Afternoon naps
eating just the frosting
sword fights with sticks
Nu-Grape Soda & Kool-Aid
being Chuck Norris
wearing Super Man Underoos
sneaking out
believing in Santa Claus & The Easter Bunny
skateboarding
#2 pencils
closing eyes when brushing teeth & washing hair
building Lincoln Logs, Legos, and erector sets insomnia before the first day of school
action figures
Penmanship
sneaking a peek at a copy of Playboy
wearing a backpack with both straps over shoulders
Trapper Keepers
just kissing a girl
not wearing sunglasses
jaw-breakers
playing Army
afternoon back-lot baseball
ugly church shoes
curfews
the violin
being a stuntman when I grow up
cheap beer
believing everything parents said was true
indifference to coffee
poor craftsmanship
casual friendships
smoking pot
wearing a cheap watch
fleeting crushes
unplanned nakedness
my own invincibility
a 1971 GMC Truck
having people notice when I did something cool or right
thinking I was a genius
counting irony as an emotion
having a really fun job
delusions of being a professional climber & cyclist
dismissing the wisdom of teachers
English being the only language I’d ever need
having nothing to lose
indifference to insurance coverage
idle weekends
nonchalance about money
an uninterrupted night’s sleep
riding motorcycles
drinking a 12-pack of beer
ignoring news and politics
clothes with the names of pro sports teams on them
crappy fiction
20/20 vision
eating over half the pizza by myself
peace in the Middle East
linear thought as a rule
Not knowing what the IRS stood for
a full head of hair
watching the Three Stooges after cartoons on Saturday morning
reliving that which I supposedly left behind
plausible deniability
Tag: Comics
Spitting Coffee through my nose
I made an application that grabs the latest news from NPR, CNN, and my three favorite comics and delivers it to my Outlook In-box first thing in the morning – I know, I’m a dork. Anyway, one of the ‘toons made me roll with laughter and I spit my fine latte out of my nose. About two years ago I was cycling through the fields of North Germany, along narrow country roads, with a friend and neighbor who just could not stay warm on the ride. The cold wind was just cutting into him so he pulled off, grabbed a paper full of glossy adverts from the ground and started layering them flat inside his jersey. I laughed and laughed at him all the way home and would snicker for months afterward when we would ride together. I had completely forgotten about it until yesterday morning when the comic below opened up in my morning Geek-mail. Coffee should never be spewed from the nose: it is both painful and messy. My laughter/coffee fountain was also a source of delight for the other cube-dwelling Engi-nerds that surround me.
A Brush With the Far Side
Small world – strange place… So the other day I left a couple of messages on someone’s voice mail wanting some info about this or that. The recording was one of those monotone/flat affect sort of messages that come standard with your phone and one that most people rush to change. I thought it was odd considering the person I was trying to reach is one of those people who records cutsie messages with music in the background. I got a call back the next day while working my garage/shop that went as follows:
Ring… Ring…
Me: Hello
Caller: Hi this is Gary Larson and you left a couple of messages on our phone the last few days looking for ______.
Me: Uhh, yeah, sorry I must have had the wrong num…, wait, uhh – Gary Larson – as in THE Gary Larson?!
Caller: Well, there are a number of THE Gary Larson’s, but yes…
Me: Ummm, oh…. Yeah sorry, I didn’t mean to bug you. I will check the number and make sure to call the uhh right one from now on, sir.
Caller: Ok, great. Have a good day, bye…
Me: …………..
Now, I am someone who has a comeback for everything. As a child I was king of the ‘dozens (playground ‘Yo Mamma is so… ‘ matches) and I am almost never at a loss for words – sometimes to my own detriment… I pride myself on my ability to deliver a polished opinion/thought/answer on command and under stress. As one can tell from the transcript above, I failed miserably to seize the opportunity that serendipity dropped in my lap and tell an amazing artist how much I love his work and that at the very instant he called there was one of his comics in view, freshly pinned to the right of the shop door. No, no, instead I sounded like I had just put down the 3’ bong and paused my video game in my parent’s basement before answering his call. So much for my personal power of wit, self-control, verbal ability, and mental agility… dumbass…….
Comics for Cycling Geeks
There is a special place in my heart for the daily comic strip. I have a tool that feeds my three favorites to me in an e-mail each day so that I start my morning off with a little laughter. One of my favorites, Yehuda Moon, is for bike geeks, but has been on hiatus for a couple of months. Rick Smith, the cartoonist behind the strip took some time off to recharge his batteries and I have missed my daily dose.
Yehuda is an old-school Luddite cyclist that commutes everywhere – in all types of weather, rides a heavy-weight steel framed steed, sports a wool sweater and cycling cap pulled low, is a militant cycling advocate, and owns a bike shop with a guy named Joe who loves carbon bikes, technology, and speed. Joe serves Hardy to Yehuda’s Laurel. I see a little of myself in Joe and a lot of me in Yehuda. He pulls shenanigans that the evil inside me sing with glee – painting cycling lanes on main street in the middle of the night, relieving @sshat drivers of their keys, giving bike thieves a u-lock beat down, etc…
On May 2nd, new panels will be available, but this week there have been a couple spin-off funnies available if you check at the main site.
