Man-Crushes and Day Drinking

May 1, 2018 / Matt Talley / Leave a comment

Two of my best-est buddies, Doktor_DNR and The Incredible Bulk, were in town for 4 days just to hang out. It.Was.Awesome!! I took the time off work and there was lots of day-drinking, video games played, movies watched, museums visited, about 30 Sapphire Gin&Tonics consumed… We went Go-Kart Racing, toured the track on Vintage Race day. ogled over airplanes, drank some more, ate lots of good food, there was some nudity when one of them leaped from an arctic cold shower, and we made fun of each other at every single opportunity. It was a fine stay-cation for me that I sorely needed with my friends.

Film Friday – An Update and a Little Ranting

February 9, 2018 / Matt Talley / Leave a comment

A quick update about why I have not posted here on my blog or been on YouTube for a few weeks and how I have been spending my time: Roadtrippin’, some slight ranting, obscene gestures, naughty words, snowboarding, beer, some boats, a little 3D printing, and a sneak peak at the Jeep’s homecoming after 12 weeks in the body shop are all to follow.

Chopping Firewood Warms You Twice

November 30, 2017 / Matt Talley / Leave a comment

I have some on the most awesome neighbors ever. I know a lot of people say that, but I firmly believe in mine. One of my neighbors across the street took down a maple and a cedar and offered both up as fire wood for me to just HAVE! Now, two trees is a lot of wood to and split and the cedar looked nasty with lots of knots and limbs. I decided to rent a $70 hydraulic log splitter for the day and just get it done.

I showed up with a chainsaw, bar-oil, and the splitter and he had it all laid out and ready to go. He gave me pre-mixed gas for the saw and spent 9 hours helping me bust it all up – just because!! Even though we used the splitter, it was still HARD work and we lifted/rolled/moved/cut/shoved 2+cords of wet heavy wood around. It was work! I bought him lunch and a bottle of Bushmills 10yo Whiskey, but that is nowhere near enough payment for all he did!

The maple is enough to supply around a third of our wood for next winter (takes a while to season) and the cedar will make for awesome fire pit wood in the back yard and at the beach! I am on the lookout for some oak to lay up this winter and I would commit heinous acts for a load of madrona…

Weekend Activities

July 12, 2017 / Matt Talley / Leave a comment

Seattle is in early summer full bloom. The sun is out and the temperature is perfect! These conditions led to a really good weekend:

Slept had friends stay with us Friday night and Saturday morning
Big yummy breakfast
Picked three big bowls of ripe Lapin cherries
Ate a lot of cherries
Went over to my mother’s house
Took care of house projects for her
Had a yummy dinner
Nice bottle of red wine was opened and mostly consumed
Read American Gods aloud with Stamps-With-Foot before bed

Brunch with Friends
Went to the Sunday farmer’s market
Bought cheese and honey!
Went to the garden store
Bought a bunch of flowers for the yard
Walked the puppies
Planted flowers
Scattered weed&feed in the 1/3 of the back yard that is void of Ireland-green grass
scattered and raked grass seed.
Murdered dandelions
Picked up a mountain of puppy-made landmines 🙁
Mowed the yard
Installed new tire cover on Jeep spare
Put Jeep on the car lift – also now refereed to as “The Jeep Sex Swing”
Changed oil and filter
Only 42 more Oil Changes and the lift pays for itself!! 🙂
Lubed the chassis
Checked and topped off all the fluids
Made happy noises
Had a Coke and smile afterward while sitting in the shade
Printed out GAINT ’84-’86 Jeep Maintenance Manual
Let my internal OCD monster out to play
Custom labels and tabbed separators were made…
Added folders with Maintenance Manuals to shelf in the garage
Watered the garden, yard, and newly seeded dirt patch
More reading
Sleep

Long Holiday Weekend and the Official Start of Summer in Seattle

July 6, 2017 / Matt Talley / Leave a comment

Our 4th of July weekend went really well this year. To kick things off right, I found out on Friday afternoon before the weekend that I could have Monday July 3rd off. A surprise and unplanned FOUR DAY WEEKEND!!

