I will end up muttering to myself.

I have come to both love and accept my wife’s little quirks. I don’t understand them all and from time to time I have to just shake my head and mutter after finding something odd in the recycling or noticing that kitchen silverware was used to dig in the flower beds for example. I have also discovered that it is best to work within the confines of these quirks instead of confronting them/her with what most people would call reason. That confrontation would lead to a two hour discussion that would, in turn, lead nowhere. I would have to apologize for even bringing it up and then I would have to buy her something shiny for my transgression. In the end, I would be right back where I started – muttering to myself and slowly shaking my head with my lips pursed in an expression of both frustration and amazement.

Stamps-With-Foot is very visual and she has to SEE something for it to be real for her. Visualization of a concept like arranging pictures on the wall, where flowers COULD go in the yard, or where to move a chair in the living room is an exercise in frustration. This normally means that after a week+ of debating where a piece of furniture should go, I will move it 4-9 times before she decides that the original decision was the correct one. This comes up for me because we have been talking about to swapping offices at home. Her sewing/estrogen room will go upstairs to the sunny well-lit wood-floored bedroom at the front of our house and I will move my faux-Edwardian office/man-cave into the basement so that it will be co-located to my tiny hobby machine shop, work bench, and our den: A win/win for us both of us as long as I don’t have to move crap up and down and around for two days.

In the spirit of working with her previously addressed/documented traits, I formulated a plan to have it all work in my favor. I measured and drew a scale model of the room upstairs, showing locations of the doors, windows, and air vents. Then, I made scale cutouts of all the furniture that she could possibly have in the room. I left her with the drawing and cutout so that she could torment and second guess herself in peace while I went into the basement and worked on my new machine shop bench. 24 hours later and after looking at every possible combination at least 6 times, she had determined a location for each and every twig for her sewing nest and taped her choices for furniture location down on the drawing. I have elicited a promise that her decision is a final one and that if there is a change in any of the locations it will be made before the very first piece is picked up and humped upstairs.

Now all that is left for me to do is to bribe/con some friends and neighbors into helping move all the crap, putting it in its designated place and then to disappear in to my basement to plot my plan for world domination…. Mwahahahaha….

Basement Bench and Winter Workshop

I have found that my workshop productivity goes way down in the winter/the six months of Seattle rainy season.  My garage shop is small and quickly fills with material, lumber, tools, and projects.  To add to the handicap of the small size, the lack of heat means that I can’t do any finish-work because of wood humidity, shrinkage/swell, and moisture.  I have made do in the unfinished side of our basement for the past three winters, but I am done my wife is done with the mess and clutter and my bitching about an inadequate work area when the weather turns crappy.  I need a little bit of dedicated space that I can work on the small stuff year round that doesn’t require power tools and a little bit of assembly/finish  space where I can glue and clamp some projects up, a solder station, a spot to reload ammo, work on my bikes, and  a clean/dry/warm space to apply stain or a hand-laid finish coat.  Add to this my current want of a small metal lathe and mill and I will have the makings of a nice little hobby shop from which to launch my plans for world domination …er, I mean a spot where I can make small parts, solder, or tinker.

Anyway, instead of buying a crazy expensive cabinet bench or making do with a thin metal and partial board Home Depot bench, I have decided to build the sturdiest all-around hobby bench that I can with the funds and material I have available (~$130.00), add some really nice features (aluminum t-track, lots of drawers, removable vises, power, lights, etc…) and make it into a finished piece of furniture that I will be proud to sit at and show off to friends for the next 30+ years.  To start the process off, I found a cheap older thick steel framed 6′ workbench at Second Use that I felt would make a bombproof, rock solid base.  I sourced a used IKEA cutting-board counter top that I cut down to the appropriate size and then used the trimmed pieces to add thickness and rigidity (I am still going to add some angle iron).  I thought about and sketched 3-9 different ways to add some shelving and some organization to the top and was still tossing around options in my head when a realized that an old buffet that my mom had just might work.  I took some measurements and looked into reinforcing here and there and realized that not only would it work, but that its style would set the tone and color for the entire bench build.

I decided that the drawers to be added under the bench top needed to be narrow and at least partially match the newly planned top section, so I looked for an older desk or vanity that I could cut apart.  I struck out at Goodwill, the Salvation Army, and Craig’s List, but Second Use came through again and hooked me up with exactly what I needed at a decently fair price, well decent after I haggled a bit…

The current state of the build is that the bench top is 2/3 done, the desk is cut apart, the steel legs are up and in place and I am 1/4 of the way done with reinforcing the buffet/top shelving unit.  I will update the build as it is completed and share some more pictures.

Someone call PETA…

Our dog lives a hard life…  No one loves this dog…  Mistreated he is…

We make him sleep in the bed, nap on the heating pad with a blanket, his food is warmed up, there is a bushel basket full of toys, someone is with him all day and he has a drawer full of vests and sweaters.  Treats fill his life and Stamp-With-Foot forces him to snuggle.  I am shocked that the neighbors have not called the Department of Animal Welfare on us.

I do love me a Japanese 4X4

Some friends of ours are downsizing their lives and are planning to quit their jobs and take an extended around the world trip.  We were helping them move some of their stuff to a smaller place and I asked the Man-Friend in the relationship what he was going to do the what I assumed was a non-running older 4X4 truck in front of the house.  He said I could have it.  Ughhhh….  I tried to let him off the hook telling him to think about it and when he kept on saying I could “Have” it, I offered to pay him what he had in it or what he paid for it.  Nope.  He gave me the truck.  I couldn’t say no.  I just couldn’t.  I love the design and construction of Japanese 4-wheel drives.  They are super tough and if maintained, extra dependable.  There was no way I was going to just let a free one scoot past me.

