Rock Climbing with the Lads

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This May saw the 2012 Orthopedic Big-Belly Hillbilly Climbing & Beer Drinking Association Cragfest. It was held at Smith Rock, OR and in Mt. Shasta City, CA. This was the 9th sort of-annual gathering in the last 13 years for our little band of over-educated, misshaped, crippled, wannabe climbers, profound thinkers and powerful drinkers. We spent a long week climbing, eating & drinking hopped beverages (I gained 6lbs!!), there were murderous 6-8 mile hikes up to crags, some nudity, 5 snake sightings (one reptile death), no broken bones, some quality routes climbed, limited blood loss, heavy rocks snuck into packs, laughter, video games, gas, Squid Billies, more laughter, and quality time spent catching up on each others’ lives…. A fine week off with buddies and away from the J-O-B.

This year’s cast of characters included:

Taint: A native son of Southern California. Strong climber, but easily confused by tri-cams and large hexes. A world traveler and new father who needs 11 hours of sleep a night to function and has absolutely no short term memory – none. An easy target for pranks and very poor at retaliation. Had to cancel his participation on an OBBHC&BDA trip two years ago because he had 2nd degree burns on the soles of his feet after helping with/leading a fire walking “class.”

Dr. Strippy-Socks: A writing, climbing, painting, fiddlin’, designing, and docterin’ polymath who was gracious enough to open his mountain home up to our little band of miscreants. A man who has an amazingly talented and giving spouse that allows him out of the house in polyester shirts, a visor, short-shorts, tall socks and sandals. This in an individual who in the course of a conversation will quote bolt torque specs, reference an obscure Ska band, outline the ideology of specific band of Orcs, and review the symptoms for early onset CHF in middle aged men.

The Bridesmaid Whisper: A bright, smart, medical resident with a dry sense of humor that borders the Sahara. The strongest climber of the trip, a man who developed the definitive definition of a #2 Pencil and made me tinkle myself a little while laughing hysterically in my sleeping bag. He is a man that can walk into a wedding reception and in short order has to wade through a throng of drunken bridesmaids who need his body like the Pope needs Jesus.

Smooth&Boney: Is a man who can sit on the couch for years, then walk outside and send a 5.12 sport route. Any mention of Jessica Alba will send him into smiling, wild-eyed fits of joy, followed by some alone time. Poor at hiking with a pack and once cried when his belayer tooted on him a little, has gear that predates Columbus, his favorite outdoor technical fabric is jean denim, and is the father to three adorable girls – the middle one loves me more than her uncle Rosy! When not climbing or wading through the estrogen that fills his life, he is a Designer/Engineer/Manager for the snazziest tool corporations in the world, but has yet to pass any cool shinny metal stuff on to his friends.

The Lawn Enforcement Officer: Father to two pale yet happy children and husband to a wife he doesn’t deserve: a mix of Betty Crocker/Belladonna/Ellen Page. I am the short, fat, balding, yard-obsessed, hairy, practical joking chronicler of this tale who now lives in Seattle in a 1928 house that is forever under reconstruction. The winner of The Deep Belly Button Award this year – A prize given to the fattest climber in the group for a given year.

Not-A-Biker: A great climber, brother to Smooth&Boney, and a generous friend who looks more like his father with the passing of each day. A man about to embark on an odyssey that will take him and his sweet southern, gvn-toting bride into the wilds of Philadelphia for a 3 to 29 year medical residency. He is someone who will freely give prostate exams to his friends (perfect strangers too…), has a questionable web search history, and who should never be allowed to even sit on a motorcycle. Was pantsed (sic) this year in full view of the entire group.

Missing this year was THE Mark Flood. Mark is the only man that Chuck Norris masturbates to. He is the strongest climber and hiker that any of us know, a gifted engineer, a good natured friend and drinking companion, and one of the toughest people you will ever meet. I have seen him drink from green stagnate pools one the sides of cliffs without any intestinal backlash and there have been things that have gone into his belly that would make a billie goat puke.

He has become a whispered legend in some circles after snatching falling climbers out of the air – mid fall – and saving them from a quick brutal death – truth. To punctuate the description/picture of Mr. Flood: He couldn’t join us this year because while hiking out of what was surely an epic day of climbing, he fell on the steep trail and a piece of iron rebar was shoved into his knee joint!! He tied a hankie around it and finished the walk out… His presence was duly missed this year and we all pray that he will be there for the next gathering to keep us all honest and safe.

Our yard is in bloom – Spring 2012

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Magical Spring has finally come to Le Maison du Talley. Our rhododendrons are back and in full pooping bloom after they were hacked back last year. The tulips, daffodils, and poppies have all decided to bloom at the same time. The Spanash, English and Provence lavender has taken root and flourished along the front fence. After a two year struggle with blossom-rot, the two cherries up front are full of flowers and green cherries. We have Mandarin orange blossoms, apple blossoms, apricots, figs, raspberry buds, a fence line of blooming roses, and 3 Meyer’s lemons on the dwarf tree in our backyard mini-orchard.

Stamps-with-Foot and I planted garlic and onions in the fall that are close to being pulled and we spent an afternoon planting tomatoes, squash, corn, and zucchini in two of our raised beds. After in initial problem with early blight last year, our two full beds of tomatoes went NUTS! and we had more that we could use or give away. We were more selective this year and planted just a couple varieties and only 7 plants. I hot-housed a bed of spinach, Swiss Chard, and beats all winter that is now in full production mode.

I plan to be home more this summer and really spend some time tending and harvesting, although one wouldn’t know it from all the traveling so far. I can’t wait until mid-August when I can sit in my cotton hammock, gently swinging over my Ireland-green grass, drinking a Dunkel Weissbeir, snuggling my wife, and patting our puppy while gazing out onto our yard and garden.

The Alaska Airlines iPhone App is the Shiz-nit!

