My J-O-B issued cell phone was on its last legs: broken internal WiFi antenna, if I switched on “Airplane Mode” than I would have to power the phone down to get it to come out again. At the end, it wouldn’t text and I could receive calls, but not make them. It was a sad day when I turned her in to our IT department.

My iPhone was 3 years old; she lived a good life and was as good to me as a phone could be: We traveled the world together, took pictures in exotic locations, drunk texted my wife and friends, sent e-mail sealing $100K+ deals, jammed together on Seasick Steve and Hillbilly music, searched Wiki at the drop of a hat, we ran/biked/lifted together. I had the unlocked version and she took SIM cards from China, the US, Japan, France, Germany, and Morocco like a champ – nary a hiccup. She was my connection to the 21st century. I think her undoing was one to many drops while running and then I used her as a tether for 3 weeks while my home and office internet were down. It was more then her little chip-set could handle.

I was given an “upgrade” and a new Samsung Galaxy S5 showed up at my door. “Ummm, this isn’t an iPhone…” I uttered into the phone at my IT rep who sat in an office 5,000 miles and 7 time zones away. Don’t worry she said, smooth transition she said… Maybe Android will grow on me, maybe, but setting this thing up to be usable makes me feel like a semi-literate 5th grader taking the SATs. It only took 2 hours and two support calls to configure my three mail accounts, my contacts are floating around in the ether somewhere, I had to buy a couple Android apps to replace the Apple ones that I have come to depend on: Turbo Scanner and Photo Toaster. I use a budget/expense app that is not available in Android and my awesome classic pocket watch app, according to the developers, is forever to remain Apple only. Where the Hell is the flashlight function?!?!

My new phone also has the misfortune of being locked – both SIM and region. I had a wonderful experience with AT&T Customer Service, 4 calls actually, where I was finally informed that the only way that AT&T will unlock this bad boy is if my J-O-B buys the phone and the remainder of my contract outright and then pays them a substantial “fee” to unlock it 7-15 days later. OK, small semi-legal Turkish phone shop on a side street in Toulouse, I will soon be on my way to see you with 40 Euros in hand and let you settle this unlock business. Side Rant: I would like to mash the customer service groups of AT&T and Comcast together in Thunderdome and let them battle to the last. Really, really.

I will say that the screen resolution and processor speed are bad-ass! The thing is huge though. I am going to have to start buying pants and suits with bigger pockets.