Category: Kinfolk

Wedding Stress

/ Matt Talley

Why in the Hell would anyone choose to get married?! Not the commitment/loving one person forever part, the actual wedding part. The logistics of the thing are as complicated as planning an invasion of a small island country. Stressful is not the word for what this “little party for our family and friends” has become. Budget – long gone.   Nerves – frayed.

My lovely wife and I have been married for almost four years and are just now getting around to having the reception. We booked the event hall just after New Years and have spent the last 7 months planning, deciding, rethinking, deciding again, spending, organizing, finding a caterer, picking a menu, herding cats, applying for permits, cake tasting, choosing the proper glasses, wedding dress alterations, finding flowers, writing checks, wine tasting, finding a new caterer, buying kegs of beer, tracking down a violinist, making invitations, finding 7 matching ties in one place, forking over the credit card, DJ – band – or iPod?, finding rooms for out of town guests, writing vows, buying gifts, soothing ruffled feathers, renting suits, keeping feuding family in their respective corners, dealing with lost bridesmaid dresses, etc, etc, etc… It never fvcking ends.

I am at the point where I want to run screaming from our cute little house – abandoning my green yard, letting my tomatoes wither and set up a tent in the mountains where I can live like a hermit until all this is over! After all the wine and beer are gone, after everything has been cleaned, and after all the guests have all flown back to their respective cities and towns, I am going to stay home every weekend for a year, read my Sunday paper, work in the shop and on my yard/garden. I am not going to plan one single fvcking event, outing, or trip. I am going to church on Sundays, yoga on Saturdays, visit a few galleries, and go see a film or three. I am not going to take on any more projects and I am going to spend my off hours reading, writing, making love, cycling, running, climbing, and building cabinets.

When my kids and grandkids decide to get married, I am going to do my dead level best to bribe them into eloping and will give them a lump sum of cash that would have been spent on their wedding/reception as a down payment for a home.

post written on and uploaded from my iPhone

Having the Kids for the Summer

/ Matt Talley

I know have had the pleasure of accompanying  both of my children on their very first airplane flights.  It is a great big deal to me since I have spent hundreds of hours on an different aircraft in flight, I make my living in the industry, and my children’s college fund only expands because of the security of the aircraft business.  It is also a point of pride that I was part of an experience that they will remember for the rest of their lives.  In a small way I also hope that I have planted the seed of wanderlust in them.  I want them to travel to the ends of the earth and experience all that goes along with travel; learning self-sufficiency, broader views, a second or third language, cultural experience, etc…

When my daughter visited last year I accompanied her on her first ferry ride on which we crossed the waters of Puget sound for a Day trip on Bainbridge island.  This summer I have have the great pleasure to not only take my son on his first ferry ride, but to also be with him on his first train trip and his first experience on a wooden sailboat.  He loved the boat, I think, most of all and I can see a little spark of adventure travel starting to glow in his eyes.  My daughter will take a little more work – right now she hates to travel, hates cities and hates making decisions, but who knows, I may get to visit my grandchildren in their 300 year old French farm house surrounded by fields of lavender along the southern portion of the Route Du Napoleon…

This year, the only real first I got to experience in the company of my presently-surly 15-year-old daughter was to take her to her first professional sporting event.  We went to the Mariners vs. the Royals MLB game the night before she went home.  There is something about being 15 that make one hate almost everything, but she seemed to have a genuinely good time.  It didn’t hurt that we had AMAZING seats on the first-base line, eight rows up from the grass.  Baby steps: a new experience close to home, a cool new sight here, some exotic food there, a fine novel set in a far away place, and BAM! I am getting postcards from Japan.

Vancouver to Seattle Bike Tour

/ Matt Talley

Last year I did a 100+ mike bike ride for the American Diabetes Foundation.  I was telling my son about it over the phone – about how hard it was to cycle 100 miles and climb mountains and hills on a bike, when he said “Dad, that sounds REALLY cool.  Do you think we might could do something like that together someday…” Pride welled up in me and I said ‘yes!’  My Boy… taking up the mantel of his father’s interests.  My heart shined knowing that the adventurer bug had bitten deep and early with this one…. I have come to realize that it was not pride in my son, but my own hubris.

