Tag: Sick Day

Life Lesson – you can’t text message your wife that you have a tumor…

/ Matt Talley / 2 Comments

So… I have had a bump on my forehead for a couple of years. I went to a Dr. about it in France and she said it was a bone spur. I sort of ignored it after that, but it still bugged me as a cosmetic thing. Right after we moved back to the US, I let a buddy of mine , who happens to be a Dr., take a look. He felt it was a dermoid cyst, but he couldn’t take it out for me because of location and recommended a plastic surgeon. I finally got an appointment week before last to see a guy and holy crap… Not a bone spur, not a cyst. It was a lipoma – a tumor. He recommended immediate removal. I walked out of his office and sent my wife a text that said:

“Not a cyst. A tumor, probably benign. I will call him Harold. Removal next Tuesday.”

Apparently, one should not text message about a tumor nor make jokes about same. I missed that section in the marriage handbook and my wife called me immediately to freak out a little let me know of the transgression…

I went in the last Tuesday and had Harold removed. It ended up being about the size of a small strawberry that was tenacious and adhered to the bone. The surgeon had to get out the lifter/chisel and the procedure took about 45 minutes, instead of the planed 20 or so. To close it all up, I had 5 interior and 12 exterior stitches. There is lots of swelling, two black eyes, and I can’t feel my forehead, but they said feeling will come back in 3-4 weeks as nerve heals. I also have had an on & off massive headache – feels like I got smacked with a 2×4. I took a couple of days off from work and popped Vicodin while watching movies and looking at Pocket yachts/trailer sailor videos on You Tube – dreaming of weekends sailing on the Puget Sound, camping on a small deserted tree covered island with my wife and bacon – it was a nice way to take my mind off the swelling and recuperate.

It all Looks good though as the Dr. feels Harold was benign. Sent to pathology anyway and I will know for 100% when I have stitches out this Wednesday.

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9-27-2016 Update:
The bump was completely benign. The pathology looked good, all my stitches are now out, and the scaring is minimal. I am very happy and wife is very happy. Best possible outcome.

I AM NOT TOO OLD!!

/ Matt Talley / Leave a comment

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So, I was left without adult supervision last night while my wife was at a hair appointment and decided to ride my skateboard around the neighborhood and to the lot where the local cool kids hang out with their board.  All was fine until on the way home, full of hubris and ego, I had to stop suddenly – there was a rock. I didn’t go down, no road rash, but tweaked my heal and ankle a little.  I said the f-word a couple of times and rode home.  I was fine-ish when I went to bed, but woke up this morning to pain and swelling. I had to crawl up the basement stairs – true story.   All Hubris and ego suddenly left me.

I called my boss this morning and fessed up to the nature of the reason for me taking a rare sick day – my skateboard.  I think he is still laughing at me. One of my engineers, sent me the Murtaugh quote from Lethal Weapon…  I am not too old!!   You can pry my skateboard and bikes out of my dead cold hands when I am 90.

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