Tag: traffic

Off to China

/ Matt Talley / Leave a comment

My J-O-B sent me to China again for another 5-city mad dash of meetings over a 6 day period. Here is how the schedule went:

Wake up at 0-dark-thirty, taxi to the airport, fly, meet with customers, eat, take train or car to the airport, fly again, eat, check into some weird hotel, sleep, do all over again. Exhausting.

A few observations:

That is not dust in the air, it is smog.
Lots of inappropriate footwear – lady cop directing traffic in platform heals & brick mason in flip-flops
Food was amazing!
Food sucked – depended on the place and the dish…
Really got tired of people pushing, cutting in line, spitting on sidewalk everywhere.
There is an inability to use a urinal: piss everywhere but there.
Liked haggling at the markets
Where did all the bikes go?
Really liked the door/chest hardware stalls at the street markets.
No, I do not want a watch…
No, I do not want pretty girl…
NEVER drive a car in China!
How can a fvcking plane seat be this small!?
Traffic lanes and signals are just for suggestion.
LOVE the cabinet hardware in the markets.
Can I please have chicken without the whole damn head included on the plate?!
Why is there no soap in the bathroom?!
Please stop touching me…
Why is that kid peeing in the middle of a busy intersection?

Thursday wish list – 6/30/11

/ Matt Talley / Leave a comment

What I Want Thursday was meant to be a weekly post but due to the realities of my J-O-B and growing list of home improvement projects, it has now become a bi-monthly (hopefully…) utterance.   For this Thursday I would like:

  1. For traffic to slow the fvck down on 35th Ave! – A ticket was handed out last week for 62mph in a 35mph zone and 50+ seems to be the norm.
  2. For my kids to write me real snail-mail letters in addition to dialing the phone, typing a single line e-mail, or sending me a text.  I do not want my generation to be the last that prizes personal tangible communication.  I want my children to send Thank You cards, notes of congratulations, and sympathy.  Manners are small gifts we give to other people, often strangers, that mean so very much…
  3. For my kitchen remodel to be finished and done with. I would like a celebratory breakfast of bacon, eggs, fine pressed coffee, OJ, flakey croissants, and lavender honey at the table in the breakfast nook.  I would like a morning free of worry and noise to enjoy my breakfast in our new clean, bright, painted kitchen, while reading the day’s International Herald Tribune.
  4. Some BADASS/useful luggage for my frequent international travel. No more fvcking roller wheels!!  Real bags, that look good with jeans or a suit.   I like this one from Monocle, A similar one from a guy in Portland, and a new laptop messenger from Timbuck2 in all black.
  5. More book shelves. I need 8’ or so of shelf space in the office, 4’ in the kitchen for our cookbooks, and 3-5’ in our master bedroom to accommodate our home library.  Some cool bookend would be snazzy as well.  These or these or these would work nicely.
  6. For iTunes to realize I do not live in Germany anymore and to FINALLY switch my account over to a US one. Every time I buy a song or app, I get charged in Euros and I have to call in, explain the issue for the umpteenth time and they send me a refund for the difference in 10-14 days.

Commuting with Bear Spray…

/ Matt Talley

Man, Some days my bike commute (1200+ miles so far this year) is the SHIT!… Warm sunshine, crisp air, blue sky, mountains in the background, little traffic, all the lights are green, etc… Then there are days like today that I get home ragged, twitching, in a foul mood, and in need of quite time. I got off a little late so the sun was setting as I started the 40-minute ride home. Traffic was tight, exhaust fumes hung thick in the air, some asshole swerved at me to be funny – I hope, two douche-bags laid into their horns as they sped past me while I was climbing a hill, a lady in a Honda almost hit me in the cross walk, and finally this dick screamed at me with his head hanging out the passenger window of a truck as I was coming to yet another red-light. I got up out of the saddle and mashed the peddles for all I was worth, getting mentally ready for the beat-down I was going to give the ass-hat. Just as I got within reach of the bumper, the guy driving ran the light. I hate assholes!

I was hit 5 times in 3 years of living in California and I learned that you have to watch drivers like a hawk. After a while you become intuitive of their no-signal right turns and you can feel when that lady on her cell phone is going to look right through you and pull out, so you hit the brakes and avoid a crash that she was never aware of. The Burbs and industrial district south of Seattle is a whole other hot mess indeed. Unlike in the city proper, there aren’t too many of us bike commuters, lots of busy mid-level managers talking into the mobile phones, and it is a battle every time I get on my bike. There is a guy in a dark blue Chevy Malibu van that has the same schedule as me who will squeeze his van against the curb if he sees me coming so that I can’t pass him at red lights – no cutting in line! I get honked at daily, had a Burger King bag tossed at me back in June, and once had a semi-homeless (living in his car) dude (there are a bunch in S. King County, WA) try to chase me down and steal my bike – really!

Now, if I had caught the guy at the light I would have hit him at least three times before he got his door open. Then it would have been two good-sized fellers on a skinny guy in spandex and funny shoes. I would have given pretty good, but I would have bleed some and I don’t know if that would have taught them the proper lesson. Ruminating on that and the possibility of assault by one of our local street people, I have decided to not fuck around with my safety. I have a wife and kids and it is my job to come home safe every night (and contribute heavily to two college funds), so I sat down at my bride’s sewing machine and made (with her patient help) a snazzy black nylon pouch to hold my bike-commute insurance policy: bear spray. Yep, a big ol’ canister of Ursine-Off. If it can stop a charging grizzly, then some asshole that takes a swipe at me because I am on a bike and look like an easy target is going to have a very spice-filled evening. I see it this way: If you’re a prick and you try to touch me or run me over, you get a nice even coating of Oleoresin Capsicum, I call the cops, you learn a valuable lesson, I go home safely, have a yummy dinner, you may get to post bail, I have a beer, you spend the rest of your evening itchy and red. Everyone wins!