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I have been out of touch and away from my blog for a month or so: lots of travel including a 48hr trip to Ireland, a climbing vacation with the boys, a couple short trips to SoCal, and 5 days in the English countryside on a tour of round-a-bouts and concrete cows…

In the process of racking up a large hump of air-miles I have flown on 11 different airlines and I can say without a doubt that Alaska Airlines has been the carrier that has provided the fasted check-in, slickest and most useful App, and all my flights were somewhat on-time. The Alaska App was the clincher. I checked in on the way to the airport, chose my seat, fast-tracked through security, and the QR bar code on my iPhone was scanned at the gate for my boarding pass. From Taxi to assigned seat in the aircraft it took me a total of 23 minutes! Really, I timed it. Now, I still had to remove my shoes (fvck you very much asshat shoe-bombing terrorists!!) and take my laptop out of my bag, but that is just par for the course. If every flight check-in and trip to the gate was this great, then I wouldn’t complain at all about air travel.

Film Friday – Wooden Clogs?!?

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I am not a big clog wearer… But I can appreciate the work that goes into crafting them. Althuough some of the work is done by machine, it is not like the shoes are being cut to the 1/1000th of an inch on a 21st Century HAAS CNC machine. The makers of this type of footwear are using old iron to rough the shoes out and then hand fitting and finishing them. These are built for wear and use and not for souvenirs to hang in an Amsterdam tourist shop. If you take a day trip out from Amsterdam/Rotterdam into the fields and villages, you will still see these on people’s feet. The same holds true with parts of Spain and France – especially with older rural residents.

Ignoring the yard and building stuff

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Horror of horrors, I did not touch my yard this weekend. My lush, Ireland-green grass (I am a wee bit narcissistic about my grass) was left to grow and stretch toward the sky in the weekend sunshine. I spent all available daylight hours outside and didn’t even attempt to take the mower out, turn the compost, or battle with my creeping nemesis – the dandelions. Stamps-With-Foot did a little weeding on Saturday, but the bulk of our weekend was committed to getting the kitchen cabinets done enough so that we could do a test fit and install.

Success! My wife was a priming and painting machine: taking care of the microwave cabinet, the lowers, and the drawers. The lower cabinets were positioned into place and their rock-maple tops fitted (waiting on the drawer fronts and pulls to be finished). I cut all the frames for the doors, assembled the fridge cabinet, installed it with my wife holding the thing up in the air (hehehe), tacked together the trash/recycling slider, and cut the shelves for the microwave cabinet. When completely done, our cabinet space will increase by more than a third, will include al the latest and coolest amenities (slides, organizers, spice racks, pullouts, etc…), and the new cabinets completely match the original 1928 built-ins, both in construction and style.

I need to finish the fridge top cabinet, install the drawers, add a corner cookbook shelf, tack up cove-crown around all, and one final coat of paint. SOMEDAY, this will all be finished and we will have the most awesomest kitchen a tiny, period appropriate, craftsman house can have!

I added a pic of Brodie lounging in the sunshine, just because.

Left Out in the Rain

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Stamps-With-Foot and I worked furiously in the warm sunshine on Sunday in our yard and on the final bits of the kitchen cabinets that needed to be done. Our last tasks for the day were building cabinet drawers and priming the two base cabinets. I had my ubiquitous notebook out, to the side of where we were working, checking off tasks and referring to measurements & notes as we went. We cleaned up the tools and paint around 6:30, changed, had dinner at a local Thai place and ventured out to our new Trader Joe’s for a little grocery shopping.

I was getting ready this morning for a trip to Boeing and started looking for my notebook because I needed a phone number in it. It then hit me like a baseball bat… My notebook… got left outside… overnight!… in the Rain!! FVCK!!!! I popped out the back door like my butt was on fire, my bathrobe flapping and losing a flip-flop in the dash. Damn… It was sitting on the side of the wheel barrow and had swollen to an inch thick. I walked back to the house, with my head hung down and blotted off what water I could and checked the pages – a light of hope. I use a waterproof, indelible ink in my fountain pens, so there was only a little loss of information or smeared blotches (in spots where I used a cheap pen) where detailed notes and drawings used to be. I could have been SO MUCH worse.

While most folks would have to live with a swollen book, most folks don’t have an awesome steel and iron 1920’s book press sitting in their home office… I blotted the pages again as best I could, separated the wettest ones with wax paper sheets, and put it in the press with cardboard and a towel plotter to get out as much water as possible. I left it there for 8 hours or so and removed it before the pages started to stick together. I then carefully opened every page, sat it on its end with the covers far apart, pages fanned open, on the kitchen tile floor in front of the heater vent. Everything should be just fine… I say that with hope in my heart and my fingers crossed.

I will let it dry for a day or two and then press it again for another 24 hours or so. I might take the opportunity to press a design or my name into the cover – I update when it come out of the press.

UPDATE 4-22-12: Took the notebook out of the press and it is nice and flat. While waiting for it finish pressing I made an embossing stamp out of a scrap piece of popular. My carving chisels were taken in a recent theft, so I used a dremel tool with the diamond carver bit to scratch a simple test piece. It is a stylized version of the Arabic word IQRA. I have more or less adopted it as my own hallmark and use it to stamp my furniture, cabinets, it is on my stationary, and I have a smaller version that I use as a wax seal here and there. I decided it was fine time to mark my notebooks as well.

Sweet, Sweet Desk Lovin’

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This is starting to get out of hand. We have six desks in our home and I need more. It may have now turned from fetish into a sickness. We are using them for all sorts of stuff: a work table, a liquor cabinet, a sewing/project center, paper repository, and for their intended purpose of writing and surfing the interwebs. Whenever I travel I have a wandering eye for bicycles and desk-like furniture – imagine Ron Jeremy leering at the contestants in a beauty pageant and you will have a good idea of what happens to me when I see a brazed bike frame or a Georgian secretary… I have seen a couple of pieces lately that I NEEDED! I needed them WAY down deep inside – like the Pope needs Jesus.

The one and only thing that keeps me from being more of a desk hoarder is my epic lack of proper funding. It makes me sad to leave them in the store all alone, where no one caresses their tops, opens the drawers slowly, tells them that they are pretty, and where they will end up with someone who will not treat them as nice as I would have.