Turns out that the truck both runs and has a clear title.  It is a blue 1989 Dodge Ram 50, single cab – that is what the title says anyways.  In reality it is a Mitsubishi MightyMax that Dodge imported, did not touch, and slapped their name on.  the ’89 model was the 1st year of the 2nd generation of the truck and had a 2.6 liter, I4 forklift engine in it.  If serviced, they will run for 400K+ miles.  Our new steed has 183K on it and needs a ring and valve job – smokes on start up and won’t pass smog.  It needs some tires, shocks, tranny service, hub locks, and some electrical work, but it was FREE!

I need another project in my life like I need a meteor hole in my roof, but I think after a little work it will make both a commuter for my mom and a dependable truck to troop over to the grocery store, Home Depot, drive into the mountains, or to haul the occasional thrift store treasure. 

I haven’t thought of a name just yet – we haven’t had enough time together:  No share hardships endured.  We haven’t moved together in the pouring rain. Zero late night beer runs through a dry-county.  No women have been wooed. No mountains climbed…. A name will come in time.

The Never Ending Hutch

Right after we bought our place, I saw an add on Craig’s List for a huge hutch.  It piqued my interest and I went by to take a look at it.  A builder had pulled it out of a church school in Queen Anne, but it had been in the rectory library before that.  It was in really bad shape: paint splattered here and there, broken and missing trim, missing glass, dents, dings, scratches, etc…  Even with all that, I saw potential.  After some surprise haggling, I loaded it on my truck and brought it home.  This was right after I had shoulder surgery for the fourth time, so I would not be man-handling two 8 foot by 4 foot sections of furniture…  I picked up some laborers in the Home Depot parking lot by the house and had them load it into my basement where it sat taking up space for three months before I felt strong enough to tackle the job.  Below is the truncated build process in 67 easy steps:
  1. Looked at hutch for too long and decided to get it done.
  2. Started with bottom section – doors removed.
  3. Stripped off all old paint and varnish from outside with “environmentally friendly” orange stripper.
  4. Scraped and scraped stripper off.
  5. Cussed “environmentally friendly.”
  6. Put more stripper on.
  7. Scrubbed off again.
  8. Wife helped for 40 minutes, hated it and didn’t touch either section again.
  9. Shoved a 1″ splinter under one of my fingernails.
  10. Said the “F” word 5+ times, bled on base & floor and thought about cutting it all up for firewood.
  11. Washed whole thing with paint thinner to stop the stripper residue from working any more.
  12. Let dry and sanded whole case with 120 grit.
  13. Sanded with 220 grit.
  14. Sanded again with 220 grit.
  15. Stained with a crazy pricey, but color-matched mahogany tinted oil-based stain.
  16. Used wife’s special dish gloves.
  17. The old, old fir had issue with the stain and was a little splotchy in some really key spots.
  18. Was grumpy for two days.
  19. Second coat of stain used to blend some areas.
  20. Put on first coat of wipe-on poly acrylic semi-gloss finish.
  21. Wife found stain covered dish gloves and I got in trouble.
  22. Went to store and bought wife new gloves.
  23. 24 hours later, scuffed finish with white 3M pad and applied finish coat 7 more times.
  24. Spent HOURS on the final coat.
  25. Repeated all above steps with the four raised panel doors.
  26. Installed 100+ year old glass pull-knobs on doors.
  27. Whole process took two months.
  28. Moved base into finished side of basement for use as a media cabinet and LCD TV base.
  29. Went downtown to Chinese-owned granite shop on Seattle’s 1st Ave and haggled over granite for top.
  30. I am a poor negotiator in Chinese.
  31. Left and came back with Mandarin speaking co-worker.
  32. Got GREAT deal on custom top.  1/12th of the price that I was quoted at Home Depot – really!
  33. Built A-frame jig for back of truck to haul granite.
  34. Picked up top and hauled home.
  35. Bribed 4 neighbors to help move it into place.
  36. Neighbors won’t answer my call anymore…
  37. Four months from start to finish.
  38. Two weeks later I started the top section.
  39. Decided to make top section into a living room “built-in.”
  40. Built, painted and installed new 8″ base for the top section in our living room to match existing trim.
  41. Removed the doors, hardware, and hinges.
  42. Repeated steps above with the exception of splinter under nail and use of wife’s gloves: I learned my lesson the first time.
  43. Cut hole in back for outlet already on wall.
  44. Had other, unsuspecting neighbors help me move the top section up.
  45. New neighbors called me names after it was all done.
  46. Hole for outlet 1″ off to the left.
  47. Said hateful words.
  48. Grumpy again.
  49. Calmed down and used Dremel tool and coping saw to remove section from one side and glued it to other side.
  50. Trimmed out outlet hole.
  51. Stained and finished outlet trim.
  52. Had wedding and took 30 day break in the rebuild/refinish process.
  53. Started looking for matching trim and crown molding at reclaimed lumber yards.
  54. No Luck.
  55. Had crown custom milled at high cost by a shop in SODO that had 90 year old machines running on their floor (shop closed about a month after I was there last 🙁
  56. Started the process of refinishing the doors.
  57. Installed crown molding.
  58. Shot nail through molding and into palm on final piece of crown.
  59. Bled on top of hutch – no dirty words.
  60. Installed refinished doors.
  61. Built two interior shelves out of 80 year old fir floor boards.  Stained and finished – look original!
  62. Smacked the back of my head when installing shelves and almost knocked myself out.
  63. Sourced and purchased piece of wavy restoration glass to match original broken pane.
  64. Stained and finished the crown.
  65. Put final coat of trim paint on the new base.
  66. Installed the one missing glass pane.
  67. 5 months after base installed the top is done and looks like it has been in our place since 1928.
Never again.

