  I still need the second surgery, but it can wait – no serious rush – and I can do 15 push-ups without it hurting.  I have been real careful not to stress it as I am going to need it in as good a shape as possible if I snag a slot on the Alpine Club of Iran Climber Exchange trip that I am hoping to be selected for.  I am climbing all right, but I have been hesitant to frequent the rock gym or bounder on plastic holds.  I have found that it is REALLY easy to over train and tear something on plastic.

I have logged about 90 running miles in the last 6 weeks, Nike+ has helped with that, but I have been neglecting my two-wheeled mistresses.  I may have ridden 120 miles in the last 7 weeks…  It is my new commute and the spring rainy season.  The ride home has a shitty hill at the end of the 15mile ride and I have to fight traffic some so that puts me off, but more than that, the sun has been shy of late.  I am by no means a fair weather cyclist, it is just that rain + traffic + cold + hill = me screwing off instead of riding.  I have already paid the entrance fee for the annual Seattle to Portland ride, so I have to cowboy-up and get a bunch more training and commute mile behind me.  Speaking of rides: I am also signed up for a Duathalon in June, a couple of 10k road races and a half Marathon this summer, all in an attempt to keep myself on target for the STP ride, the possibility of climbing in Iran and to keep my cookie handles in check.

Santacyclingsantarun

“I just kept run-ning and run-ning…”

/ Matt Talley

I have been an avid runner since I was 14 and ran cross-country and middle distance track in high school.   After running at 4:00 each morning in the Army, I ran CC for my intramural college team (Fifth Year Freshman), coming in second once after an all night bender of cheap beer, video games, a mascot head, and ladies of questionable character/morality.

I just picked up a new pair of trail shoes and inserts after noticing my old pair had started to fall apart – my big toe sticking out when the side stitching blew was a dead give away.  The purchase has me in a reflective mood.  Running is for my soul, to keep the pounds that I would add from the constant cookie consumption at bay (I can tear through a box of Somoas/Do-Si-Dos faster than a fat kid at Summer Camp…), to have time to think through things, to enjoy trails, and to make me a better climber and cyclist.  I don’t enter every 5 or 10K that comes along as I am slow and lazy.  It has to be either a really cool event or be held in an amazing place for me to get up the initiative to actually participate.  I have run one Marathon, years ago – probably the last one I will ever do:  over trained, lost too much weight, had horrible shin splints, and was sick for two weeks afterward.  I will stick to 3-5 mile runs, 2-4 times a week and maybe throw in a 10-12 miler here and there to keep it interesting.

Running is the one constant activity I do that only costs me a pair of shoes every six months or so.  I can wear the kicks when not on a trail and just bumming around the yard or if out and about.  Cycling and climbing shoes are neither fashionable nor functional while out on the town.  I can run from home, on work trips, while visiting the in-laws, etc…  There is a lot of running done when the in-laws are in town…  I always plan to run on vacations, but find that my trail shoes are the one thing that doesn’t come out of my bag until I return home.  Running helps keep me sane.

C&P Coffee is where they will find me

/ Matt Talley

C&P on California Ave. is now my coffee shop. I have never had one before, just this or that shop that I would stop into IF I happened by.  Well, the courting is over and while some may rave about Tea for Two and Hotwire, I now have a one true coffee home.  When a certain Ex decides to put that hit out on me, I have a feeling that an overly muscular and black-suited gent with a thick accent will find me hunched over a book, in the faded high-backed chair, coffee in hand and ¾ eaten cookie on the table.

Not only does C&P serve great coffee, they are also purveyors of fine wine and good beer.  There is live music 3+ nights a week, Mexican Coke bottles sit snugly in their fridge, the Wi-Fi is free, their croissants are both flaky and buttery, and our badass dog is always welcome.  In the summer, one can sit outside on the large patio area that is raised above the sidewalk and has views of the Olympic Range and Puget Sound.  Who can say ‘NO’ to setting outside on a calm sunny PacNW day, enjoying a great cup of coffee and a chocolate chip cookie?  There is a sign on the door saying that C&P is a place reserved for “Service Animals Only” and apparently the fact that our puppy makes my wife so happy and is so damn cute, means he provides a service, so….

We stopped in today after a walk at the beach was aborted by a downpour and Peter (who is the “P” and his wife Cam is the “C” in the business name) poured us a great cup of Joe, BS’ed a bit, and hooked us up with a wonderful bread. He had an extra loaf because “…the local bakery guy has a thing for my wife…”

My own personal groundhog

/ Matt Talley

Spring is a comin’…  The Girl Scouts are marshaling their pig-tailed, freckled forces for an assault on my waistline and dental health.   I don’t need to check on the ground hog’s shadow.  Spring for me comes with the first box of Somoas every year.  In case I hadn’t noticed the change outside from confines of my sugar-coma, the new grass is starting to sprout in our yard and a local nursery is selling seeds and bare-root plants.  I have spied a number of cyclists, clad head to toe in isolated spandex, on the bike paths and in the city.  I cannot wait for the warmer weather, sunny days, cycling to work, trail runs on something other than mud, and new sprouts in our garden.

Its Girl Scout cookie time again!!

/ Matt Talley

You know how a bear just knows it is time to hibernate and geese just know it is time to fly south for the winter? The wildebeests in Africa just know when and how to migrate across the savannah and the swallows just know that they have to fly to Capistrano. Well, I just know when Girl Scout cookie season is. I feel it in my bones. There is a scent in the air, my Spidy-sense starts humming a little, and I have a Pavlovian response to sage green – the color of their merit badge sashes. Living in Germany for two years wrenched havoc on my system during this annual cookie-lust. I would grow moody and distant as February closed, but now I am back and I can, with some guidance and moderation, enjoy this time of year once again. As a note, self-control with cookies has never an easy thing for me. My wife has to dole them out in my lunch over a two-month period and lock them in a secret location at night. I can’t be left alone with them or she will find me passed out in the kitchen floor with a quart of whole milk, 4-5 empty boxes littered around me, and the crumbs of dozens of Samoas, Thin Mints and Trefoils cascading down my chest. We all have demons and mine are cookie flavored.

All this would work like clockwork except I have been added to some super-secret watch-list available only to 8-10 year old girls and their den mothers. They must have my address details, picture, vital stats, and my feeding patterns. I get nailed by those cute innocent faces at work, at home on the weekends, and while walking into every grocery store in town. They will let other potential cookie-consumers walk by with just the ‘Would you like to buy some cookies?’ pitch. Then they see me coming from across the parking lot. They huddle, then as I near the door one will step in front of me with a box in her hands, flash me the big sad puppy eyes and ask me to “Please” buy some of their crack. Before I can stiff-arm the tike, fake right, roll left and make a break for it, one of her co-conspirators move in from an oblique angle and cuts off my escape with another box of yumminess, looking hopeful while batting her eye lashes. So far this season I have bought 9 boxes and my wife made me promises not to buy another box, but I am a weak, weak man…