Category: cookies

Gluttony: Deadly Sin #2 accomplished.

/ Matt Talley / Leave a comment

We spent Christmas at a friends’ parent’s house near Pau (pronounced “Po”), France. It is in the middle of the Jurançon wine region and near one of the historical centers for mountain pasture fed sheep and goat cheese. Our hosts were incredible and the amount of food we consumed was staggering! Below is a semi complete list of the things that we enjoyed:

Aged local Brebis (sheep) cheese
Steak grilled in the home’s fireplace
Prosciutto
Coffee
Herbal tea
Cured ham
Roasted Rabbit
Strawberry preserves
Roasted potatoes
Rice pilaf
Pate
Christmas cake
Croissant with honey
Baguettes
Wild Boar
Foie gras
pumpkin soup
3 types of Jurançon wine
Saucisson
Aged Pyrenees goat cheese
Boudin
Swiss and German chocolate
Dutch Stroopwafel
Bottle after bottle of amazing 2008 and 2006 Bordeaux wine

 

2011 Christmas list

/ Matt Talley / Leave a comment

Every year, instead of bumbling around at the last minute and either spending WAY too much coin on a guilt-riddled extravagant present or buying the completely wrong thing that we will each smile over and pretend to like on Christmas morning, my sweet wife and I exchange Christmas lists in mid November.  We don’t get the other one every item on their respective list or even most of them – they are used as a gift guide and if a couple or three things from the list show up under the tree then all the better.  For me, it really cuts down on the ugly ties, strange t-shirts, and books I will never read.  We do the same things with the kids, so that we have a general idea of what they are into each year.  This Christmas my list includes:

  1. Cast Iron Brownie Skillet @ Bed, Bath & Beyond (I am trying to curb my cookie habit with brownies…)
  2. Smart Wool Socks @ REI
  3. DeWalt Trim Router Kit @ Rockler, Wood Craft, Home Depot or Here
  4. The Gift of Bees @ Heifer International
  5. iPod Nano from Apple
  6. LunaTik Silver watch band for Nano @ MFG Website
  7. 1 box of .45cal Ball FMJ
  8. Red Iron Tagine @ Bed, Bath & Beyond
  9. 1 Bag of Kona Coffee @ This Online Shop
  10. Sam Adam’s Wheat Beer Glasses @ Their Online Shop (6th year on the list – hint, hint)
  11. Laser Guide for Mitre Saw @ Rockler
  12. Old Warner Brothers Cartoons @ Amazon (also like Tom & Jerry and Tex Avery ‘Toons)
  13. Subscription to Monocle Magazine
  14. Amazon, Apple, Starbucks, B&N cards
  15. A donation to Smile Train, MFS, ADA, Habitat for Humanity, or your local homeless shelter would really brighten up the holiday.

I sent a similar list to the kids, but I added a new truck, an awesome cyclocross bike, an Omega Seamaster Watch, World Peace, a new table saw…  you know, in case they are feeling generous this holiday season.

MIA – last seen with paint on new pants and sawdust in eye

/ Matt Talley / Leave a comment

I realized yesterday that haven’t posted anything for almost a month: no astute observations, not one pointed remark, no weird OCD-driven lists, no pictures of adventures at home and afield…. Nothing. Hmmmm.  I have just been REALLY busy!! It started with painting the living room, the kitched paint was next, we expanded into wiring a hot tub, I decided to finish up a furniture project, the breakfast table “needed” to be cut down, fancied up, and refinished.  I am heavy into finishing my incredibly overbuilt and way too complicated kitchen cabinets, Halloween came, there was Thanksgiving prep, I had to put the garden to sleep for the winter, blow all the water out of the yard irrigation system, clean the gutters (4th time this year – grumble, grumble… hate neighbor’s tree… grumble, grumble…). On top of it all, my J-O-B was INSANE: lots of late nights, weekends, travel, OT, pressure, stress, etc…

There is some proof of all the work that we have been doing – I have semi-updated the pictures on my project page, but remember that most were shot with an iPhone in crap conditions.  None of this pics are going to get me into National Geographic!

It hasn’t been all work though:  I have been able to go to the range with my cuddly .45s and punch holes in some zombies a good bit – fine, fine stress relief.  I mentioned Halloween – Stamps-With-Foot and I outdid ourselves again this year at our local Halloween party. We went as Wednesday and Pugsly Adams – a big hit at the festivities.   I went as a pimp to work – think Will Ferrel in The Other Guys movie: grill, blond ‘fro, leopard coat/fedora, purple faux croc high-heeled side-zippered boots, a pimp cane, crunk cup, loads of bling, coke nails – I had it down. A my fellow engi-nerds let me down though… Not one other costume in my group – not even a funny t-shirt!!  Sales had some good ones this year, HR was all in, the fiber optics group brought game, but Engineering sucked it! How is it all those people with big brains, imagination, and vast amounts of reasoning ability could not come up with something?! There are WOW players, Trekkies, SGA initiates, one D&D uber-geek, and every single one of them (including the female members of our team) have slave-girl Leia dreams…. They let me down, but I soldiered on and even gave a new-hire tour and orientation in my pimp-o-rific attire. I will not forget or forgive their breach of the nerd code! Philistines.