The Tooth Fairy is now banned from my office…

I had a crown replaced seven years ago before we moved to Germany because the original was bugging me a little.  The one I had put on was worse than the original and I have suffered with sensitivity since then and decided that something finally had to be done about it when it moved while I was eating – very uncool.  I had it taken off, was fitted for a new porcelain crown and had a temporary put on last Monday.  The difference was immediate:  The temp crown felt great and the sensitivity was just gone.  I really didn’t get how crappy the old crown made me feel until the new temporary one was put on.  All was going great until the next Friday afternoon.  I was sitting in a customer meeting and coughed a little and out popped my composite crown.  HOLY KELLY CLARKSON!! The exposed nerve or whatever was going on reached down my jaw, all the way up to in front of my ear and squeezed.  I tread really, really hard to make it through the meeting.  I had to answer a question, air hit my exposed tooth and I had to excuse myself, post haste.  Nothing says classy and professional like losing a tooth during a meeting…

I went to a dentist by my office and they couldn’t or wouldn’t put the temp back on because the “didn’t want to alter the tooth bed and affect the fit of the permanent crown…”  Horseshit.  My dentist was closed for a 4-day weekend, but I got through to her on her emergency number and she met me at her office 25 minutes later.  She took care of it in 10 minutes, was REALLY nice about me calling on her day off and gave me some temporary cement is case it happens again before my permanent crown comes in and I can’t get a hold of her.

Stamps-With-Foot’s Garden

Seattle has suffered through a weeks of freezing fog, stagnant air, flu season, and intermittent rain. The weather has me longing for long September evenings in our back yard….

2012 was a great year for us outside and in the yard. Stamps-With-Foot had her greening thumb put to work and our garden was crazy plentiful, in part because of her planting of mutant green squash and her nightly wine sipping/watering regimen. She moved dirt, turned the compost, picked berries, planted, harvested, pruned, cut bushes, dug in the dirt, and even removed a slug or two. I was very proud of her!

That hard work and spent energy was put to good use and we traded our bounty of veggies with the neighbors, she froze raspberries and blackberries that we both toiled over and my sweet wife made countless spinach and arugula salads from plants that we grew. To top it all off, she turned some of our tomatoes into chutney that was canned to make Christmas gifts. She is turning into quite the little homesteader.

A summer glamping trip to Mt. Adams, WA

All the rain, cold, flu and grey skies have me reminiscing about warmer weather and adventures we had this summer:  Stamps-With-Foot and I were working and traveling like mad.  We were almost burnt out, needed a break and deciding the embracing arms of Mother Nature were in order.  A couple that we hang out with was also in a camping state of mind so we planned a little weekend trip to the big woods.  A lakeside campground on the slopes on Mt. Adams was chosen and my brother-in-law and his lady friend were invited as well.

This was not a hike ten miles with all our crap sort of outing.  We packed up the truck with all our Glamping goodies and bits and drove south one Friday afternoon after work.  5 hours later (traffic, road closures, notes tacked to trees, a campsite change, a lying GPS, etc…) we pulled into camp with good wine, cold beer, salmon fillets and steak waiting for us…  This is how all camping trips should start!

We slept in and when we finally did find the initiative to leave our queen sized blow-up bed, we were greeted with a crystal clear lake and a postcard view of the mountain from the door of our tent.

It was a weekend of no cell phones or e-mail, but lots of cast iron cookware, campfires, smores, beer, scotch, laughing, panoramic views and relaxation.  Just what the Dr. ordered after a really hectic week.

Pottery Barn Blanket Chest Refinish/Resale

I was perusing the furniture isles of the Goodwill in South Seattle a few months back looking for a few pieces that I could put a little work into and turn for a profit.  I have found some amazing stuff there that has been donated:  an $800+ mid-century 8-drawer dresser for $59, solid wood buffets, a camel saddle, hand knotted carpets, two Morris chairs, etc..  It is not always a gold mine – I find something I can turn maybe  one out of three or four trips.  On this walk, I spied a solid wood and black iron hardware blanket chest that had some heavy water damage on the top.  I opened it up, twirled it around to look for a makers mark and any unseen damage.  Nope, it was a sound piece.  I hopped on my iPhone and looked it up on the Interwebs…  I found that it was originally sold at Pottery Barn for almost $400 and I whisked the thing to the front, dropped $39 off at the register and ran out the door.

I gave it a light sanding (320 grit) all over, gave the top some serious attention with 120 then 220 grit sand paper, and layered in some mixed mahogany and dark walnut stain to color match the top before putting on three coats of satin polyurethane finish a couple of days later.  After it was done, we were teetering on the fence about keeping what had been returned to a really nice piece of furniture, but our limited space and us not having a clear need for a blanket chest led to the decision to sell it.

I dropped it off at one of the local consignment shops on a Saturday morning and it was sold within two hours.  I pocketed $89 after paying for the chest, supplies and the store’s cut.  Not too shabby for a 3-mile drive, some stain/poly, and an hour of my labor.

