As a new Star Wars Movie (Rogue One) has just come out, I have been psyching myself up for it, re-watching previous films, reading up on minor characters and such. Since I was fully emerged in it and Christmas is coming up, I went onto Amazon to buy a few action figures to round out the toy chest I keep for my friend’s kids when they visit. It is full of blocks, Transformers, matchbox cars, Lincoln logs, Barbies, Army Men, Cowboys & Indians, and action figures. There are actually three tubs as I am apparently living vicariously through other children.

Anywho… I am buying an action figure set of Sith characters (no one ever buys enough bad guys) and BAM! who is in the set: Jar Jar Mother Fucking Binks. OH MY GOD! It all makes sense!!!! About a year ago (2015) and REDDIT user named Lumpawarroo proposed a theory that Jar Jar was THE Phantom Menace and really a dark Sith Lord. I skimmed over it, laughed because I hate Jar Jar and have thought George Lucas was high when he wrote him into the script. I then read the post and comments a couple times, nodded with a smile, and passed it along to my fellow nerdy friends so that could laugh too. It was all fun and games until I saw this “official” toy set from Disney, with Pope & Smoke blessing from Lucas Film. My feeble mind is blown!

There are a number of videos that go into the minute details of this Gungan betrayal as well: Here, Here, and Here. This means that Jar Jar and Senator Palpatine were co-conspirators in the Sith Plot. Jar Jar’s bumbling fool act was just an elaborate staged production to deceive people – ALL people. This means his actions in Episode I&II are to facilitate Palpatine’s plans and are not those of an unwitting idiot that Forest-Gumped his way into a bad situation. They are the actions of an ally, a friend, a co-conspiritor, a partner…
Which makes sense now: Palpatine and Jar Jar are from the same world, which means they have possibly known each other for a very long time. Remember how scared the other Gungans were of him when he showed up at their city in Episode I?! They may have skipped together in Grade School and swapped spit behind the bleachers…

Please stop laughing now. This shit is for real. I admit to being a full-on nerd, but I am Functionally Nerdy: I have a pretty wife and a good job, and can interact socially with non-nerdy folk just fine. Jar Jar Mother Fucking Binks…