Below is a selection from of desk-p0rn from the Sherlock Holmes Museum, the Charleston Antique district, Harrods in London, Restoration Hardware, misc. furniture shops, and my favorite Seattle antique store.

Film Friday – MAD Lathe Skills!

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Watching this video took away every excuse I have ever had on why my projects don’t tun our like I want them: “My Lathe is old,” “My Chisels aren’t right,” “I need a new jig,” I don’t have quality oak/maple/mahogany/black palm/koa to work with,” “The tool rest I use is crap”… Nope, I now know that every one of those phrases was complete and utter ego-protecting crap. Watch what this Moroccan craftsman does with a medieval bow lathe, a skew chisel, cast off wood, and his toes(!!). I am humbled.

What I want Thursday – 4/12/12

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A list of stuff and things that I want currently – not that I necessarily need, but that i wuold like to have or see done/happen:

1. More time to read, write, build, snuggle, climb, bike, run, laugh…
2. A twin Murphy-bed in my office disguised as a mid-century modern wardrobe so that we have more guest space.
3. For my year-long kitchen project to be finished
4. To remember the password for my old laptop so I can have access to 10+ years of pictures…
5. My very own spending money that I can do with what I wish without submitting to a vote/need analysis
6. To have my FVCKIN’ tools back that some asshat stole…
7. A few new t-shirts for summer and a flat belly to reside under them.
8. For my Mother and Sister to find the perfect place in life
9. For all the dandelions in my yard to cease to exist
10. I would very much like for the really sad, really pregnant girl I say in Seattle yesterday to find someone/something/someplace that makes her warm, happy, and safe.

Aftermath of a robbery

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A couple of months ago, we were robbed – my shop was cleaned of tools. It is just now that I have calmed down enough to write about it and not rant and want to get up and throw things/commit serious bodily harm to someone. All of my hand tools, small power tools and a rolling large tool box were taken. It was a huge blow, not just in dollars, but in sentiment as well. There were carving chisels that were my grandfathers, most of my father’s wrenches , 80 year old spoke shaves, saws, a brand new – never used – router, and all my air nailers. Cleaned out.

We were in the UK and Ireland for 9 days and a couple days after we got back, I had a miserable day at my J-O-B and just wanted to work in the garage/shop and make a big pile of plane shavings – stress relief. I walked in the door and there was stuff everywhere (more than usual). Boxes off shelves, lumber moved, clamps scattered… I couldn’t comprehend what I was seeing – did my wife move my stuff… No… Wait… Fvck!! I got crazy mad, then wanted to cry. My stomach tied itself in knots and my heart was sick as I made a mental calculation of what all was in my tool boxes. I called the cops.

Police came, took a report, I called in insurance company, and started looking on Craig’s list and in local pawn shops, while taking slow and painful inventory of what was gone. Not one tool, chisel, saw, router, or wrench ever showed up. To add insult to injury, I know who took it all. We had some contractors do some work at the house around Christmas and one of them was a little sketchy. Not weird junky-itch sketchy, he just looked around at everything in the house and yard with an appraising eye and followed me into the shop to get some supplies I had for him to use and he lingered just a little too long. I didn’t really put it all together until weeks later. I won’t go into details because I cannot “prove” anything and an online accusation could lead to court or this guy showing up at my house again and that would lead a different sort of court case… But I KNOW this guy has my stuff. I know, not a hunch, not a feeling, I know. I called the police to tell them what I had found and I was told that unless he was seen on a public street with one of my tools in his hand, that they could do very little. No warrant to search his vehicle, or house, or shop would be forthcoming… Man, it pisses me off that I paid this guy for slow work that I had to finish AND he took my property – tangible links with my father and Grandfather.

I filed a complaint for the workmanship issues and uncompleted work with the BBB, gave him a craptastic review on Yelp, and let the guy who recommended him know what all exactly happened. Maybe I can save someone else’s stuff. Additionally, I cut the plug off of a power planer months before the break-in because it had an electrical short to the metal housing. I hope that he puts a plug on it and the thing shocks the living shit out of him or that one of the carving chisels slips and relieves him of a reproductive organ in the lower abdominal region…

It is 71 BLEEPING degrees outside – WOOHOO!!

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Spring has finally decided to show up in Seattle! I am all giddy. Yesterday was Easter and the sun was out, birds were singing, my flowers are blooming, and my grass in Ireland green. I spent the morning, edging, mowing, raking, reseeding and assaulting my hated foe, the dandelions. I spent ALL DAY outside working on projects, fixing stuff that has waited for me all winter, working on a bookshelf for Stamps-With-foot’s sewing room, sharpening garden tools, and soaking in as much sunshine as possible. Brodie took up residence in his favorite patch of grass and alternately munched and napped. The end of his short snout got a little pink. I think that he is happier than I am about the sunshine. I am sitting inside at my J-O-B and I can see a little sliver of sunshine. I want to make a break for it!

As for Easter celebrations: There were chocolate & peanut butter eggs from my pretty wife, a Cadbury egg from my sister, and I purchased a hollow chocolate bunny, which I savaged, starting with its cute bunny ears… Brodie and I had a wonderful lunch of ham and ham, oh and more ham at my family’s place. Pork is bad for both of us and I was careful not to have any open flames around the house last night. Stamps-With-Foot is in Northern California visiting her sister and best friend in the world, so she was spared.

Film Friday – Brooks Saddlery

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I hate breaking in a new leather bike saddle – hate.  It takes a month of riding for it not to feel like some sort of 15th century Transilvanian torture device.  When it finally does wear into place, there is nothing better on long slow rides.  A properly broken-in and adjusted saddle makes back to back all day rides possible and enjoyable without any pain the next day.  My favorite of all time was a 1970’s vintage Rolls that I got with when I traded a pair of skis for a time-trial bike in the 1990’s.  It was like a soft calfskin glove for my butt.  It died in a horrendous crash on a colorado mountain road – a crash that left me with some serious road rash and some broken fingers.  When I replaced the bike and saddle, I put a Brooks B-17 (black) on my new stead.  After the initial torture, it was a constant companion for about 10 years.  It was heavier that most saddles, but I am not in the ounce counting club and a comfortable ride is worth POUNDS of added weight.