Wooden Nightstand Build

My sweet sweet wife has issues with the color green – most shades. While living in Hamburg, we had a tiny bedroom that Stamps-With-Foot wanted to paint “sage green.” She bought the paint at Max Barr (a Teutonic version of Home Depot) brought it home and painted a little swatch on the wall. It was kinda dark, so she painted the whole wall. Still kinda dark. She then painted the whole room. I came home and my bedroom was Olive Drab, Army Green… It took me two coats of primer and three coats of paint to banish the darkness.

Flash forward a few years to Seattle. We have replaced all of our MDF particle board IKEA crap furniture with real wood pieces with the exception of our night stands. I hate them. Hate. I traded my mother a couple bookshelves for a former dressing table/vanity that was deeply scratched in places and had a couple of drawers that wouldn’t budge. It was in two pieces already and I shortened the legs, stripped off some of the old finish and prepped them for paint. Stamps-With-Foot wanted the pieces to match our 1930’s bedroom set, which has a sage green accent color. The plan is to have the bodies painted green, use a soft sunflower yellow for the accent and to completely strip the top and drawer fronts and coat them with a polyurethane so that the natural color and grain would pop. I had primed them, sanded, primed again, and grabbed some color swathes for her to choose from. She chose a fine green and I had it custom mixed at my local Benjamin Moore store (friends don’t let friends buy paint at Home Depot). I had two smooth coats sprayed on before my sweet wife decided they were the wrong color green. I tried in vain to talk her out of making me swap the color. I tried really hard – I even mentioned the Hamburg incident. No dice, the color WOULD be changed.

I showed up at the paint store with a picture frame for them to color-match, ignored their snickers, bought all new paint, went home, sanded, and resprayed both pieces with two coats of the “new” green. I painted the accent color and rubbed the color into the cracks before washing it off the high spots. The tops were polyurathaned, drawers were fixed, dividers installed, fronts refinished, 100+ year old glass knobs bought/installed, and then I carried them up to our Master Suite and my sweet bride gushed over them. Her delight made my heart happy.

In my heart of hearts I know she is still second guessing the 2nd color choice, but I have sworn to myself that if she changes her mind again she will be banned from deciding house/furniture/accent colors for the term of one year and that I will turn the basement into a mountain chalet-themed man cave- which might happen anyway, I am just really looking for an excuse to belay my guilt.

Weekend Update – 1/7/13

My son was here for a week+ for the holidays and we did cool stuff as he is the Igor to my Dr. Frankinstein. He left on Friday morning and to keep myself occupied so I wouldn’t mope around all weekend thinking about how much I missed him, I busied myself with a few on-going projects:

Underbed dresser – 95% done
Letterpress drawers made into occasional tables – 50%
The never ending kitchen remodel – 85%
Sofa table rebuild – 20%
Bathroom drawer for wife – 50%
Candle box – 100%
Glass cabinet handle installation – 45%
Hall mirror – 22%
Helping a friend move – 50%
Etc…

While fitting the final pieces of the under bed dresser (built from an 1980s $4.00 garage sale upright five drawer) for our room and I transposed  two numbers and cut something a touch too long. Grumble… Grumble…  I went out to the shop, measured for screw clearance and put it on the table saw to rip down just a touch. I missed one screw, but my $56 carbide tipped cabinet blade didn’t. Sparks and bits of carbide flew. I said dirty words and came into the house to drown my sorrows in a Mexican coke, Jack with honey and an old Clint Eastwood western while propped up in bed with my grumpy face on.

2012 Gift to Heifer

As a follow up to a previous post about our plan to give Heifer International a menagerie of animals as our charity goal for the year: we just got a confirmation e-mail that our $250 donation for one goat, one pig, and a share of rabbits was received. I have stashed change and $1 bills back since July to have for Heifer so that they can continue their mission of giving, training, and hope. It will provide animals and knowledge that will change lives for the good.

My mother gave a gift of bees in my name for my birthday and I have talked a couple of folks at work into donating a little something this year. Other than the families that this will help, the highlight of this process was my son’s involvement. We talked to him about Heifer, the work that they do, and into donating what he would have spent on our gifts to the cause. I am so very proud of him and we will send him a copy of the mailer we will get in the next few months explaining just where the money went and what our gift has done.

I wish we could have done a LOT more and we will do so next year. Please take a moment, do a little research into the charity, and give what you can.


Dear Santa -2012

Dear Santa,

Below is my Christmas list for this year. I have been pretty good – no felonies. Please take a look and feel free to buy directly from the list or use it as a guide for the elves in the workshop – nudge, nudge, wink, wink…

Smart wool socks
For the all crazies at Westboro Baptist Church to smitted repeatedly with a bat.
A pair of red Chuck Taylor low tops – size 9.5.
Gift to Heifer International: Bees, goats, water buffalo…
Books: Theadore Roosevelt: a Strenous Life, American Sniper, Twilight at Monticello, Founding Foodies
Movie ticket/theatre gift cards
Zombie Targets
A new shaving mug
Illy coffee, Jamacan Blue Mountain, or REAL kona coffee
Wood burning kit from Woodcraft or Rockler
Don Julio tequila
Cabellas gift card
Glenlivet 12/15 or Glenfiddich 18 Scotch
For the both congressional houses to play nice and get some shit done.
Sam Adams “perfect” beer glass – set of 4
Any item from my Amazon Wish List

Now that you have been provided the above list for review don’t even consider bringing any weak-ass “Top Fiction” crap from the local B&N, fake Moleskines, cheap beer, ground Starbucks coffee, calculator watches, or any item that even remotely reminds me of Twilight. And don’t be gettin’ uppity when you slide down the chimney this year: We both know that the cookies and milk my wife leaves out are for me. If you touch my cookies there will be an elf beat down. Seriously. I will leave the liquor cabinet open again this year. As per our previous agreement, help yourself to the Bourbon. As long as you stick to the list, Mrs. Kringle will never know about you, Jim, Jack, & Johnny…

Merry Christmas, Santa!

