Tradeshow – Driven Outside

During my third random search on my way home from London to Seattle (they “randomly” happen every other time I fly…), the agent/officer/person commented of how organized my bag was: cords and pens in individual tool rolls, glasses in their respective cases, clothes folded, shoes bagged… I was head-swelling proud right up until the moment she turned my bag over and shook all the contents out. She gave me a naughty smile with an eye twinkle as my stuff spilled and tumbled onto the stainless countertop – a look like the one the Devil gives right before drop-kicking someone into the Lake of Fire.

Also on this trip:

Novotel dining area 
7:15am

Staff: “Sir would you like coffee or tea?”
Me: “Coffee please. Thank you”

I pour the contents of the warming kettle I was brought into a cup and add sugar & cream and stir. I then take what should be the first sip of a substance that makes me not want to murder my fellow man…

I have to stop myself from spitting whatever it was all over my table.

I hail the waitress that brought me this vile concoction.

Me: “May I please have some tea?” 
Staff: “Oh, I am sorry sir, is there something wrong with the coffee?” Me: “Nope, I am sure the coffee is fine – wherever it may be. THAT is not coffee. I’ll take the tea.”

Tea arrives and I have 3 cups.

“Coffee” is left on my table to mock me and remind me that someone at the Novotel has either a sense of humor or is the spawn of a medium ranked demon.

I do like me some bicycles. I really like the ones that some guy welded/brazed in a small dim shop near/at his house. Tool marks, thoughtful frame geometry, pump bosses, bottle openers, hammered fenders and the inclusion of S&S couplers make me feel all funny on the inside. I never miss a chance to fondle a hand-built frame.

Stamps-With-Foot was planning to drive down to Portland to help a friend out that is an artist/costume designer on a new stage production. I was on the fence about riding along, as talk of sewing and fabric makes me as attentive as a narcoleptic on ketamine, until I happened upon the notice that the Oregon Handmade Bicycle Show was in Portland on the same weekend. That sold me and I immediately fired off an e-mail to my lovely bride stating that while I was going with her, there would be abandonment for the better part of a day while I alternately drank coffee & beer at the show while groping steel frames and taking illicit photographs of possible two-wheeled mistresses. Her reply was something like – ‘Fine, but you’re driving and you can’t buy ANOTHER bike…” Deal. I don’t have to buy the cow when the milk is free…

I went to the show with my buddy Dave, who doesn’t share my obsession for bikes, but he is a fellow gear-head and also posses a keen mechanical knack, so I knew he would be good company. The show was small and somewhat pricey to get into, but atmosphere was lively, the people watching was excellent, and there was LOTS of eye candy! I wanted to put a down payment on an new road frame, but the more I talked to the builder the louder Stamps-With-Foot’s voice became in my head. I kept getting flashes of me standing outside in the rain with my new frame, no coat, shivering in a wet hat and the dog looking out the living room window at me smugly…

Below is an image gallery of some of the sights and lines that we found there.

...and beer on a bike was the first thing that greeted us upon entering the door!

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Driven Outside

Tag: Tradeshow

A couple of odd things from my latest trip to London.

Oregon Handmade Bicycle Show

...and beer on a bike was the first thing that greeted us upon entering the door!