Below is a video of the Brooks factory tour.  They still do it all by hand.  Watching the video makes me want to buy an new one just because of its provenance.

Goodbye old friend…

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I was home from England for 13 hours when my faithful truck, Early, breathed his last bit of misted 87 octane unleaded gas. We were driving together to check out an advert for tools on Craigslist in Belleview, WA when his little transmission gave out on him after 278,482 miles. A rebuilt one, if I put it in myself, was $1200 and I decided it was time to let him go.

Early wasn’t pretty. He was dark green and rust, had a flat bed with wooden sides, and an interior only a mother could love. More than once people thought I had arrived somewhere to mow their lawn or haul away their junk. No one would park beside him in parking lots and when he and I changed lanes on the freeway, people got the hell out of our way.

Instead of being shinny, he was useful and I can give no higher praise to a truck than that. He moved us and everything we owned from our old house to our new one, always started the first time, hauled trees and crap to the dump countless times, took me to work when Stamps-With-Foot and I couldn’t carpool, served as a loaner when friends were in town, hauled lumber, gear, bikes, furniture, appliances, dirt, and most recently he delivered 1.5 tons of gravel for our hot tub base, though it did take him 5 trips…

I hope he can be as useful in death as he was when running. Maybe his steel bed, frame, and engine will be melted down and made into a bridge, a ship, or a building. Goodbye trusty old friend. Thank you.

Spring Cleaning and Garden Prep -2012

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The sun is out and it looks like spring has finally come to Seattle. I had a full weekend off and was in the country for a change, so it was time to get busy waking the garden and yard up, prepping for planting, take care of some spring cleaning and enjoy a sunny warm day outside. Below is how this past Sunday went for me:

Up and out of the shower by 10:00am
Wife made yummy breakfast with Trader Joe’s Croissants
Coffee made me human
Put on my overalls
Removed extension cords that powered Christmas lights
Started taking down Christmas lights – 2.5 months late
Realized when on top of ladder that I needed long reach tool I made last year
Spent 30 minutes searching…
Remembered that I turned old tool into something else
Muttered dirty words
Spent 10 minutes making new long reach Christmas light removal tool
While on top of ladder, cleaned gutters – 5th time in 12 months…. Stupid Pine tree…
Turned compost
Cleaned and swept shop a little
Took apart one of our winter hot houses.
Planted forgotten bag of tulip/Camila bulbs found in hot house
Shook head and hoped that they will come up
Mulched roses
Feed roses some of the pink Miracle Grow good stuff
Treated roses for Black Spot as preventative measure
Killed some evil dandelions
Laughed manically while committing the deed
Reconnected the garden irrigation system
Wife brought me coffee and a kiss
Mulched the apple and cherry trees
Ran out of mulch
Started to Home Depot and somehow drove past and all the way to Second Use
Found $220+ of oak flooring for $25
Bought oak flooring…
Picked up more mulch at Home Depot and replacement drill for one that was stolen
Unloaded truck
Wife didn’t raise eyebrow at truck full of wood
Got away with unplanned purchase this time…
Trimmed dead shoots from lavender
Mulched around all the lavender
Sweet wife made me lunch
Moved new cabinet from shop into basement
Started to move charcoal grill
Found football sized mass of blue and black mold inside grill
How in the hell does that happen??!?!?!
Gagged more than a little
Muttered more dirty words
Cleaned out mold, scrubbed every surface with bleach solution and wire brush
There were some additional words spoken that start with F
Made HUGE hot fire with oak shop scrap to kill EVERYTHING in grill
Grill now ready for spring
Laid out spot on outside garage wall for new garden tool shed.
Cut stakes for raspberries
Dark outside so went into basement
Sanded kitchen cabinet shelves that are under construction
Put a coat of primer on them
Installed in some drawer slides in what will be new 15″ cabinets beside the stove
Fv#%ing drill battery ran out of juice
My lovely bride made a yummy dinner
Can’t find new charger for new drill
Wrapped last of wife’s birthday gifts
Put finishing coat of clear-coat on Persian table base that I have been redoing
Somehow got finish in my mouth
Spat and tried repeatedly to scrap the turpentine taste off my tongue
Failed
Gave up
Went to bed
Opened book
Not a single word read before I passed completely out.

The Things They Carried…

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You don’t really own anything you can’t carry on your back at a dead run.
– Daniel Keys Moran

In 2004 there was a Flickr thread entitled “What’s in your bag?” that immediately captured a voyeuristic nerve with the denizens of the Web and since then about a gamillion people have posted pictures of all the crap they carry with them through their daily lives. You can see it all: packs, purses, pencil cases, hello kitty, descriptions, puppies (!?!), the entire Moleskine collection, pens, sunglasses, pistols, retainers, pocket knives, Apple products, and enough bike inner tubes to encircle the earth 12 times. Hours of my life have been lost peeping into other peoples lives through the contents of their purse/messenger bag/pockets. The phenomena has been around long enough now that there are subsets of bags and contents: Camera equipment, writers, hipsters, journalists, students, bike messengers, everyday carry (EDC), diaper bags, etc…

I came in after a recent craptastic day and started emptying my pockets and satchel. It seems I carry what professional organizers call “a lot of shit.” I was amazed to see, all stacked in one spot, how many different individual items I tote around all day. I took a picture and added it to the growing online show & tell/confessional.