The 40th Annual Seattle Wooden Boat Festival was being put on and I took a Lyft down to south Lake Union and the Center for Wooden Boats on Saturday morning and hung out till about 12:00. I have mixed feelings about the show/fest this year and will expound on those in a follow up post, but while there got to see some boats and talk shop with a kayak builder and sail-maker. Before leaving the house, Stamp-With-Foot made me promise not to buy a boat. I succeeded in that, but I did look at a cute little 16’ sailing skiff that made me feel fuzzy and a 22’ day/weekend sailor…

I also saw Opus again – my favorite weekend boat/trailer sailor in the PNW. She is a Wee Seal MKII, designed by the noted Australian/Scotsman Iain Oughtred. Her owners weren’t there, but I still enjoyed seeing at such a sweet little boat. If Opus were for sale, I don’t think that the promise to my wife would have been kept…

We went to a colleague’s early 4th of July BBQ on Saturday afternoon/evening (the 1st of July). It was down in Enumclaw and had an AMAZING view of Mt. Rainier from the deck and rest of the property. There was beer, laughter, wine, 4-wheelers, BBQ, and fine people. The fireworks started at dark and no one lost any fingers and nothing burned down, so a successful party.

Monday and Tuesday were spent in our yard, my shop, and the house fixing, building, moving stuff around. I hired some labor on Monday the 3rd and spent 8 hours cleaning the yard, moving bricks, pulling weeds, re-finishing the patio table, cleaning the hot tub, moving boulders, and making 2 runs to the dump. I swear the people at the city dump know me so well by now that I will be getting Christmas cards from them.

The yard came together about 9:00pm the night before our scheduled BBQ on the 4th. We had friends, family, co-workers, neighbors come over for charred meat, chips, dip, booze, desert, and laughter. The holiday was also my backyard’s coming out party. She was finally ready to join the world and everyone fawned over the green, luscious grass. It made me so proud! It was also the puppies first time being allowed in the backyard unsupervised. They rolled and sniffed and frolicked like I made the yard just for them. There were no fights (human or puppy), no one got sick, everyone left full, no grass was destroyed, no cuts or scrapes, no fires, nothing blown up, and we had some very tired happy puppies that night – so another successful party.

Camping Weekend

September 1, 2016 / Matt Talley / Leave a comment

We spent the National Park Centennial camping near and walking in Olympic National park. Not a bad way at all to make the occasion, spend the weekend, bring summer to a close.

30KM ride on a Single-Speed

September 2, 2015 / Matt Talley / Leave a comment

I have neglected my bike since we have lived in France. I thought I would ride every day, but it has been more like once a week or once every two weeks with sputters and spurts of activity. The only bright spot is really that I have been riding 30-50km once a month or so with a neighbor. He is 20 and like 6’2″ and lanky – built like a proper cyclist. The first time he showed up at our garden gate to ride he had a full local team kit (matching jersey, socks, shorts) on and was astride a very clean, full carbon bike. My first reaction was ‘Shit… This kid is going to KILL me …’

Turns out that even in my current chubby condition and at my advanced age, I still have a little something when riding and I had no problem staying with him on the flats and can take him in the hills.

We have been riding off and on for about 18 months and recently I had a friend from Germany in town that I used to ride with there. A mini-tour of the local country side from atop a two wheeled stead was in order, but he didn’t bring a bike. No Worries, I loaned him my road bike and I took one for the team and rode my single speed. I just knew that they were going to kill me, but I needed the workout.

I am happy to report, that I stayed with theme both of them for the whole ride, and blasted by both up a moderate hill. I was super proud of my self after – I am not saying I didn’t hurt or didn’t want to puke, but I was still proud of the showing I managed. Not too shabby for a chubby bearded grandfather.

Camping in the Plague-free 14th Century

September 3, 2013 / Matt Talley / Leave a comment

Stamps-With-Foot and I spent part of the recent holiday weekend camping in a south-western Washington hay field pretending with a wink and a smile that it was 1340.

We have some friends that are big into the SCA and asked us to come along. At the mention of playing dress up, my wife was all in. I spent most of my time cooking and washing dishes and I made it over to Merchant’s Row for a few purchases. I got way too involved in construction techniques of the different tents and campers (kind of want my own Gypsy Vardo) and camping accouterments and MAY have made a pest of myself at one booth deciphering the geometry of the tent fly. There are times when I am too nerdy for my own good.

Anyway, we had a nice time away from a house full of boxes and projects. It was great to see our friends and it made my wife happy to get to dress me up in pretend pleasant clothes.

Road Trip from SoCal to Vegas

August 14, 2013 / Matt Talley / Leave a comment

Laurel and I took a trip this spring to Orange County, CA, visited some of our old haunts, ate our favorite California-only foods, hung out with some of the people we love there, and then drove across the desert to Las Vegas so I could attend a work related trade show – the following below are mostly her pictures.

Our Stolen Puppy – found!!

