Tag: Milk – cookies – Scotch Toddy

Dear Santa -2012

/ Matt Talley / Leave a comment

Dear Santa,

Below is my Christmas list for this year. I have been pretty good – no felonies. Please take a look and feel free to buy directly from the list or use it as a guide for the elves in the workshop – nudge, nudge, wink, wink…

Smart wool socks
For the all crazies at Westboro Baptist Church to smitted repeatedly with a bat.
A pair of red Chuck Taylor low tops – size 9.5.
Gift to Heifer International: Bees, goats, water buffalo…
Books: Theadore Roosevelt: a Strenous Life, American Sniper, Twilight at Monticello, Founding Foodies
Movie ticket/theatre gift cards
Zombie Targets
A new shaving mug
Illy coffee, Jamacan Blue Mountain, or REAL kona coffee
Wood burning kit from Woodcraft or Rockler
Don Julio tequila
Cabellas gift card
Glenlivet 12/15 or Glenfiddich 18 Scotch
For the both congressional houses to play nice and get some shit done.
Sam Adams “perfect” beer glass – set of 4
Any item from my Amazon Wish List

Now that you have been provided the above list for review don’t even consider bringing any weak-ass “Top Fiction” crap from the local B&N, fake Moleskines, cheap beer, ground Starbucks coffee, calculator watches, or any item that even remotely reminds me of Twilight. And don’t be gettin’ uppity when you slide down the chimney this year: We both know that the cookies and milk my wife leaves out are for me. If you touch my cookies there will be an elf beat down. Seriously. I will leave the liquor cabinet open again this year. As per our previous agreement, help yourself to the Bourbon. As long as you stick to the list, Mrs. Kringle will never know about you, Jim, Jack, & Johnny…

Merry Christmas, Santa!

2011 Christmas list

/ Matt Talley / Leave a comment

Every year, instead of bumbling around at the last minute and either spending WAY too much coin on a guilt-riddled extravagant present or buying the completely wrong thing that we will each smile over and pretend to like on Christmas morning, my sweet wife and I exchange Christmas lists in mid November.  We don’t get the other one every item on their respective list or even most of them – they are used as a gift guide and if a couple or three things from the list show up under the tree then all the better.  For me, it really cuts down on the ugly ties, strange t-shirts, and books I will never read.  We do the same things with the kids, so that we have a general idea of what they are into each year.  This Christmas my list includes:

  1. Cast Iron Brownie Skillet @ Bed, Bath & Beyond (I am trying to curb my cookie habit with brownies…)
  2. Smart Wool Socks @ REI
  3. DeWalt Trim Router Kit @ Rockler, Wood Craft, Home Depot or Here
  4. The Gift of Bees @ Heifer International
  5. iPod Nano from Apple
  6. LunaTik Silver watch band for Nano @ MFG Website
  7. 1 box of .45cal Ball FMJ
  8. Red Iron Tagine @ Bed, Bath & Beyond
  9. 1 Bag of Kona Coffee @ This Online Shop
  10. Sam Adam’s Wheat Beer Glasses @ Their Online Shop (6th year on the list – hint, hint)
  11. Laser Guide for Mitre Saw @ Rockler
  12. Old Warner Brothers Cartoons @ Amazon (also like Tom & Jerry and Tex Avery ‘Toons)
  13. Subscription to Monocle Magazine
  14. Amazon, Apple, Starbucks, B&N cards
  15. A donation to Smile Train, MFS, ADA, Habitat for Humanity, or your local homeless shelter would really brighten up the holiday.

I sent a similar list to the kids, but I added a new truck, an awesome cyclocross bike, an Omega Seamaster Watch, World Peace, a new table saw…  you know, in case they are feeling generous this holiday season.