Starbucks gum
2 dollar coins and a quarter
16GB USB with former puppy’s tag attached
Steel LAMY fountain pen – medium nib, brown ink
Moleskine work notebook – filled with sketches and task lists
iPad with case – pic shot from city wall in Essaouira, Morocco
iPhone, no case – pic of driftwood carving found at beach near the house
Truck/car/house keys with old dog tag
Silver bracelets (copies of John Wayne’s – google it)
Wedding ring – milled from and aircraft bearing
Kershaw – Ken Onion pocket knife
Eddie Bauer slim wallet and money clip – that’s right, big money: one WHOLE dollar
Milt Sparks knock-off IWB holster
Magazine loaded with 7 Gold Dots
Para Ordnance Black Watch .45 – some custom work
Ray-Ban birth control glasses
Bag: heavily modified US Army OD green map satchel

I sometimes carry a small flashlight in my satchel, a couple of other Moleskines, a roll of fountain pens, a spare magazine, sunglasses, my ORCA card, a kindle, a cheapo Bic lighter, and a small folding knife on my keychain. I forgot the light this morning and I flew recently and haven’t put the TSA-offending Victorinox back on my keys.

What do you carry with you during your day? Below are a representational photos of the phenomena including mine.

Hand Crafted Friday

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I have decided to add a weekly (or semi-monthly/quarterly/yearly…) post to my site showcasing both the hands and tools that bring functional art to life.   I have a whole horde of videos and podcasts that make me want to put my tools away and take up needle point that I will share.  Here you will find weavers, shoe makers, knife smiths, cabinet makers, tool builders, farmers, bike builders, glass blowers, tradesman, luthiers, book binders, leather craftsman, instrument makers, timber frame builders, carvers, shipwrights, potters, blacksmiths, cigar rollers, and others practicing old-world, hands-on, crafts.  There will be videos of them at work, shop tours, profiles, interviews, and various bits of my own commentary.  It is my hope that videos will increase awareness for the artistry of traditionally crafted tools, art, objects, machines, and transportation.

The inaugural post is from the Made by Hand website and is a profile of a knife smith that makes custom kitchen knives for the chefs of New York City.

Made by Hand / No 2 The Knife Maker from Made by Hand on Vimeo.

What I Want Thursday – 3/15/12

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Time again to reflect on some crap that I have been obsessing over for the last couple of weeks:

1.  To be in Hawaii on vacation with my wife and OUT of cell phone range
2.  To organize and back up all my computer files and pictures from the mess of harddrives and CDs/DVDs
3.  For my shop to be back up to 100% after the break in
4.  A fantastic sport coat
5.  For it to be sunny and 70 degrees outside my house
6.  A Midi-Lathe to complete some house and garden turning projects
7.  A sliding tool box for my truck
8.  A set of 2010 leather-bound Encyclopedia Britannica
9.  To get a real, hand written, paper letter from my son and daughter
10.  To never  worry about the IRS or April 15th EVER again.
11.  I want to ride my bike like I did when I was 12:  aimlessly and all day!!
12.  More time…

Touching the earth

/ Matt Talley / 2 Comments

My father-in-law, The Chatty Buddha, spent almost a week with us during the holidays and he likes to get me up REALLY early to run at the beach. Before each of these runs, he must say any number of chants and incantations to make the weather as crappy as possible – really, really. Anyway, just before we go and run through blizzards and gale-force winds, we will sit at the breakfast table and I will try to get a half a cup of coffee down while my father-in-law hums and vibrates with nervous energy. He tries so hard to be Zen, he really does, and I can only imagine how hard it is for him to sit and meditate while vibrating like the quarts crystal in a calculator watch.

On the first morning of this years annual Christmas-to-Jotunheim run, he just couldn’t contain all the penned up joy of expectation. He was asking questions, quoting Hafiz, stretching, standing up every 3 seconds…. I was shocked that he could focus his gaze on a single object and that he hadn’t yet vibed his way into a parallel dimension. His son was sitting with us and in about the same state of no coffee/walking dead as me. We needed a few minutes of calm before charging once more into the frigid breach, so I looked at The Chatty Buddha and told him to touch the earth – at the moment of enlightenment Buddha is said to have touched the ground with his right hand. It is depicted in about a billion statues. There was a brief moment of silence as he stared at me with his piercing blue eyes. A giggling smile broke out across his face and we all three had a big laugh. For the rest of their visit this year, he would start to spin like a dervish and remind him to touch the earth. He would look at me sideways, squint his eyes, and slip back into our dimension. In the spirit of the above, while we were in the UK and Ireland recently, I took some pictures for just for him – see below.

Elementary…

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Sherlock Holmes has become an everyday occurrence in my life. Last year my wife and I read a few of the Laurie King/Mary Russell books. She got The House of Silk and The Sherlockian for Christmas. I have started re-reading all the original Doyle stories and last, but not least… Sherlock Holmes is now a draftsman at my J-O-B. No really, I work with a man who’s actual real legal name, given at birth, is Sherlock Holmes. I wanted to hire the guy from the milli-second that I saw the heading of his resume, but he is actually a fantastic draftsman and a great asset.

Anyway, I have been and will be spending more than a little time in London and England in general this year and on my most recent trip I happened to find myself on Baker Street in London. Well, far be it from me to miss a weird travel opportunity. The wife and I walked down to the Sherlock Holmes “Museum” near the Baker Street tube stop and took the tour. We enjoyed the aside in our busy day and hammed it a photo-op. Stamps-With-Foot makes a pretty little Watson…

Hot tub installation and emergency preparedness

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I bought my sweet wife a hot tub for our wedding anniversary. We had been looking for a while for just the right used tub, but most that were out there on Craigslist and the Inter-Webs were utter crap or cost almost as much as a new one. We found a machinist who wanted to sell his immaculately maintained soaker so he could put in a lux outdoor kitchen. It is an older tub, but he had all the maintenance records on it, the interior looked brand new, it worked great, and we paid about what it would have taken for him to have it hauled to the dump. I hired three giant Pacific islanders to deliver it – money well spent – then dug the trench for the electric and ran the wiring almost right away. I then made five trips to Home Depot and bought 2,450 pounds of gravel and sand to make a base – my back ached for a week from carring and packing it all into a solid foundation.  The the hot-tub movers were absent on installation day, so I used my big monkey-brain and with the help of my nephew, I moved the tub into place with rollers, planks, a lever, and wedges.   It is within 1/2 inch of where I planned it on paper and is almost dead level – 1/8″ up on the west side.