Speaking of my J-O-B, the long hours, travel, all the late meals out, and my general lack of physical motivation has gifted me with 20 extra pounds of fat compared to this time last year.  In essence, it is my own fault – my bikes are all sitting there waiting on me to love them, I have a sweet pair of new running kicks, A gym membership that we pay for every month, and a dusty yoga mat.  I HAVE to dig deep, put away work and get my butt moving or I will be the size of Jabba the Hutt in no time and the Wife is not into Slave Girl Leia…

I think that brings it all up to date for the most part. I will try to be more diligent about keeping up when life starts swirling around me.

How did I, of all people, miss this?!?!?!

/ Matt Talley / Leave a comment

Today is National Chocolate Chips Day!  Damn!!  Why didn’t I get some warning on this?!  I should already be well into my Chips Ahoy!-induced sugar coma – Face smeared with melted chips, shirt littered with crumbs, one shoe just gone, right hand clutching a batter encrusted beater, left hand resting on on an empty milk carton, and face etched with a smile…

The Original Tollhouse Cookie Recipe in below – Just like Mom makes!

  • 2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
  • 1 teaspoon baking soda
  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • 1 cup (2 sticks) butter, softened
  • 3/4 cup granulated sugar
  • 3/4 cup packed brown sugar
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 2 large eggs
  • 2 cups (12-oz. pkg.) NESTLÉ® TOLL HOUSE® Semi-Sweet Chocolate Morsels

PREHEAT oven to 375° F.

COMBINE flour, baking soda and salt in small bowl. Beat butter, granulated sugar, brown sugar and vanilla extract in large mixer bowl until creamy. Add eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Gradually beat in flour mixture. Stir in morsels. Drop by rounded tablespoon onto ungreased baking sheets.

BAKE for 9 to 11 minutes or until golden brown. Cool on baking sheets for 2 minutes; remove to wire racks to cool completely.

PAN COOKIE VARIATION: Grease 15 x 10-inch jelly-roll pan. Prepare dough as above. Spread into prepared pan. Bake for 20 to 25 minutes or until golden brown. Cool in pan on wire rack. Makes 4 dozen bars.

SLICE AND BAKE COOKIE VARIATION:
PREPARE dough as above. Divide in half; wrap in waxed paper. Refrigerate for 1 hour or until firm. Shape each half into 15-inch log; wrap in wax paper. Refrigerate for 30 minutes.* Preheat oven to 375° F. Cut into 1/2-inch-thick slices; place on ungreased baking sheets. Bake for 8 to 10 minutes or until golden brown. Cool on baking sheets for 2 minutes; remove to wire racks to cool completely. Makes about 5 dozen cookies.

* May be stored in refrigerator for up to 1 week or in freezer for up to 8 weeks.

FOR HIGH ALTITUDE BAKING (5,200 feet): Increase flour to 2 1/2 cups. Add 2 teaspoons water with flour and reduce both granulated sugar and brown sugar to 2/3 cup each. Bake drop cookies for 8 to 10 minutes and pan cookie for 17 to 19 minutes.

Girl Scout Cookie tally, so far…

/ Matt Talley / Leave a comment

CRAP!!  I have a body fat percentage hovering just under the Santa-level after a Thanksgiving and Christmas season filled with glutoney and sloth (I am looking at knocking the 5 other ones off as well…).  I am working semi-hard at the gym to rid myself of my marine-mammal worthy blubber, but that got shot in the foot yesterday with the arrival of my first six boxes of Girl Scout Cookies.  Jenny Craig here I come…  So far, I have purchased six boxes from a guy,s kid at work, my wife picked up four boxes from one of her employees, and we have four more on the way from a 12-year old family member.  Fourteen boxes of yummy, baked, CRACK!

Fourteen boxes is a bunch all by itself, but when you add the frozen cookie dough that I just bought from another coworker’s kid, the three chocolate bars I was wrestled into purchasing from the 12-year old Girl Scout’s sister, and the 5-10 boxes that I will get pressured into buying outside of my local grocery store, my future begins to become clear: I am going to turn into a fvckin’ Weeble Wooble…

Stepping up on my soapbox now: The little girls that stand with their mom outside Safeway are velociraptors!  Evidenced by the fact that they hunt their quarry in packs, are relentless, and unflinching:  They huddle as a would-be victim steps out of a car, then all break rank before their unwitting mark nears.   One, the cutest and most doe-eyed of the pack, will step right in front of you with a box in her small, outstretched hands and ask you to “Please” buy some of their crack.  While one fumbles with the “No Thank you, I am trying to be good” answer, two of her “sisters” move in from opposing oblique angles and simultaneously cut off a possible escape and present you with another box of baked love-handles to be.  You will end up walking around the store with a minimum of two boxes in your cart, getting the sad also-violated nod from the other addicts who have fallen for their Late Cretaceous Period-inspired snack-trap.