Christmas Redecorating

Each year after Thanksgiving, we take an afternoon, go to our local tree-seller and pick out a fine Noble Fir for our Christmas tree. I then pull out our integrated reservoir tree stand, a carpenter’s level, and set the whole assemblage on top of our large, round, lipped Christmas tree spill pan – I have very vivid nightmares about water stains on my wood floor…

Like most households that celebrate Santa/Christmas/Yule/Midwinter/etc…: The tree goes up, the ornaments come out, stockings are hung, etc. The only twist in our home is that in all reality, I am relegated to unpacking the 4 boxes of our handmade glass, pewter, and pine German ornaments and my participation in hanging them on the tree is verboten due to Stamps-With-Foot’s Tannenbaum OCD. Here is how it goes:

Tree in stand.
Wife surveys the straightness.
Tree adjusted.
Christmas music marathon begins
Dog trots in and notices tree.
Gets pissed off, turns his back to us and the tree and stares at the wall.
Slinks away after 30 minutes – Brodie HATES Christmas.
Tree adjusted again.
Tree must be turned to see which side is the best.
Decision made.
Lights put on.
Tree turned again.
Light strands removed.
Lights put back on in almost exactly the same place.
Light cords hidden.
Ornaments come out.
Lights on.
I have to turn the tree again.
Re-adjust.
Move some of the lights around.
Possible trimming of branches will happen at this point.
Hand wife ornaments – glass balls first.
Wife will walk back and forth and back and forth searching for perfect branch.
Previous step repeats about 150 times.
I am banned from giving her camping or climbing themed ornaments to place.
I sneak one onto the tree in the midst of her frenzy.
I go away and hang lights outside or hide from her Yuletide decorating wrath.
Find dog brooding over the nasty tree in HIS house and plotting to bite this Kris Kringle guy.
Toward the end of the evening, I am called back and I am allowed to hang 2-4 ornaments in a place I see fit.
Wife then moves them at least twice.
Tree trimming done 2-4 hours later.
I go to bed and twitch in my sleep to the beat of Nat King Cole, Elvis, Perry Como, and Sinatra as holiday music plays into the night…
Dog watches me sleep with hate in his heart because I was the one who carried the tree in.
Wake up sometime later and tree has been moved and completely rearranged.
Camping/Climbing ornament that I surreptitiously placed has been found, removed and place conspicuously on the table.
I look sheepish and she gives me the stink-eye over my transgression.
Presents are arranged by wife in a “certain order.”
Christmas music back on – maybe it never went off…
Brodie is put into his Santa outfit.
He somehow looks sad and furious at the same time.
There will be consequences for the red elf jacket that was forced upon him!
Am not allowed to touch area near tree until pictures are made.
Wife giggly happy.
Presents and ornaments rearranged at least once every three days until Christmas morning.

To save myself some work and time, I told her this year that I “could build” a lockable turning base so that she could move the tree over and over during initial setup and for decorating. You should of seen her face light up. The mere thought of it led to her running over and jumping on me saying “YES, YES, PLEASE, PLEASE!” I do love her.

Film Friday – 1st Double Feature

Dirftwood. Boards washed up on the beach in a storm. Below is a film in which two guys take a section of lumber found on the Oregon coast and turn it all into functional one-of-a-kind surfboard. Building something both useful and beautiful from reclaimed wood is a thing to aspire to.

Experiment No. 3 – Scrap Surf from Shwood Eyewear on Vimeo.

Jack Daniel’s is the only distillery in the US that still makes its own wooden barrels. Although the process is automated, the production of the coopered tubs that make the aging and mellowing of this fine Tennessee Bourbon possible is mesmerizing to watch.

The Birth of a Barrel from Travis Robertson on Vimeo.

Weekend Update

We had an eventful, rain soaked weekend. Lots of stuff got done, but it wasn’t the sort of thing that great novelists write thought provoking prose about. Maybe a SNL skit though. Details below.

Friday:
Home from work and into jammies.
Sent some e-mail and web-surfed.
Yummy pizza for dinner.
Finished watching season 6 of Dexter – Debra KNOWS!!
Heard weird water noise outside of basement window…
SHIT!!! Gutters clogged!
Ran outside, pulled ladder out, said DIRTY WORDS.
Up on rickety old wooden extension ladder after midnight in a rainstorm…
Prayed for the death of my neighbor’s pine tree.
No, really. Prayed for the tree to die or for neighbor to sell me his house so I can have the pleasure of turning it into mulch.
Dried off and apologized to Stamps-With-Foot for snapping at her while 15′ in the air, digging out leaves from the clogged downspout.
Off to bed.
Passed out and dropped Kindle on the floor -still works.