February 11, 2012 / Matt Talley / 1 Comment

My wife ran into our local pharmacy to get a prescription and when she came out our car and an SUV next to us had been broken into. The other party had a gym bag stolen and our GPS and iPod were left alone, but they TOOK OUR DOG!!! My wife was inconsolable! All she could do was sob and sob. Brodie is a huge member of the family – I think my brother-in-law is plotting to off us so he can inheret him. My mother walks him every day. My wife’s father – The Chatty Buddha – treats him like a grandchild. Really, really: gifts at christmas and a dog-related comic hung at dog-bowl level in his home, which is 5 hours away and there “for when Brodie visits.” my friends talk about him like they party with the little guy on weekends and pet/scratch him before saying ‘boo’ to either of us when they come over. Vacations and dates are planned around this dog’s schedule. His theft was a serious kick in the gut. I wanted to do the people that took him some serious harm… Perminant limp sort of harm and my balling pacifist wife was all for it.

We rescued Brodie through Bulldog Haven NW after he was deemed unadoptable for medical reasons and was slated to be put down. We nursed him back to health and he has been happy with us for almost three years. He is the best dog that either of us has ever had. We prayed that whoever took him was keeping him warm and safe and that we would get him back soon.

The minute we got home, we got online and on the phones to the vets in our area, his microchip company, we posted on the west seattle blog and the lady who runs BHNW jumped on craigslist minutes after our call to her. One of Laurel’s dear friends (Natalie) came over and helped man the phones, calm Laurel down, and she drove around with us looking for him until well after dark. There was huge Facebook traffic on this, with cross posts and more than 250 comments. Brodie’s abduction made it all the way to the Boeing Intraweb and there was a blip on the King 5 News site (since taken down). We printed over a hundred flyers and I rode one of my bikes around the neighborhood taping/stapling reward posters everywhere.

Brodie was found about a mile from Walgreens, huddled beside the recycling can, cold and wet, but safe. The guy that found him called the phone number on his tag around 8:00, as we were headed to get a quick bite to eat. I whipped my POS truck around and sped there. He didnt know about the reward we offered, but he will get every penny of it – There are good people in the world!

Brodie and his mother were super tired form his ordeal today. They fell asleep snuggling on the couch about 9:00. This weekend has officially been declared “whateverBrodiewants Fest” and there will be bacon for breakfest, buffalo snacks, hot yummy beef dinner, and more cuddling than he can stand.

We are glad to have him homeland cannot thank our friends, neighbors, and everyone involved enough. THANK YOU!!

Glamping

October 4, 2011 / Matt Talley / 1 Comment

On a recent weekend, Stamps-With-foot and I met some friends at a campsite on the slopes of Mt. Rainer, situated next to a clear, cool, rushing river. It was a welcome vacation from my iPhone, computer, the J-O-B, projects at home and was an adventure is truly luxurious camping: glamping. We had soft warm double beds, million dollar views, canvas recliners, teak side tables, flowers in vases, steak for dinner, champagne both nights, a hardwood fueled fire, fresh pastries, good wine, table cloths, linen napkins, and a curtained canopied dining room. There were even antique Japanese pearls presented and worn (thanks for upping the b-day present giving bar Dave… you dick). The only thing that separated it from a Victorian safari was the absence of white jacketed & gloved natives and the whole killing of endangered species thing.

All we brought to this gathering was a family sized tent, an air mattress, a set of cast iron Dutch ovens & griddle, some yummy food, good booze, and very sharp kitchen knives. Our Portland friends added all the rest of the good stuff. My normal camping experience often requires a nasty 10+ mile uphill hike (both ways), carrying all my junk (with most of the wife’s as well) & 25+ pounds of climbing gear. Evenings and EARLY mornings are often spent hovering over a tiny stove to warm up some dehydrated crap-surprise, sleeping in a tiny tent, on a thin short blow-up pad, pumping my own water, and waking up to instant coffee. It might be age talking, but I think that I might prefer the linen napkin approach. I am now plotting my own glamping plush set up. Next time we all go camping together, it is going to look like a Moroccan Pasha has come over for a weekend – walled tents, plush pillows, curtains, chests, and feasting…

I feel the need to mention that the next time I see Dave I am going to hit him square in the taint for upping the ante with the amazing pearls… Stamps-With-Foot is now expecting antique Japanese pearls, wrestled from the jaws of a giant clam by a tiny woman diver who held her breath for like 15 minutes and fought, almost to the death, for the prize… Yep, SMACK!! right in the baby-maker for this one David. I hope your wife treated you well for the thought and originality of your beautiful gift, as you will soon look back on those halcyon nights of pleasure with non-functioning fondness.

