Archive for category nerdy

Minimalist self-rightousness

With a transcontinental move a few years ago and two international relocations in the last four years my lovely bride and I have done a fair job at parring down our worldly goods and keeping our propensity to collect superfluous crap in check.   Tyler Durden from Fight Club was 100% correct when he stated “the things you own end up owning you.”  When you have mountains of crap you have to first pay for them, then maintain and replace them when they break, and you must immediately run right out and buy the latest and greatest version.

This group realization for the need downsize is now in full swing (could it be… the economy??)  and you see more and more minimalism in both furniture design, production staging, fashion, bicycles, computers, etc…  I see the occasional article like the one recently about a guy who has whittled down his life to 57 things and he is super-smug about it – 57 things?  Really‽  I NEED a lot more shit than 57 things.  Go through my SSS kit, thrown in a spork, bowl, pocket knife, thumb drive, soap, shampoo, camera, a few cables, watch, wedding ring, glasses, computer, notebook and a couple of pins and I am standing there naked with over 60 things.

I can identify with his hypothesis that “we’ve been duped into buying things by an advertisement-dominated society for the last 50 years.” However, I need some of that stuff that I was brainwashed by the media to run out and purchase: iPhone, eReader, Global kitchen knives, my bikes, the super-cool Freitag messenger bag sitting next to me right now, etc…  One has to weigh true need, want, and desire for themselves to determine how much is too much and how much is enough.  I feel that the wife (Stamps With Foot) and I are doing fairly well, but we could still stand to par down some, (do we really need 4 computers, boxes of long-canceled checks, and my 4th grade notebook rantings?)

For years American suburban life has been all about keeping up with the Joneses: Big house, fast car, big truck, boat, HUGE TV, toys, toys, toys… The glut of articles and blogs and books about moving to a more minimalist life style is a sure sign that the Joneses may not be as important as they once were.  However, moderation in any movement is the key.  If I lump all the stuff I have read about making life simpler lately, it feels as if there is a thread of one-upmanship that pervades: “I can live with less shit than you…”  Some of the authors are crazy-smug (like the 57-things guy) about living on friend’s couches and having all their world possession in a backpack  (padding their $3000 laptop…)  Instead of the Joneses, there is now the Schwartzes: a section of our proletariat, riding fixed geared bikes, sporting skinny jeans, typing away on their MacBooks, drinking expensive coffee, texting away on $500 smart phones, getting ironic tattoos and swapping stories about how little they can subsist on

To my mind minimalism today is less about freeing yourself of all your crap and more about your attitude towards the stuff you have.   Do you NEED that new Blu-Ray player or do you WANT it?  Are you buying that to last forever or just until…?  Does it have a life-time warranty?  Are you actually going to use or wear it enough to justify a high initial price (price per wear principle). Can you rent it, borrow it (books), or do without it?

Now, before buying something new, I try to have the need vs. want conversation and while mildly successful, there are still some things that I just have because the are cool toys and I like to either play with them or look at them.  Would my life be simpler without ALL the bikes, 4 snowboards, a book press, 2 TVs, and a competition pellet gun??  Yes, it would, but that life wouldn’t be half the fun.  For me and for us, I think the trick to not falling into the pit of conspicuous ownership is to be careful with what we spend our money on, and whether it is a need or a toy we should buy the best quality available so that we get years of use and enjoyment out of whatever it may be that our hard earned greenbacks are being traded for.

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Kindle Lust

I have a book addiction and right now I am jonsin’ for a binary fix: I have a mad case of Kindle lust:  one eye is starting to twitch, my mouth is dry, I am all itchy, and I can think of little else but e-ink.  I need a Kindle…..  NEED!  I complained about the size and Amazon made it thinner.  I reasoned that it sucked because I couldn’t arrange content and they released new software to allow organization.  I bitched about the high price and they dropped it, if only to mock me!  1500 books, my daily paper and Wikipedia access… Fvck it hurts!  I am starting to shake.

amazon_kindle_2_books

I am trying to be good, trying so hard.  My wife said, “No, we have other things to spend money on right now” (she is right) and she knows that I will spend hours every night for weeks downloading from Project Gutenberg and will buy a crap-ton of new stuff online – she KNOWS…  If I just go out and buy the thing, I will get it taken away like I am 3 years old and she will start using it smugly to ‘teach me a lesson.’   That and the sleeping outside alone (dog snuggles with her…) for the months it would take for her to calm down from my wanton disregard of our financial responsibilities would be too high a cost to pay if figured into the overall purchase price.