Due to my homeowner’s insurance restrictions, I was not allowed to wire into my main panel – it voids my fire coverage (yours probably says the same thing…), so I hired three successive electricians to tie it all in (one showed up high, the second was a complete no show, the third finally doing the needed work). While the third and final electrician was there and since I was paying for his time, I had him install a generator transfer switch, an exterior generator plug and a grounded exterior outlet.   I reasoned that when the power goes out, I can crank the generator and we will still have the fridge, lights, TV/DVD, and heat as long as we have gas.

Stamps-With-Foot LOVES the tub. Given to her own devices, she will sit in it all day like a Japanese snow monkey. It was great when the snow storm hit us this year in January.   We sat in the tub with snow piled all around, reflecting the city lights off its white surface.   I will build a deck over our existing concrete pad, from the house to the tub this spring, which will make her doubly happy.

November 2013 Update:

The tub ran like the German rail system for over 2.75 years. The water was always perfect, the heater and pump worked just like they were supposed to. I had a plastic fitting crack while switching filters that cost me $250 to have replaced, but that was it for maintenance. We ran the tub year around, turning the heat off in the summer for a nice cool soak on hot nights/afternoons. In the preparation for the move to France, I winterized it by shocking the water with chemical treatment, then I drained it completely. I vacuumed out all the lines as best I could – any water left should grow mold due to the shock treatment. I built a 2X4 platform and put the cover on it so that any accumulated snow or rain wouldn’t cause a cave in, before shrink-wrapping and tarping the whole thing to keep out any and all errant moisture. The cover has had it, and we will get a new one when we return to Seattle in a couple of years. My hope is that the tub springs back to working order and we have more trouble-free years together.

Drinking the black stuff in Ireland

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I resolved not to travel as much in 2012 as I did in 2011 (over 150K air miles), but I am not off to an auspicious start: by January 17th, I already had just over 9,000 miles and I am booked for another British/European tour in March,  but I can say for a fact that 2012 has started off with much sweeter miles,  My J-O-B sent me to England and Ireland for 8 days and my sweet little wife, Stamps-With-Foot, got to tag along for the first time in years.  I can’t tell you how great it was to have her the with me!  I slept great, I didn’t miss her when I saw some new or interesting site since she was right there.  I had a dinner date every night and it was guaranteed that would be invited back to her place…

We had a day off in London and a night out in Dublin and we made the most of our time seeing old friends, visiting the V&A, taking the Globe Theatre tour, wandering through the Sherlock Homes “Museum”, visiting favorite shops, drinking Guinness, ogling the floor at Christchurch, more Guinness, and listening to Irish trad music on the top floor of Gogarty’s in Temple Bar.  It was a really nice mid-winter diversion for us, though there were some tears shed over Brodie, my wife’s puppy/fur-baby, not being there to snuggle her to sleep…

Our Stolen Puppy – found!!

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My wife ran into our local pharmacy to get a prescription and when she came out our car and an SUV next to us had been broken into.  The other party had a gym bag stolen and our GPS and iPod were left alone, but they TOOK OUR DOG!!! My wife was inconsolable! All she could do was sob and sob. Brodie is a huge member of the family – I think my brother-in-law is plotting to off us so he can inheret him. My mother walks him every day. My wife’s father – The Chatty Buddha – treats him like a grandchild. Really, really: gifts at christmas and a dog-related comic hung at dog-bowl level in his home, which is 5 hours away and there “for when Brodie visits.” my friends talk about him like they party with the little guy on weekends and pet/scratch him before saying ‘boo’ to either of us when they come over. Vacations and dates are planned around this dog’s schedule. His theft was a serious kick in the gut. I wanted to do the people that took him some serious harm… Perminant limp sort of harm and my balling pacifist wife was all for it.

We rescued Brodie through Bulldog Haven NW after he was deemed unadoptable for medical reasons and was slated to be put down.  We nursed him back to health and he has been happy with us for almost three years. He is the best dog that either of us has ever had. We prayed that whoever took him was keeping him warm and safe and that we would get him back soon.

The minute we got home, we got online and on the phones to the vets in our area, his microchip company, we posted on the west seattle blog and the lady who runs BHNW jumped on craigslist minutes after our call to her. One of Laurel’s dear friends (Natalie) came over and helped man the phones, calm Laurel down, and she drove around with us looking for him until well after dark. There was huge Facebook traffic on this, with cross posts and more than 250 comments. Brodie’s abduction made it all the way to the Boeing Intraweb and there was a blip on the King 5 News site (since taken down). We printed over a hundred flyers and I rode one of my bikes around the neighborhood taping/stapling reward posters everywhere.

Brodie was found about a mile from Walgreens, huddled beside the recycling can, cold and wet, but safe. The guy that found him called the phone number on his tag around 8:00, as we were headed to get a quick bite to eat. I whipped my POS truck around and sped there. He didnt know about the reward we offered, but he will get every penny of it – There are good people in the world!

Brodie and his mother were super tired form his ordeal today. They fell asleep snuggling on the couch about 9:00. This weekend has officially been declared “whateverBrodiewants Fest” and there will be bacon for breakfest, buffalo snacks, hot yummy beef dinner, and more cuddling than he can stand.

We are glad to have him homeland cannot thank our friends, neighbors, and everyone involved enough. THANK YOU!!

Zombie Eradication and Snowboarding

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My son, The Ruminator, spent his first Christmas in Seattle with us this year.  I had the fine fortune of being off work, so we got to hang out, read, watch movies, shoot zombies, build some stuff, eat cereal while watching cartoons, play the ukelele, snowboard, and just hang out.