Saturday:
Up at 10:00 – no time for coffee – grrrrrr…
Drove downtown with my mother to see a talk by Clay Jenkinson – a Jefferson and TR scholar – my two favorite presidents.
Coffee and half a cookie for brunch – health food…
Presentation was great – funny and enlightening.
Took Mother to grocery store then home.
Called The Ruminator and chatted about Christmas lists and school and stuff.
Cleaned living room floors and rug.
Cussed the neighbor’s tree again – pine needles everywhere.
HATE that tree.
Took sweet wife to see shiny vampire movie instead of new 007 – we suffer for those we love.
Snuck food and cookie into movie.
Came home and obsessively checked gutters for clogs and basement for water for the next 24 hours.
Cursed tree – shook fist at it like an old man.
Spent some time in the hot tub in the rain relaxing/fantasizing about a chainsaw, limbs on the ground, and wood chips everywhere while laughing maniacally.
Went to look at Pintrest “for a minute” before bed – closed iPad 4 hours later at 3:45am.

Sunday:
Slept late.
Breakfast.
Skype/FaceTime call with friends in Germany.
Miss them.
Worked on mid-century modern style bookshelf for bedroom.
Poked 20ish holes in wall looking for a studs. Stud-finder worthless on plaster walls.
Threw stud finder.
Hung shelf in a partial stage of completion. Will paint later.
Worked out Christmas budget with sweet wife.
Re-arranged living room to make room for Christmas tree.
Set iPad on top of built-in hutch to keep it out of the way and “safe.”
Watched helplessly as iPad slipped into crack and fell 5 feet and between hutch and wall.
Stared at wood, disbelieving.
Said foul, vile, hateful things.
Paused to collect myself.
Said foul, vile, hateful things again.
Contemplated getting the sledge hammer and splitting maul out.
Had to walk away before I broke stuff.
Went to Target: mood did not improve.
Shopped for Christmas tree in driving cold rain: mood still poor.
Found a nice, full 7′ tall Noble Fir.
Let tree air dry a bit and put it up in living room.
Worked on Christmas cards with sweet wife.
Wrote some funny stuff on cards to friends and family.
Went out to my little shop and cut two long 1/2″X5/8″ sticks of fir & popular.
Attached L-bracket to the ends.
Fished iPad out using the chopstick technique.
Wife so impressed, she bragged about my big ol’ brain on Facebook.
For just a second, I thought “When McGyver spends alone-time with a bottle of lotion, he is thinking of ME….”
Remembered that I was the dumb-ass that dropped it there in the first place and decided not to let me ego run rampant.
Mood improved.
More Christmas cards.
House smells like Christmas.
Hottubing.
Taught cat to hop onto edge of tub.
Fought internal demon to keep from teaching her to swim.
Also resisted the urge to splash.
Shower and shave – need new blades
Read kindle.
Dog snored like a 70 year old alcoholic man with sleep apnea.
Put him on wife’s side of the bed so they could snuggle.
Night-night time.

Architectural Slut – China

Finely constructed and designed buildings make me all giddy on the inside.  China has exploded and there is no better evidence than that (aside from the traffic and smog…)  than the amazing new buildings that you can see in the major cities there.  This is my third post in a series from a recent trip to china and I could have spent almost every non-working hour looking at and taking pictures of tall buildings, temples, details, roof lines, etc…

Personality.  Chinese cities and architecture have personality.  The modern glass and steel structures are looming, playful, artistic and make you look up and wonder.  Orbs, pyramids, square holes in the middle of the structures abound.  Tucked underneath, are 1000 year old temples, ancient homes,  narrow alley-like streets and a flowing tide of humanity and machines.

The Forbidden City – China 2012

I took a LOT of pictures on a recent trip for my J-O-B to china.  This is the second post in a series meant to break the pile up a bit into a manageable size so that people will actually retain focus long enough to look at.  The photos below were taken as I strolled through the Forbidden City in Beijing early one Sunday morning.  There are a number of close up shots of features made specifically for my work computer desktop.  We have a new 5S push at the office and there have been some rumblings about removing personal pictures flashing on the computers on sleep mode – no mandate, just rumblings so far.  I have been taking pictures of bits and pieces of the places I visit and see and use them like a digital wall paper – in case the rumors are founded.  The pictures will mean little to anyone but me and to everyone else they will appear generic and therefore worthy of a 5S office/cube/desk/computer.

Below are images of roof tiles, a wooden window screen, graffiti in a closed-off (climbed onto a gate and held my camera WAY out to the side) alleyway near the Forbidden garden, a wooden door panel from Tzu-Hsi, the Dowager Empress, residence and cracked paint for the wall outside of P’u Yi’s (the last emperor of China) sleeping quarters.  If you like them, let me know and I will send you a wallpaper sized file.

Travel and Camping in the Land of shiny vampires…

Every summer, my son and I go camping. Some years his sister has gone and my wife has started joining us, but there is a lot of quality father/son time.  Discussions swirl around knights, swords, native American tribes/practices, foreign places/peoples, battles, gvns, more sword talk, camping skills, camp cooking, and the merits of boxing/judo/Krav Maga/etc…  This year, The Ruminator and Stamps-With-Foot conspired against me and planned a trip to Forks, Washington to visit the Twilight tour stops.

The plan was to drive from Seattle to Forks, visiting La Push, and then completing the circumnavigation of the Olympic Peninsula – going from campground to campground.   The trip coincided with both Quileute Days and the Squim Lavender Festival – I have a soft spot for lavender.  I believe that the side trip to Squim was more of a bribe than anything else as our rainey destination and reason for going didn’t really speak to my heart.  My sweet, sweet wife, all her friends, my daughter, and most of the women I know are enamored with the sparkling undead.  I prefer my vampires to erupt into flames when exposed to sunlight, but I am old-school like that.