I am holding out for now, but God as my witness, the minute I can go to the library and check out an e-book with a Kindle, I am gonna go online and buy me some dirty e-reader relief, even if I have to prostitute myself out to a sweet old lady at the retirement home up the street for the cash!

kindle

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I refuse to facebook

My lovely little wife drug me into MySpace kicking and screaming. I made a profile, started collecting friends, heard from some kids I went to Jr. high with (still great guys), a couple of old girlfriends stopped by, I posted some pictures, I blogged a little, collected more friends, posted more pictures, spent hours looking at buddy’s and perfect stranger’s pages, etc… It all got to be too much. I have so much other stuff going on that I had to stop logging on. I am not sure the last time I checked my profile, but I haven’t added anything in 3 years or so. I have left my profile up just because, but I am pondering the decision to delete it as it seems that MySpace has become the denizen of pedophiles.

Now the pressure is on to “Facebook.” Somehow a noun has become an verb while I wasn’t watching, but I digress… I have fought the Facebook wave for the last three years. My wife has a page, my daughter has a page (I check up on her there) the ladies at work have pages and speak of being one another’s “Facebook-Friend” and ask if I will be one too… Really? Isn’t working with me and seeing me 9+ hours a day 5-6 days a week enough? I don’t particularly want my coworkers to see what my wife, daughter or deranged climbing buds might post on my Facebook page. In this age of information, I think that I would like to keep my private life just that. If I want to share something, I will blog about it – I like having complete control of the content and any comments that might come from the three people that follow my online musings – for the record, my wife isn’t on of them. She gets enough of my sardonic wit from sharing a life with me…

Nope, no Facebook for me.

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The Magic Book Press

As a constant list maker and recorder I go through Moleskine’s like a fat kid tears into Halloween candy.  It gets pricy at $15 each and I had long thought about just making my own notebooks, but book binding/making is not a skill found on every corner.  A few years ago, while on a train through the Czech countryside a dear friend and book nerd started my binding education with a list of materials needed (I had just picked up a bone folder at an estate sale and it started the book making itch anew…) for my first notebook and a few sketches to get me started.  She stayed with us some weeks later and by the time she left for the airport I was the proud maker/owner of a monastery-bound 6” plain cotton paper notebook.  I had to improvise a bit during the construction because I lacked the one serious tool required to make books – a book press.  I used a combination of cement blocks and carpenters clamps to get the job done, but it wasn’t pretty or particularly easy.  I have been on the hunt for a simple iron press since then and while I have found a few online or in antique stores, they have been REAL pricey or in terrible shape.

I stopped by one of my favorite recycled building material places the other day and as I walked in the door, this sleek and sexy press appeared in my line of vision.  I was drawn to it and I got all fuzzy inside.  It was amazing!  Steel & brass, in perfect shape, not a spec of rust, it had not been refurbished, was the right size, and instead of the ubiquitous gear wheel on the top it had thick bar ended with globes of steel so that one might be able to exert serous pressure.   Laurel couldn’t look at it.  She felt that if she acknowledged its beauty that I would plop down the credit card right then and there.  She knew that I wanted it, that I NEEDED it.  I placed a hold on the magic press until I could find out a little of the piece’s history and negotiate the price the next Monday.