This past summer, we went on a cabin-in-the-woods road trip and there was some mad campfire Ukulele and guitar playing and harmonizing.  The Ruminator was enthralled and I taught him a couple of songs so he could join in.  He asked Santa for his own and we made that happen – you know, Hendrix’s first instrument was a Uke that is dad found in an apartment he was cleaning out… We spent almost every afternoon working on strumming and learning a few more simple songs.  My hope is that he becomes the next Clapton and grows rich enough to spoil his dad in fine style in my old age.  No really, I would be happy as I could be if he and I could just strum a little together, sing a song or two and pass the Uke back and forth on camping and hiking trips.

The other thing that he REALLY, REALLY wanted for Christmas was to go snowboarding.  I find that my son often likes the idea of stuff more than actually doing it, but as he was adamant, so I booked us a shuttle ride to Crystal Mountain and him a days worth of lessons in snow school.  NEVER teach someone you love or care about how to ski or snowboard.  I have seen more relationships disintegrate on the bunny hill than I can count.  I have seen kids take their helmets and even skis off and throw them at their parent.  When an 8-year old in a florescent snow suit is cussing and swearing vile oaths, you know they mean it!  Trust me, snow school is worth EVERY penny, as it will save you a lot of heartache and make sure your ride home from the mountain will not be an “I-hate-you-fest.”

Conditions that day couldn’t have been better: a 5′ base layer with 12″ of new powder on the ground and blue skies.  I hadn’t been on my board in a couple years (OK, 5 years…) due to surgery, multiple international moves, and most of all – laziness…   I was chomping at the bit to dive into the powder.  After dropping the fruit of my loins off with the other Gortex-clad young-in’s, I spent the morning doing exactly that, though not quite like I planned.  After taking the lift up to mid-mountain, I hopped on a blue run as a warm up and spent the next 10 minutes of my life imitating a snowplow with my forehead and performing some serious feats of accidental aerial acrobatics.  Holy crap, I suck!!  The next run was better, and the next after that and so on, but by lunch, when I went to retrieve my progeny, I was still not a pimple on the backside of Shawn White.

The Ruminator and I rode together after lunch and it was probably the highlight of my week, maybe my year: to be there with my son on his first snow day…  I teared up on our last run together as he stood up and linked his very first turn.  He loved our trip and snowboarding and being with him made my heart happy.

London Cycling

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Many a fine two-wheeled mistress have I, yet I am burdened with an oft wandering eye…  Last week in London I spent way too muck time ogling bicycles.  Locked up outside a store on the sidewalk, hung in shop windows, rolling down the street…  of all the cycles that caught my eye, the Bramptons that scurried about were the most quintessentially English.  I don’t think that I have ever seen a folding bike locked up here in the US, but it was common place in london, though that might be due to the killer bike racks…

So long 2011, don’t let the door hit you in the @ss…

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2011 was a hard year for us, like it has been for so many Americans, on a number of levels: I was gone constantly for work – over 100,000 air miles, we had some serious medical bills, there was money spent to help some good people out of a bind, some unexpected home repairs, a layoff, taxes, etc…  I also chose 2011 to really work on my weight: putting it on, not taking it off.  I just stopped running, biking and lifting for the last half of the year.  I blame it on many factors: my work schedule, stress, an injury, laziness, apathy…

As I stand in my birthday suit in front of the mirror, I have done a fine job turning myself into a bald Troll doll.  As I had to promise my wife that I would go out without pants anymore (long story), I doubt that anyone will see me in this state, but I KNOW.  When dressed for working outside on the weekend, I look remarkably similar to a fvcking garden gnome.  I am not happy about this state of affairs!  My New Year’s resolution is to rid myself of this baggage by summer.  This is also the year that I would like to spend less on shit the I want and truly determine the things that I need before my debit card comes whipping out.  I WILL finish all my current cabinet projects, rub my wife’s feet more – it makes her happy. Eat MUCH less sugar, have a prosperous garden and mini-orchard this year. On the literature front, I am planning to put a big dent in the Conan Doyle Sherlock Homes tales, spend some time writing, read all the new crap that I have bought for my Kindle that just sits there and moves farther back in the queue as I keep buying new Kindle crack.

Campaign Furniture

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Charleston, SC is one one the places that makes Marta Stewart go all weak in the knees: it is antiques heaven.  I had just finished reading a post on the Lost Art Press Blog about a shop there that deals mainly in campaign furniture (a type of furniture made specifically for travel and/or military campaigning and something that makes  my inner Martha breathe heavy), when I got the serendipitous news that my J-O-B was sending me there for a few days. Well then…  I had one afternoon off and I drug a couple of coworkers to the antiques district downtown and hunted for the shop.  My, my, my….  The proprietor had original pieces from the British Raj that he let me fondle and covet.  I really wanted some personal alone time with a specific teak and wicker lounger.  Me, the chair, some port, candle light, and sweet, sweet love….

I am in the process of building my own campaign-style camp kitchen, chairs, table, and wet bar to take with us on the Lukowski-Gahagan-Talley Glamping trips planed for this spring and summer, where roughing it means the mushrooms are crimini instead of chantarails.   I snagged a few ideas from the shop and some additional research that I am incorporating.  I will post when somewhat complete, but in the meantime, take a look at some of the pictures I snapped and have included below.

A fruitful season

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I am sitting in our breakfast nook, drinking coffee and getting mentally prepped for my J-O-B. As I sip my needed and delicious cup o’ joe, I can see the winter sunrise reflecting off the tips of the frost covered grass in the front yard. It has me ruminating on the intensity, goals, minor failures, and harvest from this years garden and yard work.

I spent our very cold spring getting our raised boxes ready for a bumper crop: perfect soil mix, irrigation lines, compost, etc… The tomatoes were planted a little early and they got an early blight that stunted them for a time, but they came back in force and we had more tomatoes than we new what to do with this year. I didn’t get the onions in the ground soon enough or plant garlic at all, so e ultimately gathered 2 medium white onions and I left the rest of the shoots in the ground this fall, planted winter garlic and covered them with straw so the we will have a summer crop next year.

We feel our biggest success was with our greens. Planted spinach, butter lettuce, and chard that fed us all summer. There was an unfortunate incident with the broccoli (bugs, microwave, crunchy dinner…), but on the whole our bed of greens was were most of the bang for our buck came from.