We packed the new truck, Tater, with tents, bags, rain tarps, food, cast iron, ukeleles, wood, sleeping pads, water, more tarps and headed west like 21st century hillbillies.  Our first night was spent near a WWII concrete anti-ship fort – we had to explore the depths and gvn emplacements twice in 24 hours…  Before heading to Squim, we stopped in downtown Port Townsend and explored the wooden boat center and some of the shops.   Another bribe.  Wooden boats and I have an unrequited love affair.  I can’t have one because I already have a wife and a full-time job, but that doesn’t preclude me from lusting over teak decks, tight joinery, and the naughty brass bits…

The rain came our second night of camping and never really left.  There were dry hours where we cooked and played dueling ukuleles, but for the most part the next 4 nights were an exercise in trying to keep from getting soggy.  Brodie was along for his first Talley Family camp-a-thon and was not amused.  All he wanted to do was sit with his mommy and crawl under the dry blankets in the tent.  That whole thing in the books about Forks being the rainest place in the lower 48 rings true for me.  We were there in the summer and never dried out, I can only imagine what it is like in the depth of a long grey winter.

Quileute Days was a side stop on our way to the Pacific coast and LaPush.  The Ruminator just HAD to swim in the ocean and no amount of persuasion about it being cold, really cold, would change his adolescent, made up mind.  After running into the surf and getting slapped in the chest by the first arctic-cold wave, his eyes got huge and he came up gasping for air.  He stayed in until his lips turned almost blue and we had to drag him out.  I have a sneaking suspicion that his next trip to the coast will involve a wetsuit.

Forks is a former logging town that is full of nice people who still seem a little bewildered by all the attention.  Two shops really stand out in my memory (aside from the Twilight one): a tackle shop that had the same organizational system as my grandfather’s garage: “I know it is here somewhere….”  mounted fish on the wall, a stuffed mountain lion, and a dog sleeping in her spot by the door.   The other shop was an eclectic mix of junk shop, antique store, book store, coffee shop and sandwich counter where we had lunch.   If you go to Forks – dragged by your significant other as well – you cant miss the latter; it is on the same side of the street of the now closed Twilight store and just to the north.

This summer taught us a few things:

  1. Full-on luxury glamping is awesome when you arrive, unload and stay in place, but sucks when you move every night.
  2. Zombie Gunship played on an iPad in the backseat makes the miles fly by and nary a “Are we there yet?” is uttered.
  3. Brodie hates camping, the woods, rain, campfires, and the ukelele.  Hates.
  4. Stamps-With-Foot makes a mean gumbo!
  5. The idea of spending time in the “Wettest place in the lower 48” sounds MUCH better than it is.
  6. I am more awesomer at checkers than my son
  7. Lavender ice cream is amazingly yummy
  8. Flailing about with bullwhip kelp is a fine way to get into trouble
  9. Bacon fried in a iron skillet over a campfire is another proof the God loves us and wants us to be happy.
  10. Future summer outings will be less Cormac McCarthy’ The Road (soggy,cold,dirty) and more Endless Summer or Smokey and the Bandit.

Trip to China 2012 – The Warriors of Xi’an

When I was maybe 9, National Geographic, which was looked at with high reverence in our house growing up, had this amazing article about a discovery of a clay life-sized army found while some farmers were digging a well in China, under what used to be a village’s persimmon orchard and near the graveyard.  I was enthralled and had dreams/fantasies  of going all “Indiana Jones” there: finding adventure and treasure.  It led to my wanting to be an archaeologist until I was 15 and learned that the career path of archaeology was long, paid poorly, was low in adventure, high on sweat & dirt,  and hundreds of over-qualified people fought for what was often a single academic position at even 3rd and 4th tier colleges.  None of which sounded ideal to a 15 year old.  The career realization I had did nothing to diminish my interest in the warriors and have wanted to see them for myself since reading that small story almost 30 years ago.

My J-O-B sent me to China in November for a little over a week and I found myself in the city of Xi’an, my meeting over, and 7 hours until I had to be at the airport…  I threw all my crap in a suitcase, payed my hotel bill, hopped in a taxi and was at the site in 40 minutes.  Cross one more AMAZING item off my bucket list!  Pictures attached below.

From a more recent National Geo online artical:

“Qin’s army of clay soldiers and horses was not a somber procession but a supernatural display swathed in a riot of bold colors: red and green, purple and yellow. Sadly, most of the colors did not survive the crucible of time—or the exposure to air that comes with discovery and excavation. In earlier digs, archaeologists often watched helplessly as the warriors’ colors disintegrated in the dry Xian air. One study showed that once exposed, the lacquer underneath the paint begins to curl after 15 seconds and flake off in just four minutes—vibrant pieces of history lost in the time it takes to boil an egg.

Now a combination of serendipity and new preservation techniques is revealing the terra-cotta army’s true colors. A three-year excavation in Xian’s most famous site, known as Pit 1, has yielded more than a hundred soldiers, some still adorned with painted features, including black hair, pink faces, and black or brown eyes. The best-preserved specimens were found at the bottom of the pit, where a layer of mud created by flooding acted as a sort of 2,000-year-long spa treatment.

The last excavation in Pit 1 screeched to a halt in 1985 after a worker stole a warrior’s head and was summarily executed—a head for a head, as it were. In the long hiatus that followed, Chinese researchers worked with experts from the Bavarian State Conservation Office in Germany to develop a preservative known as PEG to help save the warriors’ colors. During the recent excavation, the moment a painted artifact was unearthed, workers sprayed any bit of exposed color with the solution, then wrapped it in plastic to keep in the protective moisture. The most colorful pieces (and the earth surrounding them) have been removed to an on-site laboratory for further treatment. To everyone’s delight, the modern techniques for preserving ancient colors seem to be working.

