Tag: My Black Heart

Off to the Antique Market we go!!

/ Matt Talley / Leave a comment

A couple of months ago while talking to my son on the phone, I mentioned that Stamps-With-Foot and I had been at the monthly Antique Market here in Toulouse. My boy, The Ruminator, started roaring with laughter and said something about how “…going antiquing was for old ladies!..” I let him laugh a while and then explained how awesome it was to find bobbles and treasures and cool stuff at the different stalls. He wasn’t having it and continued with the giggles. Fast forward to this past weekend (1st full weekend in March). My lovely wife and I planned the day out around going to peruse the market: Coffee and lunch and wine and crapes while touring strolling the lanes and bargaining for small bits, talking to the locals, and looking a treasures that we won’t ever be able to afford – the 7’X12′ landscape paining from 1930 or the french-polished table form the reign of Napoleon.

There was a little of everything to be found: a jar of brains, a VERY cool turtle, black powder shotguns, Persian rugs, linens, paintings, desks, tables, tapestries, rusted iron tools, old dolls, military medals, an anvil, low chairs, cutting blocks, glass ware, sculptures, books, etc… We ended up with an 18th century book stand from an Abby, a haberdasher’s display rack (our new entryway coat rack), a SWEET industrial Cast-Iron-legged table that has a 28″X72″ oak slab top that is over 100 years old! I also happened upon a rusty axe head in a stall full of miscellaneous crap that resembles a large 17th Century broad axe in the Armor and Weapons section of the Louvre. Not saying that this one is the same thing, but it looks REAL close. I immediately sent my son the following text:

“…Made fun of me for going to the Antiques markets… This weekend I got what looks like a 300 year old Battle Axe made for storming castles. It was $40. Too bad antiques are for old ladies and you won’t be going to any any markets while you are here. Are you laughing at me now? Mwahahaha!!…”

As a note, The Ruminator is enamored with Vikings, swords, castles, armor, and all things Medieval. I did my black heart some needed good to wave his antique-arrogance under his nose a little. It make the evil-inside almost giddy thinking about the “AWE MAN!” face he made when he read my note.

Below are some shots of both the market and our haul.

Brodie’s Letter To GrandPaw…

/ Matt Talley / 2 Comments

My father-in-law, The Chatty Buddha, sends us post cards and notes from his travels. He addresses all of them to our puppy, Brodie, to be funny/cute/antagonistic. Brodie was so excited about getting the most recent post card, that he decided to write back. With minimal help from me, Brodie crafted a fine document that if nothing else will bring my evil black heart delight each time I think back on it for years and years .

Some back story: The Chatty Buddha has made it clear to my sweet wife that he is not our dog’s grandpa and he bristles every time she refers to him as such. TCB is also a vest wearing machine. All sorts: green wool or plaid for casual dress, dark linen/wool for formal occasions, Polyester when outdoors, natural leather/suade for errands and family events, etc… If one were to dress as my father-in-law for Halloween, then a vest would be mandatory. The last and most important piece of information (at least for this tale) is that as a child, my wife had a very unruly dog that would lift its hind legs and scoot/drag his butt repeatedly accross expanses of carpet – usually in the same area that morning yoga practice was performed. God, I would have loved to have seen that man’s face after he put 2+2 together after first time he realized that his personal space had been violated in such a heinous manner. Anyway, when reminded of this part of his personal history or whenever the word “scoot “ is uttered, he blows up like a toad, gets all red and swears under his breath. Since I often show my love for people through teasing, I will take any opportunity to drop his favorite word or a mental image of the event into as many of our conversations as possible. I have even gotten the whole family to refer to his house as: Case Da La Scooter. It makes me happy. With all that in mind, please read the below transcript of the card that Brodie sent to his GrandPaw(SIC) – reading aloud makes it funnier.

Dear GrandPaw,

Thank you fur sending me another poste card! It makes me so happi that you luv me like I luv you – well, you and my stuffed monkey!

I can’t wait too see you again so you can see my new vest – mommy says that you luv vests too! I can show you my new tricks like: WAIT and I am doing super awesome at HEEL – except when I see a kat – I hate kats! Daddy has taught me to scoot. It makes me very klean! And feels yummy for my bottom. Daddy says that I get to show you, but that I shud practice where you Yoga “because it is Zen there.” You R gonna Be so pround of me GrandPaw!

Kisses,
Brodie