Evil on the inside

May 10, 2011 / Matt Talley / Leave a comment

My dear friend Rosy is currently feeling the sting of retribution. It is his own fault and really more the result karma then anything I might have done. I HATE snakes and he thought it would be giggly funny to send me an e-mail with an embedded surprise snake video – it may have made me fling my iPhone and pee myself… Unhappy does not cover my reaction. Even before his giggling subsided, I began “Project Retaliation.”

Rosy has a beautiful and loving wife, supportive parents, friendly neighbors, and ultra religious in-laws. I decided to deliver payback through these good people. The thing about my core group of friends – The Arthritic, Big Belly, Hillbilly Climbing Assn., is that we are occasionally mean to each other… There have been forced birthday paddlings, blow-up sheep in restaurants, public ridicule, chain-mails, doctored pictures, co-conspirators, and certain gross misdemeanors committed in the name of good fun, love, and friendly vengeance. This is shaping up to be one of the latter occurrences.

First, I went online and signed him up on the Liberation Party website as wanting information and I gave them $10 in his name. I used his wife’s email address for further contact – she has strong Republican sympathies and the rest of her family are Super-Tea Partiers. Apparently, Rosy also gave the Tea-Party $10 and clicked every “send me updates and info” button that he could while making that donation… My friend is now an official Lady GaGa Fan Club member and his picture and details are on one of the Justin Bieber freak/fan sites – they will be sending him periodic (hopefully daily) updates for all things Bieber. I requested some dirty, dirty, adult toy catalogs for him and sent them to his parent’s address. Then, a 1-year subscription to OUT! magazines was sent to Rosy via Amazon, but I used his conservative next door neighbor’s address. Rosy will get a Bear of the Month-mail from now until the end of time and there were also literature requests for everything from hair-loss treatment to laser back hair removal to penile enlargement device specifications. It really is the small things in life that make us happy.

A couple weeks later I got the text message below from his mom:

One might be tempted to think that I over reacted. One would be wrong. Rosy once contemplated releasing a live adult bison into my apartment because I teased him about his mom being hot and me having prior physical relations with her (I didn’t) – he actually looked at the logistics of getting the thing trailered in, really. Rosy doesn’t have a stop or pause button – you have to decimate him to make it stop. He fired the first shot in this little war and I had to retaliate with immediate and decisive force or there would have been more snake videos and pictures. He will attempt some sort of well thought out retribution and I will then have to use the nuclear option: his turbo-religious in-laws. Stay tuned…

Biological Clocks and Mad Travel

May 4, 2011 / Matt Talley / 1 Comment

In the last nine days, I have been in three States, have held three new babies, and have watched my wife’s baby-clock go from tick…tick….tick… to BOOM!BOOM!BOOM! There were three pregnant bridesmaids at our wedding and one of the groomsmen had a very pregnant wife. In Portland, we met Trystan: A handsome 3-week old little man that is the spitting image of his father. In Orange County, CA I met Valiant: a 5-week old heart breaker that looks like his Mommy. In San Francisco I met Valentina for the first time – Stamps-With-Foot was there for the birth. Valentina is 6 weeks old and also looks like her daddy.

All these little ones have, seemingly overnight, turned my sweet little “puppies-are-better-than-babies” wife into one of those crazy ladies who talks of nothing but nurseries, baby clothes, water births, talcum powder smells, and the merits of cloth vs. disposal… All the diaper talk mania is taking its toll on me: I had a dream a couple nights ago in which Stamp-With-Foot locked me in a room and made me perform till there were babies. By the time I woke up (I should saw was jolted awake, sweating), there were like 20 of them at all different ages and sizes as well as 4 rabbits. Some jars of my grandmother Talley’s plum jelly also made an appearance (WTF?!)…

Weekend in Portland

April 25, 2011 / Matt Talley / Leave a comment

Stamps-With-Foot and I went down to Portland for Easter weekend… as if we had all the freetime in the world – no projects looming over us – and a pot of money. We have some dear friends there that have just had a baby and we went down to meet him and hang out with them. Holy Pork Chop on a Stick!! The weather was AWESOME!! I am talking 65 degrees, blue skies, sunshine – the works. Saturday found us in a green city park, sitting under a tree, having a picnic, and swigging mimosas! It was a really laid back day and just what the doctor ordered. We spent Easter Sunday with an old family friend who happens to be Jewish – I always imagined the Easter bunny as having Hasidic roots… After a lazy morning, yummy coffee, and a terriffic breakfast, we drove into downtown and went to the Portland Chinese Garden. Our friend is on the Board of Directors there and we got in for free. Although the rain came back, we had a phenomal time walking the paths, finding nooks and alternate views. There was a late lunch at the tea house and the ladies partook of sake and plum wine.