In a narrow trench on the north side of Pit 1, archaeologist Shen Maosheng leads me past what look like terra-cotta backpacks strewn across the reddish soil. They are, in fact, clay quivers still bristling with bronze arrows. Shen and I skirt the remnants of a freshly excavated chariot, then stop beside a plastic sheet. “Want to see a real find?” he asks.

Lifting the sheet, Shen unveils a jagged, three-foot-long shield. The wood has rotted away, but the shield’s delicate design and brilliant reds, greens, and whites are imprinted on the earth. A few steps away is an intact military drum whose leather surface has left another glorious pattern on the dirt, its crimson lines as fine as human hair. Together with the imprints of finely woven silk and linen textiles also found here, these artifacts offer clues about the artistic culture that flourished under the Qin dynasty and the vibrant palette that infused it.

With so much color and artistry imprinted on the soil—the ancient paint, alas, adheres to dirt more readily than to lacquer—Chinese preservationists are now trying to preserve the earth itself. “We are treating the earth as an artifact,” says Rong Bo, the museum’s head chemist, who helped develop a binding agent, now under patent, that holds the soil together so the color won’t be lost. The next challenge, Rong says, will be to find an acceptable method for reapplying this color to the warriors.

With less than one percent of the vast tomb complex excavated so far, it may take centuries to uncover all that remains hidden. But the pace of discovery is quickening. In 2011 the museum launched two long-term excavation projects on the flanks of the 250-foot-high central burial mound. Exploratory digs in this area a decade ago uncovered a group of terra-cotta acrobats and strong men. More extensive excavations will yield “mind-boggling discoveries,” predicts Wu Yongqi, the museum’s director.”

The Day that Twinkies died…

A little piece of my childhood is dying: Hostess has filed for bankruptcy, fired all the bakers and drivers, and is liquidating all its assets.  Sad news.  That means that Twinkies will be no more .  I don’t eat them anymore because of my advanced age, but I remember them with great fondness.  In addition to Twinkies, Hostess made Wonder Bread, Ding-Dongs and Ho Ho’s for the past 82 years.  My Marvel Super Heroes/The Fall Guy lunchboxes in elementary had either a foil wrapped Ding-Dong or individual Twinkie inside a couple times a week.  I always ate them first or used them like cash, trading for other teeth-destroying snacks across the lunch table.

I have read that there will be a run on the stores and people are snapping Hostess products up and hording them like doomsday preppers.  I wonder what the “last Twinkie” will be listed for someday on Ebay?

One of my first experiences abroad was a trip to Scotland were I ate at a pub in Glasgow the first night that had deep fried Twinkies and deep fried Snickers Bars on the menu for desert.  I ordered both and had a beer/sugar hangover the next day that was epic.  Still wouldn’t trade the memory of that night for any amount of coin.

Needing to Catch Up…

I have been out of pocket the last couple of months and just haven’t found the time to post anything. Home repairs/maintenance, a really long sleepless trip to China for my J-O-B, local elections, the presidential election, deadlines and long hours at work, laziness, etc… have claimed all my waking hours.

I am spending the weekend with my lovely wife getting the house and yard ready for winter, drinking coffee, unclogging drains, and wading into my long neglected to-read piles of books beside the bed and in my office. I will take a couple of hours and finish some long ago started posts, organize some pictures and work on drivenoutside a little. I have some AMAZING pictures from China, a hysterical Brodie-related story to share, a few shop projects complete, some nice shots of our fall garden harvest, a long overdue trip report from a summer trip with The Ruminator, 7-8 videos highlighting thing that are hand crafted and a couple that are just beyond words that I will post.

FOUR MORE YEARS!!

CNN has just projected Obama to win election! Four more years of time to make things happen, strengthen the economy, fund health care, work on trade, and get the shiz-nit done. I am happier than rich preacher in a cat-house!

Update 11-11-12: It is official, the votes in Florida have now been counted and it was huge in electoral votes and a majority or popular votes as well.

2012 Election

For the record, I am voting for Jay Inslee to become the new WA Governor, mostly because his opponent smells of douchebaggery, I am all for Prop. 74 (legalizing same-sex marriage) because who you want to marry is your own business, I am voting for Initiative 502 (legalizing cannabis) – what you do in your on home, on you own free time is your own damn business. I am voting against the local initiative for Charter Schools as it will divert funds from Seattle’s currently underfunded public schools. I wish our mayor was up for election as well… I voted for him 2 years ago because of his pro-bike and heavy green campaign promises, but I am not impressed or amused with his performance or decisions while holding the office.

My most important vote this year will be to re-elect President Barack Obama. Do I wish more had been done to crank up the economy? Yes. Do I wish that Obama-care had a universal coverage option? Yes! Do I wish all our troops were out of harm’s way? Yes. All that said, I think that he did a great job with the tools he had to work with: GM is alive, I have a job, my house is still mine, the economy is coming back, my kids still have a college fund, and the Navy chummed for sharks with and Bin Laden’s corpse. I feel that we as a country need to stay the course and let the man do all he can do. Also, his opponent will not take a real stance or commit to much of anything, openly courts the Tea-Baggers, was a terrible MA governor, a reputed prick in high-school, and reeks turbo-douchebaggery! My $0.02 worth…

For some comic relief:

and…