When planning out our yearly summer trip I threw in a “simple” bike ride from Vancouver, BC to Seattle – no big deal, right?  Wrong!  I mentioned it to my Father-in-law during the initial planing stages and he asked to come along – I of course said yes and soon after his brother, David, also joined our little two-wheeled group.  I did some route planning, a little bike tuning, changes a few parts here and there, and bought Carlton a tag-a-long bike/trailer before he arrived in Seattle.  I thought that it was all a done deal and we would have a relaxing little three day tour…

I spent four scary days on the road with my 9-year old son and the shear physicality of the ride was possibly the most demanding thing I have ever done on a bike.  While I plan to ride with Carlton as long as I am able, I will NEVER, EVER use a tug-a-bike trailer bike again.  It was squirrely, unstable, and heavy.  I spent 95% of the ride, freaked out about his safety and trying to keep us from hitting the ground.  …Shiver…

Pain and worry aside, the ability to ride with my son was AMAZING – even at its hilly worst!  I got out on the bike, my son was with me, and we spent some quality time with Laurel’s dad and uncle.  I was part of Carlton’s first train ride, his first ferry crossing, his longest bike ride, and his first trip to another country.  My 9 year old son’s strength and fortitude STUNNED me!  I could not have ridden 154 miles when I was 9.  He was terrific and I am so proud of him!  We spent the last night on a sailboat with our extended West Coast  family at Bainbridge Island Harbor and watched the fireworks on the 4th of July.  It was a fitting end to a glorious trip.

Forgive me for a lapse into cliché, but it really is about the journey rather than the destination.  I spent a lot of time twirling the pedals, and listening to him talk while all sorts of things ran through my monkey brain while trying to keep us in one piece.  I came to a few conclusions:

My son is sweeter than I was at his age
He is more stubborn
Bike Trailers SUCK!
My wife’s career is truly flowering and she is finding her way in the work-a-day world
I really and truly want to start my own business
I wish my sister and I were closer
Extra-Strength Tylenol is my forever friend
My father-in-law is loves the debate surrounding a question more than the answer
We (Carlton and I)  will spend more time together next year
My father-in-law is still on his journey of self discovery – what he wants to be when he grows up 🙂
I need to write more and finish a couple of articles and my Germany book
There are times that I need to unplug from my cell and e-mail
Tents are better than hotels
I need to prioritize projects at the house and start getting them done
There is a colleague at work who will throw me under the bus without thinking
My knees at 36 are not what they were at 21.
Man, bike trailers with 200lbs of 9-year-old and gear suck!!
The German language has a few REALLY cool words that I wish we used in English more. Trepswerter, Doch, Zeitgeist, Fremdschämen, and Schadenfreude
We have to turn off my cable as soon as Madison leaves this summer
I like the mix of languages during breakfast in an international hostel
Books make my heart happy
Mexican food + cycling for 3 days = BAD!
I need to end the clutter in my life and home office
I REALLY want a Kindle e-reader
Our children are windows to our own behavior and soul
I miss having a large group of friends and need to work on that
The mountains are calling me and I want to make a solo trek after September
Our upcoming wedding has become a serious stressor in my life
We need to trade the Subaru for a Honda.
I really do need 3 more bikes – really
Our bills in Germany piss me off
I love train travel more than any other type of long distance conveyance
Did I mention my feelings on bike trailers?


Man, I want me for a dad!

/ Matt Talley

By my own narcissistic reckoning, I am the coolest father a 9 year-old boy could have!  My son is coming for a few weeks this summer and I have planned a world of activities and sites that would make any of his buddies green with envy.   There will be: camping, pellet gvn shooting, a cross-country bike trip (more on that later), classic airplane tours, an Indian lodge tour, camp-fire building, rock climbing, BMX riding, tide-pooling, wood-shop projects, art, microscopes, telescopes, hiking, swimming, the Zoo, mountain climbing, beach combing, and berry picking.  I would dare any summer Camp to come up with a cooler curriculum – DOUBLE DOG DARE!

I must say that my son is no slouch in the woodsmanship department, but we are so raising the bar this year.  He could build a fire with flint and steel when he was 7, is a camping and backpacking machine, and whittles a bit.  Well, this summer he has  a shooting bench (just finished in the garage) to hone his target shooting skills,  we are making a custom whittling knife in the shop, there will be new lessons on how to build a campfire, and I am going to show him how to carve simple faces in drift wood.  We talked today and he is super-stoked about the plans.  He makes me so proud!!  He even told me “thank you” for “getting all this stuff together…”  I teared up on the phone and choked back tears like had I hit my thumb with hammer.  It made my whole week!

We may get into some kite-flying action and some fishing, but I am not too sure about that last one – I have apparently passed on the gene that precludes fish catching.  They just stop biting the minute I cast.  He has the same curse and time might be better spent exploring or doing.

“…you sure do gots a purdy mouth…”

/ Matt Talley

We spent the Memorial Day weekend with Laurel’s kinfolk in a cabin situated on a hillside above apple orchards that had an AMAZING view of Mt. Hood. It was a great weekend, full of laugher, campfire smoke, yummy fermented hop and wheat beverages, and good food.

1. Me playing the only three cords I know (the ones Leif just taught me)

2. The view from the deck every morning

3. A porch perfect for drinking coffee and playing the banjo…