Stepping off my soapbox and returning to my box of Samoas…

The Sweetener Formerly Known as HFCS

/ Matt Talley / 7 Comments

Forgive me, but I am going to rant a little here…  Yesterday, the  New York Times reported (also picked up by CNN) that the Corn Refiners Association petitioned the United States FDA to “officially” re-label high-fructose corn syrup as “corn sugar.”  Thinking that the name change will improve the image of the “much maligned sweetener.”  Yeah, and Stalin was a cute teddy bear with a heart of gold…  Oh! Corn Sugar, well that is a different story, pour some more of that on my snowcone!  Mmmm, coffee with Corn Sugar is just like coffee with REAL sugar…  Fvck that.

What I really like is the new TV commercial ad campaign (Laurel told me about it this morning and I spent lunch watching the ads and parodies on YouTube) promoting HFCS as a “natural ingredient” made from corn.  HFCS is NOT a natural substance.  It does not occur in nature.  That is like saying Einsteinium or Americium are natural substances.  Fvcking lobbyists.  Apparently, according to the ads, it is fine to consume in moderation.  Hell, I can ingest Arsenic in moderation as long as I know what that quantity is.  What is the correct daily consumption amount for corn syrup?  How do you calculate it?

HFCS is in everything from bread to lunch meat, coke, the honey at KFC, and something like 9 out of 10 prepackaged foods found on your grocer’s shelves.  Americans are fat.  HFCS is in everything…  Brits and Germans are getting fat and HFCS is quickly gaining ground in their packaged food.  This is not differential calculus – it is simple math:   HFCS+you=lard ass.   Changing the name will not make us any less fat.  I quote from an industry source:

“The ingredient is a favorite of food makers for practical reasons. Compared with sucrose, high-fructose corn syrup doesn’t mask flavors, has a lower freezing point and retains moisture better, which is useful in making foods like chewy granola bars. And because the corn crop in the United States is heavily subsidized, high-fructose corn syrup is also cheap. As a result, it’s now used in so many foods, from crackers to soft drinks, that it has become one of the biggest sources of calories in the American diet.”

Cheap, easy to use, & government subsidized…  There is a lot more wrong here than just a product with a bad image in need of a name change!

My own personal groundhog

/ Matt Talley

Spring is a comin’…  The Girl Scouts are marshaling their pig-tailed, freckled forces for an assault on my waistline and dental health.   I don’t need to check on the ground hog’s shadow.  Spring for me comes with the first box of Somoas every year.  In case I hadn’t noticed the change outside from confines of my sugar-coma, the new grass is starting to sprout in our yard and a local nursery is selling seeds and bare-root plants.  I have spied a number of cyclists, clad head to toe in isolated spandex, on the bike paths and in the city.  I cannot wait for the warmer weather, sunny days, cycling to work, trail runs on something other than mud, and new sprouts in our garden.

Its Girl Scout cookie time again!!

/ Matt Talley

You know how a bear just knows it is time to hibernate and geese just know it is time to fly south for the winter? The wildebeests in Africa just know when and how to migrate across the savannah and the swallows just know that they have to fly to Capistrano. Well, I just know when Girl Scout cookie season is. I feel it in my bones. There is a scent in the air, my Spidy-sense starts humming a little, and I have a Pavlovian response to sage green – the color of their merit badge sashes. Living in Germany for two years wrenched havoc on my system during this annual cookie-lust. I would grow moody and distant as February closed, but now I am back and I can, with some guidance and moderation, enjoy this time of year once again. As a note, self-control with cookies has never an easy thing for me. My wife has to dole them out in my lunch over a two-month period and lock them in a secret location at night. I can’t be left alone with them or she will find me passed out in the kitchen floor with a quart of whole milk, 4-5 empty boxes littered around me, and the crumbs of dozens of Samoas, Thin Mints and Trefoils cascading down my chest. We all have demons and mine are cookie flavored.

All this would work like clockwork except I have been added to some super-secret watch-list available only to 8-10 year old girls and their den mothers. They must have my address details, picture, vital stats, and my feeding patterns. I get nailed by those cute innocent faces at work, at home on the weekends, and while walking into every grocery store in town. They will let other potential cookie-consumers walk by with just the ‘Would you like to buy some cookies?’ pitch. Then they see me coming from across the parking lot. They huddle, then as I near the door one will step in front of me with a box in her hands, flash me the big sad puppy eyes and ask me to “Please” buy some of their crack. Before I can stiff-arm the tike, fake right, roll left and make a break for it, one of her co-conspirators move in from an oblique angle and cuts off my escape with another box of yumminess, looking hopeful while batting her eye lashes. So far this season I have bought 9 boxes and my wife made me promises not to buy another box, but I am a weak, weak man…