Fall hurt a little. I was away a good bit traveling for work and the garden was neglected. My very first apple was stolen by a squirrel, the slugs went NUTS on the last of the tomato crop. Fvcking slugs… There will be a battle next year and I am planning on a plan of full slug eradication. There was some definite success though: we gathered almost 2 gallons of raspberries, made mint mojitos and mint juleps from the 6 types of mint I have growing in containers. There were probably 3 bushels of tomatoes that came out of one 3×7 raised bed – really. We had our first lemon, first fig, cherries, huckleberries, strawberries (also hurt by the squirrels though), a full cup of blue berries, beets, greens, and lot of knowledge gained through screwing up.

Thoughts for this winter and next year:

Death to all slugs!!
Need more bees early in the season for fruit trees – hang some mason bees in a warm area.
Grow starts in basement and do not plant too early.
Mulch raspberries and roses.
Cut all blackberries out.
Need more drip irrigation hose.
Raise kitchen herb planters up another foot off the ground.
Raise strawberry pots up as well.
Prune tomato flowers so that crop is smaller and fruit larger.
Use apple bags to keep apple pests at bay.
Spray fruit trees early!
Spray roses with anti-rust/fungal early and monthly.
Spend more time in garden.

2011 Christmas list

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Every year, instead of bumbling around at the last minute and either spending WAY too much coin on a guilt-riddled extravagant present or buying the completely wrong thing that we will each smile over and pretend to like on Christmas morning, my sweet wife and I exchange Christmas lists in mid November.  We don’t get the other one every item on their respective list or even most of them – they are used as a gift guide and if a couple or three things from the list show up under the tree then all the better.  For me, it really cuts down on the ugly ties, strange t-shirts, and books I will never read.  We do the same things with the kids, so that we have a general idea of what they are into each year.  This Christmas my list includes:

  1. Cast Iron Brownie Skillet @ Bed, Bath & Beyond (I am trying to curb my cookie habit with brownies…)
  2. Smart Wool Socks @ REI
  3. DeWalt Trim Router Kit @ Rockler, Wood Craft, Home Depot or Here
  4. The Gift of Bees @ Heifer International
  5. iPod Nano from Apple
  6. LunaTik Silver watch band for Nano @ MFG Website
  7. 1 box of .45cal Ball FMJ
  8. Red Iron Tagine @ Bed, Bath & Beyond
  9. 1 Bag of Kona Coffee @ This Online Shop
  10. Sam Adam’s Wheat Beer Glasses @ Their Online Shop (6th year on the list – hint, hint)
  11. Laser Guide for Mitre Saw @ Rockler
  12. Old Warner Brothers Cartoons @ Amazon (also like Tom & Jerry and Tex Avery ‘Toons)
  13. Subscription to Monocle Magazine
  14. Amazon, Apple, Starbucks, B&N cards
  15. A donation to Smile Train, MFS, ADA, Habitat for Humanity, or your local homeless shelter would really brighten up the holiday.

I sent a similar list to the kids, but I added a new truck, an awesome cyclocross bike, an Omega Seamaster Watch, World Peace, a new table saw…  you know, in case they are feeling generous this holiday season.

MIA – last seen with paint on new pants and sawdust in eye

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I realized yesterday that haven’t posted anything for almost a month: no astute observations, not one pointed remark, no weird OCD-driven lists, no pictures of adventures at home and afield…. Nothing. Hmmmm.  I have just been REALLY busy!! It started with painting the living room, the kitched paint was next, we expanded into wiring a hot tub, I decided to finish up a furniture project, the breakfast table “needed” to be cut down, fancied up, and refinished.  I am heavy into finishing my incredibly overbuilt and way too complicated kitchen cabinets, Halloween came, there was Thanksgiving prep, I had to put the garden to sleep for the winter, blow all the water out of the yard irrigation system, clean the gutters (4th time this year – grumble, grumble… hate neighbor’s tree… grumble, grumble…). On top of it all, my J-O-B was INSANE: lots of late nights, weekends, travel, OT, pressure, stress, etc…

There is some proof of all the work that we have been doing – I have semi-updated the pictures on my project page, but remember that most were shot with an iPhone in crap conditions.  None of this pics are going to get me into National Geographic!

It hasn’t been all work though:  I have been able to go to the range with my cuddly .45s and punch holes in some zombies a good bit – fine, fine stress relief.  I mentioned Halloween – Stamps-With-Foot and I outdid ourselves again this year at our local Halloween party. We went as Wednesday and Pugsly Adams – a big hit at the festivities.   I went as a pimp to work – think Will Ferrel in The Other Guys movie: grill, blond ‘fro, leopard coat/fedora, purple faux croc high-heeled side-zippered boots, a pimp cane, crunk cup, loads of bling, coke nails – I had it down. A my fellow engi-nerds let me down though… Not one other costume in my group – not even a funny t-shirt!!  Sales had some good ones this year, HR was all in, the fiber optics group brought game, but Engineering sucked it! How is it all those people with big brains, imagination, and vast amounts of reasoning ability could not come up with something?! There are WOW players, Trekkies, SGA initiates, one D&D uber-geek, and every single one of them (including the female members of our team) have slave-girl Leia dreams…. They let me down, but I soldiered on and even gave a new-hire tour and orientation in my pimp-o-rific attire. I will not forget or forgive their breach of the nerd code! Philistines.

Speaking of my J-O-B, the long hours, travel, all the late meals out, and my general lack of physical motivation has gifted me with 20 extra pounds of fat compared to this time last year.  In essence, it is my own fault – my bikes are all sitting there waiting on me to love them, I have a sweet pair of new running kicks, A gym membership that we pay for every month, and a dusty yoga mat.  I HAVE to dig deep, put away work and get my butt moving or I will be the size of Jabba the Hutt in no time and the Wife is not into Slave Girl Leia…

I think that brings it all up to date for the most part. I will try to be more diligent about keeping up when life starts swirling around me.