The press was built in the 1920s, imported from London, and used by a lady that had a part-time bindery in her home here in Seattle.  I bargained lightly (I didn’t want to lose the item) and got them to come off the asking price by 15% – it was worth every penny.  The final price included some serious bargaining with my better-half and I had to finally agree to give up my part of discretionary funds from our household budget until September: no eating out for lunch, no book buying at B&N, no new tools from Woodcraft, or Starbucks Coffee at break-time…  It’s going to hurt some…

book press

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Spitting Coffee through my nose

I made an application that grabs the latest news from NPR, CNN, and my three favorite comics and delivers it to my Outlook In-box first thing in the morning – I know, I’m a dork.  Anyway, one of the ‘toons made me roll with laughter and I spit my fine latte out of my nose.  About two years ago I was cycling through the fields of North Germany, along narrow country roads, with a friend and neighbor who just could not stay warm on the ride.  The cold wind was just cutting into him so he pulled off, grabbed a paper full of glossy adverts from the ground and started layering them flat inside his jersey.  I laughed and laughed at him all the way home and would snicker for months afterward when we would ride together.  I had completely forgotten about it until yesterday morning when the comic below opened up in my morning Geek-mail.  Coffee should never be spewed from the nose: it is both painful and messy.  My laughter/coffee fountain was also a source of delight for the other cube-dwelling Engi-nerds that surround me.

yahuda stuffing newspaper

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A Brush With the Far Side

Small world – strange place…  So the other day I left a couple of messages on someone’s voice mail wanting some info about this or that.  The recording was one of those monotone/flat affect sort of messages that come standard with your phone and one that most people rush to change.  I thought it was odd considering the person I was trying to reach is one of those people who records cutsie messages with music in the background.  I got a call back the next day while working my garage/shop that went as follows:

Ring… Ring…

Me: Hello

Caller: Hi this is Gary Larson and you left a couple of messages on our phone the last few days looking for ______.

Me: Uhh, yeah, sorry I must have had the wrong num…, wait, uhh – Gary Larson – as in THE Gary Larson?!

Caller: Well, there are a number of THE Gary Larson’s, but yes…

Me: Ummm, oh….  Yeah sorry, I didn’t mean to bug you.  I will check the number and make sure to call the uhh right one from now on, sir.

Caller: Ok, great.  Have a good day, bye…

Me: …………..

Now, I am someone who has a comeback for everything.  As a child I was king of the ‘dozens (playground ‘Yo Mamma is so… ‘ matches) and I am almost never at a loss for words – sometimes to my own detriment…  I pride myself on my ability to deliver a polished opinion/thought/answer on command and under stress.  As one can tell from the transcript above, I failed miserably to seize the opportunity that serendipity dropped in my lap and tell an amazing artist how much I love his work and that at the very instant he called there was one of his comics in view, freshly pinned to the right of the shop door.  No, no, instead I sounded like I had just put down the 3’ bong and paused my video game in my parent’s basement before answering his call.  So much for my personal power of wit, self-control, verbal ability, and mental agility… dumbass…….

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Comics for Cycling Geeks

There is a special place in my heart for the daily comic strip.  I have a tool that feeds my three favorites to me in an e-mail each day so that I start my morning off with a little laughter.  One of my favorites, Yehuda Moon, is for bike geeks, but has been on hiatus for a couple of months. Rick Smith, the cartoonist behind the strip took some time off to recharge his batteries and I have missed my daily dose.

Yehuda is an old-school Luddite cyclist that commutes everywhere – in all types of weather, rides a heavy-weight steel framed steed, sports a wool sweater and cycling cap pulled low, is a militant cycling advocate, and owns a bike shop with a guy named Joe who loves carbon bikes, technology, and speed.  Joe serves Hardy to Yehuda’s Laurel.  I see a little of myself in Joe and a lot of me in Yehuda.  He pulls shenanigans that the evil inside me sing with glee – painting cycling lanes on main street in the middle of the night, relieving @sshat drivers of their keys, giving bike thieves a u-lock beat down, etc…

2008-03-11yehuda-red-light

On May 2nd, new panels will be available, but this week there have been a couple spin-off funnies available if you check at the main site.

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