My mother passed away a couple weeks ago after a long battle with lung cancer. The last couple of years had been a downward physical progression and she had been in a lot of pain. The initial Chemotherapy treatments made her so ill. There were falls and fractures and repeated hospitalizations. She fought like crazy all the way to the very end though.
Mom always walked her own path in life. She joked that it was meant to be/in the stars since she was born on Friday the 13th while it was snowing in Texas. She bucked convention and expectation at every turn. Mother was not a quiet homemaker, keeping house on the farm. That is not the life she aspired to. She smoked and drank, loved to dance, and go to Country&Western clubs (think Urban Cowboy in the 1980’s). She was on an assortment of ROWDY bowling teams for years. She divorced a couple of husbands, had a few boyfriends and lovers, and had a couple of long careers that she built for herself. She bought her last home with her own money and was VERY proud that her name was the only one on the title. She wanted and needed to be her own person and be the only one in charge of her destiny.
From my mother, I inherited an early love of books and learning. She couldn’t play an instrument (she tried so many) or carry a tune in a bucket, but she loved art. Both as an appreciation and making it. She loved to paint, was truly gifted creating with pastels, and dreamed of being able to paint landscapes and the ocean in plein-air.
Mother really loved antiques as well. No just “old junk”, but proper antiques. Countless days of my childhood were spent following her/being drug by the ear to shops/garage sales/auctions/estate sales/etc. for unique or valuable pieces. She bought some, she sold some, but it was the finding of and the history of the items that she loved the most. Antiques Roadshow on PBS had a devoted fan in my mother!
Speaking of fandom, her obituaries mention that she was a rabid Seahawks fan: 100% true. When mom 1st got really sick and was undergoing surgery and treatment, she lived with us and her room was at the front of the house, facing the street. If the Seahawks were on, she was watching and yelling at the TV. I had to once ask her to stop yelling at the Seahawk Offence during a losing game as I was afraid that someone walking by the house would call the cops and report us for Elder Abuse. She toned it down until the very next week. That was mom.
Her last days were peaceful and she was surrounded by fresh flowers, sunlight, wonderful caregivers, and her children. There was a huge fig tree just outside of her window that she loved to look at and we have taken some grafts from it for our own yard.
I really can’t express the amount of gratitude I have for my Father-in-Law keeping her room full of flowers, the time he sat with her, and for the treatment she received from her caregivers in hospice. The staff treated her like family – really, really. Several them cried with me when she passed and two walked her out to the hearse with me when it came.
It was mom’s wish to spend eternity in the land of her birth and beside her parents and siblings. We are honoring that wish for her. My mother was a character and was very much loved. Her absence is felt daily.
Eugene Register Guard Obituary:
Tombstone and Gravesite
